


Unlucky Day

by Stablemonkey



Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Injury Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-25 17:20:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 44,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10768890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stablemonkey/pseuds/Stablemonkey
Summary: Originally posted over on ff.net, only now just learning how to post it here. Was a one-shot but expanded because of lovely feedback.Getting home safe after a rescue is a good day, but sometimes the Tracy brothers aren't so lucky. This is a short TAG 2015 story about poor Virgil getting injured and his brothers coming to the rescue. Now expanded to include his mental and physical recovery too.





	1. Chapter One

The first thing he was aware of was the inhalation of dusty air, his lungs protested at the tiny particles and he began to cough weakly. As he tried to ease the irritation and steady his breathing, Virgil blinked open his eyes but there was nothing to see. He tried to remember what had happened, tried to focus on where he was but the pain in his legs became all too clear and he cried out long and ragged. He needed to see, needed something to give him an idea of just how much trouble he was in. With his left arm achingly painful, he reached above his shoulder to draw down his light and hoped it would still work. With a silent wish, he flipped the switch and thanked whoever was listening for his first small mercy. The light was bright enough to show just how much trouble he was in, the cave had collapsed, his legs were pinned and the claustrophobic notion of running out of air suddenly had him breathing heavier. Calm, Virgil, stay calm. 

Virgil let his head fall back, shifting and twisting to assess just how stuck he was. Pain shot through his body and he quickly stopped trying, he tapped his communicator and hoped that the same luck applied to that as it did with his light. 

“Thunderbird Five, can you hear me?” 

He waited for an eternity, he breathed slow as he begged John to hear him. 

“…gil?” 

Virgil sucked in a breath, eyes squeezed shut to hold back tears. The connection was bad, but it was there. A half-broken lifeline, but so very, very reassuring. 

“…gil, can…ear me?” 

“John,” Virgil said, relief poured in with one small word. 

“…ld on… signal.” The words were too broken, but he knew their meaning anyway, John was trying to clean up the transmission. 

“Virgil, can you hear me now?” 

“Yeah, I can now.” 

“Good, that’s good. You had me worried, we haven’t been able to reach you for almost an hour. Are you okay?” 

Virgil swallowed, his mouth dry with fragmented rubble. “Not really, but I’m alive so that’s something.” 

John paused for far too long, knowing him as Virgil did he was probably already briefing everyone to Virgil’s situation. Or at least that’s what he told himself, because having John lose his composure over his brother’s predicament didn’t help keep him calm. 

“Don’t worry, they’re on their way. How bad are you hurt?” The momentary wobble in John’s voice unnerved him, John never wobbled, always focused and on task. 

“My legs are pinned, they’re hurting something fierce. I think I hit my head pretty hard too, I’m feeling a little sleepy.” Virgil shuddered, the cold he knew was shock started to creep in. “I’m going into shock too, can’t keep warm.” 

“You’re going to be fine, we’ll get you out little brother, just hold on a little longer for us, okay?” 

“Hmm,” he replied, every word seemed to drain him more, short, easy answers hurt him less. “How long?” 

“Scott and Gordon are almost there, just ten minutes more and they’ll be with you. You fell further down when the quake hit, they’ve been digging the entire time you were out. Keep talking to me, Virg.” 

“Really cold,” he said, his voice getting weaker no matter how loud he tried to be. He tried to move again, desperation forcing him to escape. He needed to get out, now. The pain shot through him, his spine ablaze as he screamed with the agony of the movement. 

“Virgil! Virgil!” 

“It hurts,” he cried, “John, I can’t.” 

“Virgil, please listen to me. You have to stay still, you can’t move, you understand? They’re coming, if you try to free yourself you’ll make it harder for Scott and Gordon to get you out. You know the drill, little brother, just be still.” 

The pain ebbed, still very much there but now Virgil could breathe again. As he gulped in deep breaths on dusty air his mind began to cloud over. All the energy he had was seeping out with barely anything left to hold on to, his breaths began to shudder, his light grew dimmer, or was that his eyes? 

“Tired.” 

“I know, but don’t sleep. Stay with me.” 

“Trying,” Virgil turned his head slowly to the left, the small movement had what he could see spinning wildly around. He closed his eyes to try and stop the vision from bringing up the contents of his stomach but it didn’t help much at all. He found it comforting and quiet, closing his eyes helped to shut everything out and let him rest more. The spinning stopped and he knew he should keep his eyes open but it was so nice to have them shut, he was so sleepy, he could stay like this for a little while. 

“I can’t hear you, Virg, talk to me.” 

He didn’t want to talk, he wanted to sleep. “Sleep.” 

“No, no, stay awake.” 

Virgil knew John was saying more, he could hear his brother’s voice but it didn’t help keep him awake. Sleep was much better. A few minutes, that’s all he needed, just until they got here. 

… 

“Virgil? Open your eyes for me, come on little brother.” 

He could feel warmth on his cheek, so lovely and warm that he turned his head to get more of it. The rest of his body shuddered in envy, he wanted more of that warmth, so much more. “Cold,” he whispered. 

“I know, I know buddy, but we just need you to be awake for us, come on.” 

Virgil frowned, it wasn’t John’s voice, “Scott?” 

“That’s it, come back to us. No more sleeping.” 

Virgil blinked open his eyes for a second time, but the little light he had before was replaced with a blinding amount of light that had him squinting his eyes against it. 

“There you go, nice of you to join us.” Scott was staring down at him, a smile on his face. Virgil couldn’t see beyond him but he recognised the sound of moving rubble. 

“John?” 

“You’re making a habit of scaring me, Virg.” John replied, Virgil could tell he was smiling. 

“Sorry,” he said, letting out a tired sigh. “How bad am I?” 

“Your vitals are good, Gordon’s moving the last of the debris so we’ll have you out of here in no time.” Scott said, his gaze turned down to Virgil’s lower body. Virgil may be out of it but it wasn’t unnoticed that Scott didn’t mention his legs.  

“My legs?” 

“Will be fine,” Scott answered quickly, another reassuring smile but Scott’s eyes showed his uncertainty.  

“Hey Virgil, you ready to get out of here?” Gordon appeared behind Scott, a hand falling onto his shoulder. “He's all clear.” He said to Scott.  

“Then let’s get this show on the road.” 

… 

Virgil started to feel a whole lot better by the time he was inside Thunderbird Two, Scott had given him something for the pain, wrapped a blanket around him and then he was strapped in and ready to go. Both Scott and Gordon had splint his legs, neither too sure of the damage but both knowing the basics to make sure they didn’t make things worse for him. 

He glanced around as Scott rummaged through the metal cabinets in the med bay, muttering to himself as whatever he was after eluded him. Virgil smiled and turned back to staring at the ceiling, this was usually his job so watching his brother fumble around was amusing. Virgil considered how promising it was that he had time to consider things funny in his current state, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up just yet. 

“Is Gordon flying Two back?” 

His comment startled Scott, he obviously thought Virgil was asleep. “Afraid so, as much as I’m sure you’d love to, you’re in no fit state.” Scott replied as he walked back over to Virgil’s side. “I’ll be here with you, Thunderbird One is staying put until I can come back and get her with Kayo later.” 

“Hmm,” Virgil listened to the sound of his bird firing up, as she started to lift away from the ground he let the relief finally wash over him. “Scott?” 

Scott rested his hand on his shoulder, pulling up chair to sit beside him. “How’re you holding up?” 

“Been better,” Virgil replied. He could feel his chest tightening as the tears he held in threatened to fall. “Thought that is was it, you know?” 

“You knew we would come for you,” Scott said softly, the reassuring older brother trying his best to calm Virgil’s nerves. 

“I know,” Virgil said as he blinked the tears away. “Just didn’t think I’d be able to stick around long enough.” 

“But you did, and that’s all that matters. You’re strong, Virgil, don’t ever doubt that.” Scott ran his hand through Virgil’s dusty hair, giving him another warm smile as the warmth of the blanket pulled Virgil into a dreamless sleep. 

… 

Virgil knew he wouldn’t be heading for Tracy Island, his physical condition was something they wouldn’t be able to deal with. So, when he next awoke, it was at the nearest GDF military hospital, a completely unfamiliar building with the same unfamiliar faces around his bed. He wanted his family nearby, something to keep him grounded to normality but he also knew that realistically they had to finish the jobs they all started and probably didn’t want to get in the way of the doctors that were busy treating him.  

When one of those unfamiliar faces came into view with a warming smile, Virgil tried to lift himself up more. 

“No, no, none of that Virgil. You just stay where you are.” The doctor placed a firm hand to his shoulder. “You have nothing to worry about, everything is just fine.” 

“Am I?” Virgil said as he allowed himself to relax. “Will I be fine?”  

The doctor gestured for his staff to leave the room and smiled again, he nodded as he pulled a stool towards the bed. “You’ve done a fair bit of damage but we’ve managed to put it all right, you’ll need to let yourself heal and then there’ll be some physiotherapy required but no lasting damage as far as we can see. You were extremely lucky, the injuries sustained to your legs were severe but we don’t foresee any long-term effects.” 

Virgil nodded, breathing out heavily with the news. “Thanks, doc.” 

“You’re welcome, now if you’re up for visitors there’s a few outside who have pestered my staff all night that are eager to see you.” 

Virgil looked sheepishly at the doctor, giving him an apologetic look. “Sorry, I hope they weren’t too much trouble.” 

“Nothing I’m not already used to. So, shall I send them in?” The doctor replied as he stood. 

“Yes, please.” 

The doctor nodded as he headed for the door, he pulled it open and gestured with an arm. “You can come in now.” 

Virgil was surprised when all four of his brothers and one worried looking Grandma walked inside, the doctor was most likely understating just how pestered his staff were. Scott pulled the stool closer and gestured for their Grandma to sit, as she did she took Virgil’s hand and squeezed it tight. 

“That’s my cue to leave, I’m sure I don’t need to say it but please try not to stress him too much. If you need anything just give me a call.” The doctor said as he started to pull the door closed. 

“Thanks again, doc.” 

“You’re welcome, I’ll be back later to check on you.” The doctor pulled the door shut and Virgil took a moment to take in all of their faces. 

“You all look exhausted,” he said gently, he turned to his Grandma, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” 

“Don’t you dare be sorry, I’m just glad my boy is safe. All my boys.” She reached her free hand up to stroke his hair softly. “You had me very worried, but you’re a Tracy and whilst I don’t like to see you boys get hurt, I’m proud of every one of you for everything you do. John kept you with us, Scott and Gordon got you out, Alan kept me sane as we listened to everything happening and you? You kept fighting. I couldn’t be prouder than I am right now.” 

“I don’t feel much like a fighter, I didn’t at the time.” Virgil said as he closed his eyes. His chest tightened, memories still fresh and raw as he fought back the emotions and tears. A hand landed on his shoulder and Virgil was pulled back to the now. 

Scott squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. “You’re here,” he said as he stared into Virgil’s eyes, “it’s okay, you’re here.” 

Virgil nodded, taking deep breaths to gain back some control. “I’ll be okay.” 

“You sure will be,” Gordon said brightly, “and until you’re back on your feet I get to fly Thunderbird Two. I could do with the practise.” 

Virgil groaned, the very thought of Gordon flying his bird for more than the odd occasion didn’t fill him with confidence. 

“You need all the practise you can get,” Alan said with a grin, “Brains is still trying to knock out the dent you made on her when you landed her yesterday.” 

John slapped his hand to his face as Scott’s jaw dropped open. “Alan!” 

“Dent?” Virgil said as his eyes widened in dismay, “you dented my ship?” 

“My bad,” Gordon replied sheepishly as he backed towards the door. “How about I get us some drinks?” 

“How about you go and fix that dent before I’m home to see it!” Virgil yelped, he hissed when the sudden movement jarred something he was sure wasn’t meant to move for a while. 

“Okay,” Grandma said as she eased Virgil back down. “How about we do as the doctor said and not stress Virgil too much?” She leaned in close to Virgil and stroked his cheek, “I’ll make Gordon test out my new cookie recipe tonight, will that make you feel better?” 

Virgil smiled at his Grandma before giving Gordon a wicked grin. “Yes, much better. Thanks, Grandma.” 


	2. Chapter Two

 

Unlucky Day 

Chapter 2 

Virgil shaded the corner of the building, enjoying the sound as the pencil flitted quickly across the page. His left leg twitched with the sudden tickling sensation and he stopped drawing, deftly twisted the pencil in his hand and shoved it down the inside of the cast. He could just about reach, which was lucky as he wasn't sure how much more he could take of the damned cast preventing him from reaching every ticklish spot that popped up. The itch was soon brought under control but the urge to keep rubbing continued on, he jumped as a hand tapped him on the head in reprimand. 

"Stop that," the doctor said as he pulled up a chair alongside Virgil's wheelchair. Virgil smiled his best innocent smile, born from years of being a younger brother. The doctor didn't waver in his admonishment. "One day you'll lose that pencil down there, then what'll you do?" 

"Get another pencil?" Virgil replied as he turned back to his drawing. The doctor sighed as he settled back in his chair and looked out of the window. Virgil could see him study both the view and Virgil's work. 

"Wow, now that's not what I see." The doctor said in amazement. "I see a boring, uninteresting military base and you see..." The doctor paused, seemingly trying to find the right words. "Something far more beautiful, more alive." 

"I only draw what I see, Doc. Just because it's manmade doesn't mean it can't be pretty." Virgil replied, his mind only half noticing the conversation. 

The doctor hummed in thought. "Liam," the man corrected. Virgil smirked, he enjoyed playing the name game, it seemed to irritate the doctor in a playful way. He'd been here for nearly three weeks, and the doctor had been his main medical contact, carefully and professionally managing Virgil's care; it meant that the two had become very well acquainted and with the rest of the world moving around him, Virgil enjoyed the constant companionship that the doctor offered.  

His brothers visited often, bringing him things from home to keep him occupied and keeping him updated on everything that he was missing out on. He missed their company but he knew that they couldn't be here all the time, he spoke to them all frequently and he was grateful for the time they took in their busy lives to spare him what they could. Not that any of that was in doubt, they would all move mountains for each other, it still left Virgil feeling guilty for adding to their burdens.  

"So if this dull, boring, manmade view shows you that," Liam gestured to the drawing, "What does your ship look like to you? Aphrodite in green?" 

Virgil laughed, a hearty laugh that had him wincing when he moved his more severely injured right leg. "She's a ship, she looks like a ship." Virgil said as he evened out his breathing. "You make it sound like I have a love affair with her." 

"Fine, lie to me." Liam replied with feigned hurt, he reached over and helped Virgil adjust his sore leg into a more comfortable position. "Don't think I don't notice your emphatic use of pronouns." 

"Yeah, okay," Virgil replied with a chuckle, "She's beautiful and I draw her just the way she is, it doesn't require an artistic eye to see something pretty." 

"No," Liam agreed, "But from what I can see, your view of the world is far more than seeing the beauty within. You're an optimist, Virgil, it's clear as day in your art." 

Virgil sobered quickly, he dropped the pencil down onto the paper and carefully closed the pad. Liam noticed and reached out to open it again. 

"You haven't finished." 

"The view will still be there tomorrow," Virgil countered as he closed the pad again. 

"But will you see it the same way as today?" 

"I hope you're not planning to psychoanalyse me, because that'll get you nothing but the silent treatment." Virgil reached down to release the wheel brakes as Liam stood. 

"Nothing of the sort, you know that." Liam replied as he helped Virgil with the brakes and pulled him away from the window and towards the bed. "Just offering a friendly ear, because you look like you could use one." 

It was just another day at the office, it's what he told himself. He'd been in harms way time and time again but this one just wouldn't rest like all the others did. He could blame it on the knock on the head, or the pain with his pinned legs, the darkness eating away at his light or being trapped underground alone. At the time, he was far from optimistic. At the time, he did nothing but give up. Was that really what this all came to? Did he really just give up so easily? Was there more he could have done? There's always a way, there had to be. So far, Virgil hadn't found one that worked. 

After he had awoken at the hospital, his family had surrounded him. His Grandma had said how proud she was of him for fighting his way through, but he hadn't. All he did was lay there and ignore every piece of training he ever had in a futile notion of an end. Sleeping when he shouldn't have, trying to wrench himself free when he knew that was the worst decision of all, fearing the dark and the trapped air running out when he knew he could have calculated the amount of air left to him in his sleep. He turned into a panicked child even as John tried to reassure him. He'd been scared, he didn't control himself enough and he let fear get the better of him. With the shoe on the other foot, he was a coward. No, he couldn't tell anyone about this, not without them thinking less of him. He knew his brothers would think him foolish for even contemplating it, but he didn't want them to know. He didn't want them to think any less of him. 

Virgil sighed, he didn't want to talk and he certainly didn't want to alienate the only person on the whole base who spent so much time with him. "Honestly, Doc, I'm fine." 

Liam studied him for a moment before he nodded, he bent to lock the brakes and stepped back to let Virgil hoist himself onto the bed. "Upper body only, left leg for balance." Liam reminded gently. 

"I got this, Doc, no problem." Virgil grunted as he shuffled into position. It had taken a while to learn how best to move about, he wasn't permitted to stand at all, not until his left leg was able to take the strain of the far more injured right one. He'd been assured that a scan later in the week would hopefully be positive and the left cast could be removed, he had managed pretty well so far with his predicament and it was the help of Liam and his larger build and height that helped him move about in the early stages that gave him confidence. Liam knew when to back off and let Virgil do things on his own, the perks of being a doctor and knowing what the body could manage. 

Scott had fussed, a constant shadow behind VIrgil whenever he made to move anywhere. Gordon had done the same, knowing how it felt to be incapacitated himself. Alan, being smaller, would have struggled to lift Virgil, he had kept his distance and let the others do the fussing. As much as Alan had grown, an injury to a brother reminded everyone of just how young he was. The one time Virgil had pushed himself too far had him flat on his face and two brothers admonishing him, but it was the look on Alan's face that gave Virgil perspective. He had scared Alan and Virgil could only call his brother to him after being placed back in the bed, he had pulled Alan in close and reassured him that he would be fine. The guilt he felt hadn't fully left him, even if Alan had resumed his normal, happy persona shortly afterwards. 

Once Virgil was safely on the bed, Liam stepped in and adjusted his legs into a more comfortable position. The monitors flickered to life as the sensors detected Virgil's presence. Liam glanced up and studied the readings, he nodded to himself before he looked back to Virgil. "Pain, one to ten." 

"Two," Virgil replied quickly. 

Liam frowned at him. 

Virgil held up his hands as he chuckled, "Honest, a two." 

Liam raised an eyebrow, he shook his head and sighed. "Fine, but if you need pain relief then you tell me, got it?" 

Virgil nodded as he pulled the blankets over, he let his head fall to the pillow and yawned. He had lost track of time with his drawing, it was still daylight outside but his sleeping patterns had been off from the moment he arrived at the hospital. "No problem, Doc." 

"Liam," 

Virgil chuckled again as the doctor rolled his eyes and headed for the door.  

"Three hours before the rest of the Tracy brood arrive, better make the most of that nap." 

"I plan to," Virgil said as he shut his eyes, "Thanks, Doc." 

Virgil smiled as Liam tutted before the door closed quietly. 

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,., 

"Anyone got a pen?"  

The hushed whispers of his youngest brother woke him from his sleep, he kept his eyes closed as he allowed himself to wake fully. He heard the scrape as Liam's pen on the side table was picked up, then the sound of the cap being removed with a pop. 

"Alan, you're not doodling on his cast," Scott replied firmly, "Give me that." 

"Aw, come on, he won't mind." Alan griped and the sound of Alan jumping told Virgil the pen was out of his reach. 

"What's the harm?" Gordon added, equally as quiet, the bed dipped by his left leg. "It'll be gone in a week, we promise it'll be age appropriate." 

"Where did you get that?" Scott said with surprise, Gordon had his own pen from the sounds of it. "Gordon, if you value your life you'll stop right now." 

"Why? If I draw it on the back, he won't notice." 

"'He' already has," Virgil said and the weight on the bed lifted quickly. Virgil opened his eyes to see Gordon standing, pen in hand. Scott was grinning as he held his hand high and Alan was half way up climbing his older brother in an attempt to retrieve the pen in Scott's hand. Virgil laughed, "That's an image I won't ever forget." 

Alan gave up trying to reach the pen and settled for rounding the bed and sitting next to Virgil's hip, "Did we wake you?" 

Virgil nodded, "It's fine though, waking up to you climbing Scott like a tree was entertaining, John would've liked to have seen that." 

"John did." 

Virgil startled and turned to his right, John was seated in the wheelchair with an amused look on his face. "How are you so quiet?" Virgil said. 

"With the amount of noise they all make? Hardly a difficultly." John said, he wheeled the chair closer and stepped out. He gestured with his hand, "Your chariot awaits." 

Virgil frowned, his eyes darted between his brothers and they all shared the same smile. "What's going on?" 

"Doctor Thorn gave you an evening pass, provided you don't get out of the chair you're permitted a little trip." Scott said as he reached for Virgil's bathrobe. 

Virgil perked up at that, he'd been able to leave the room before now, but the idea that he could have free reign had him tingling with excitement. He looked down at his legs and the shorts that were the only thing he could wear with his leg casts and pointed as he addressed his brothers. "I hope there isn't a dress code because this is not flattering." 

Scott chuckled, "Trust me, shorts is the appropriate attire for the evening. Now, any of you kids need the bathroom before we go?" 

Virgil appreciated Scott's subtle question, he lifted himself up and shuffled nearer the edge of the bed. As he got closer, John's hand reached out to take his arm. Virgil waved him away and eased his legs off the bed, he grabbed the wheelchair as John decided to steady that instead and with a grunt Virgil dropped into it, he sighed at the effort. He pushed forward and suddenly felt embarrassed.  

"Give me a minute," he said as he wheeled around the bed to the bathroom. 

Once inside, he locked the door, it was frowned upon but the door could be unlocked from the outside if the need arose. Locking the door gave him a sense of security and Virgil had never had to experience the embarrassment of a failed toilet break so no one ever called him on the locked door. He went through the same process again, lifting himself out of the chair and onto the toilet whilst somehow managing to drop his shorts, he couldn't wait for the occasion when he could finally pee standing up. It was it's own sense of achievement, one he wouldn't share with his brothers but a sure sign that he would be mostly mended with that task securely under his belt again. 

He could hear his brothers outside the door, they were talking amiably about everyday events and Virgil sighed, three weeks here and kept suitably in the loop by them all, he still felt left out. It was a foolish feeling, his brothers did everything they could to keep him feeling part of life but Virgil couldn't help the notion of loneliness. He enjoyed the company of the hospital staff, of his constant companion and the newfound friendship with Liam, but he really missed home. 

Was that where they would be going? It wasn't really feasible, Tracy Island wasn't close enough for an evening excursion but Virgil could hope. He finished up and washed, headed back out into his hospital room and the familiar face of his doctor stood mingled in with his brothers. 

"I'm just here to check that my patient is fit to fly, although I do expect a souvenir." Liam said as he approached Virgil. "Pain, one to ten." 

Virgil rolled his eyes. If the name game was irritating Liam, then the pain game was just as annoying for Virgil, he sighed. "Two." 

Liam frowned at him again and Virgil glanced between him and his brothers, "Honest, Doc. It's a two, has been all day." 

Liam nodded, he turned to Scott and handed him a bottle. "That's if it's more than a two, make sure he's home by curfew." Liam smirked at Virgil with the last part. 

Virgil looked at him with a playful pout and Liam laughed, Scott simply nodded, pocketed the bottle and moved behind Virgil, as Virgil tried to protest and control the wheelchair himself, Scott batted his hands away. "I'm driving." 

Alan curled the bathrobe up and laid it on Virgil's lap, Gordon and John led the way. 

As they walked along the corridor Virgil tipped his head back to look at Scott, "So, where are we going?" 

"To the beach!" Alan said in front of him and Virgil had dropped his head in time to see Alan bump fists excitedly with Gordon. 

Virgil smiled at their excitement. The beach did sound like a good idea, well the sun and sea part, he didn't like the prospect of getting sand in his cast but he could live with that if it meant he got to see something other than white walls. 

When they finally reached the outside, Virgil took a deep breath. Being cooped up inside for most of the day made him appreciate the simplest things in life. As they rounded the last building, Virgil could feel his body warming under the low sun. He closed his eyes and let it, taking another deep breath. When he opened his eyes they widened before softening, he smiled gently. 

"Hello, beautiful." 

Scott ruffled Virgil's hair with a quiet chuckle as he wheeled him toward Thunderbird Two. 

TBC. 


	3. Chapter Three

 

Unlucky Day 

Chapter 3 

As Thunderbird Two sored through the sky, Virgil wondered how many more things were going to make him smile today. He hadn’t expected to go on any sort of trip with both legs still out of commission, but from the moment his brothers had told him he’d be getting out for a while, he had been excited. As his ship carried them all to their destination, he let his eyes slip shut and just listened to her sounds. Scott was throttling her too hard, he _could_ tell his brother to ease the thrust back and make some half-hearted joke about how bad his flying was but he found he didn’t want to. Scott was used to flying a faster and lighter craft, but Virgil knew that all of his brothers had been flying her whilst he was grounded and more than likely Scott was flying her the most. Someone had to. He wasn’t sure how soon he’d be ready to fly into rescues again, his body would heal faster than his mind, that was for sure. He was scared and unsure how he would react when a call came in for him, he could jump straight in and not have a problem, but somewhere deep inside him had doubts, his confidence had definitely taken a hit. 

Before he could let his thoughts bother him further, his ship decided to lull him into a light snooze. 

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,. 

The VTOLs firing woke him before the hand on the shoulder did, he took a deep breath and stretched his back, blinked open his eyes and smiled as Gordon beamed at him. Virgil looked around the cockpit and noticed that John and Alan were both absent as Thunderbird Two touched down and then raised up onto her struts. Scott was in the process of shutting down the engines as Gordon wheeled Virgil’s chair toward him, he began to shift in his seat, ready to transfer over but his leg protested. Virgil tried to cover his discomfort but Gordon could see his grimace, he conceded and let the groan slide out. 

“Everything okay?” Scott said as he approached, his expression doing well to hide his obvious concern. Virgil nodded and Gordon frowned at him. 

“I’m fine,” Virgil replied, but he decided to stay where he was for a moment longer. “Sometimes I forget how to move right.” 

Liam had chastised him frequently for moving too fast, although what he considered fast was a snail’s pace to what Virgil was used to. But to compound matters further, the wheelchair was on the wrong side, he easily climbed into the jump seat because it was on his left but now he’d have to disembark on his right. He considered his options but there was no space to his left for the chair to fit, he dropped his head dejectedly. 

“I need help getting into the chair,” Virgil mumbled. 

His brothers were there instantly, both weaving their arms around him from either side and lifting him with ease. Neither of them said anything and Virgil was relieved that they hadn’t, the humiliation of being carried like a princess, whilst not funny now, would one day be a source of amusement at his expense. His brothers gently lowered him down and he thanked them, released the brakes and turned to wheel towards the lower access hatch. 

“Do you need your pills?” Scott said, his voice controlled. Virgil appreciated his brother’s composure, he was worried but he also understood that Virgil would be more irritated if he fussed too much.  

Virgil shook his head as the hatch was lowered, the sun was still reasonably high and it was obvious that Thunderbird Two had travelled far to outrun the setting sun at the hospital. He caught sight of the only other people on the small beach, John and Alan were setting up a barbeque. There were metal runners on the sand, leading from Thunderbird Two to where the smoke rose into the sky from the grill. They had stayed close to Two, the tide was coming in and Virgil could sense Gordon buzzing with eager anticipation to swim. Virgil wasn’t much for taking to the water, but right now he really wanted to join Gordon, nothing like broken legs to help you appreciate the simple things in life. 

Alan waved them over and Scott took control of the wheelchair and steered Virgil along the manmade path, as he got closer he pointed at John’s apron and the words written on it. 

“License to grill?” Virgil laughed, “Where did you get that?” 

John rolled his eyes, “I was put in charge of cooking, I wanted an apron and Gordon said he had one for me. By the time I’d found out, it was too late to change it.” 

"Nice." Virgil turned to Gordon and matched his grin. 

"Thank you," Gordon beamed. 

Scott huffed a laugh at both of his younger brothers as he wheeled Virgil over toward the sun loungers that had obviously been brought from home. Virgil groaned, there was no way he could manage that alone. To spare his fumbling embarrassment at trying to climb into one, he decided to avoid it all together. 

"Doc said I had to stay in the chair." 

"I won't tell him if you won't," Scott supplied conspiratorially in his ear.  

Virgil turned his head and frowned at Scott, it was a playful frown but he hoped Scott would read his expression the right way. He really didn't want to try and fall into that lounger. But Scott didn't relent as he rolled to a stop and applied the brakes. 

"I can't get into that, it's too low." Virgil dropped his gaze to his lap, his legs clear as day ahead of him, showing his weakness. 

"We'll help," Scott replied as he came to Virgil's right side, Gordon appeared at his left. 

"But it's..." Virgil waved his arms in annoyance at his legs. 

"Humiliating?" Scott suggested as he leaned down to tuck his arms, once again, under Virgil. Gordon matched his movements. 

Virgil sighed heavily, "… Yeah." 

"This is temporary, you need help and we're all here to help you until you're literally back on your feet." Scott said.  

"Besides, it's not like you wouldn't do the same for us." Gordon added, and then Virgil was hoisted into his brothers' arms. Virgil closed his eyes and let them move him, trying to ignore the niggle in his gut that told him he looked pathetic and stupid. 

"There is something more humiliating than this," Scott said as the three of them settled Virgil as comfortable as he could make himself considering the casts. 

"Can't see anything more embarrassing than this, right now," Virgil grumbled. 

"I used to change your diapers, does that count?" Scott smirked as he took up the lounger to Virgil's left side. "And I have the picture to prove it." 

"Ha! Now that is more embarrassing," Alan said, thoroughly amused at the comment that he started to giggle. 

John casually kicked sand over Alan's sandals, "we've all changed yours, so shush." 

"We're not that much different in age, you know." Virgil said as he looked at Scott.  

"I was helping Mom," Scott shrugged, "can't say I enjoyed it but she gave me ice cream every time I did so I had incentive." 

"Hope you washed your hands," Virgil chuckled. He started to feel a little better now that he was settled and the conversation was moving along. 

"Yuck," Alan scrunched his face up, "no amount of ice cream would make me do that, bro." 

"If you want to talk about disgusting, you vomited all over, and ruined, my favourite book." John said as he turned the burgers. 

"Oh yeah?" Alan squeaked, Virgil could tell he was looking for something to come back with. "Well, Virgil, you broke his telescope." 

"Hey! I fixed it afterwards! And why are we back to me again?" Virgil waved his arms in playful frustration, Gordon dropped a cold can of soda into his hand. He plopped down into the lounger on Virgil's other side. 

John waved the spatula at Virgil, "remember when you dropped Dad's phone into the toilet?" 

Virgil groaned and Scott laughed heartily. Alan's jaw dropped, "really? How are you still alive?" 

"He was five," Scott chuckled, "Dad wasn't paying attention to him so Virgil snatched the phone from the desk and ran, Dad couldn't get to him before it went in the water but managed to stop him from flushing it away." 

"I barely remember that," Virgil said as he reached under the cast and tried to scratch an itch just out of reach. "I do remember his face though, he was furious." 

"I bet he was," Alan said as John nudged him. Alan frowned in question, John gestured to the buns so Alan busied himself with getting the food ready with his brother. 

Virgil couldn't reach the itchy spot, he didn't have a pencil to hand so he settled for the twig sitting in the sand next to him. He scooped it up, shook and blew the sand from it and slid it between leg and cast. Scott slapped at his hand and took the twig away, much to Virgil's annoyance and protest.  

As Alan called Scott over, their oldest brother lifted from the lounger and went to help. With Scott's back turned, Gordon held out a pencil with a smile on his face, Virgil thanked him and returned to the irritating itch.  

"So, how're you doing? Aside from the itchy, broken legs." Gordon said as he settled back with his drink in hand. 

Virgil continued to scratch away. Gordon's question was well intentioned, subtle and discreet, but Virgil wasn't sure how to answer such a gentle approach to such a loaded question.  

So, the simpler the answer, the easier he could avoid expanding on it. "I'm okay." 

"Is that a genuine okay or the Tracy kind of okay?" Gordon replied, Virgil glanced at him but his brother's eyes were focused on the ocean. 

"Is there a difference? Both would have the same result." Virgil sipped at his drink as Gordon shifted onto his side to face him. 

"And what would that be?" 

"Overprotective brothers who won't listen to either the _I'm_ or the _okay_ when I answer them." Virgil didn't mean to make it sound like a complaint, his brother didn't react but Virgil knew that he'd now confirmed to Gordon that he was not, in fact, okay. 

Gordon sighed. "You know, we Tracys tend to do stupid things, a lot. We're very good at hiding things because, whatever the reason, we think it's the best thing to do to make sure we don't hurt each other. But on the flip side, we also know that something's wrong and we worm our way in until we get to the problem and try to help fix it. Kinda unstable, huh?" 

Virgil didn't respond. 

"Do you remember when the ground gave way beneath you?" 

_The ground rumbled, Virgil tried to steady himself but he couldn't keep upright. He glanced at the cave entrance, so close but now so far away because walking was never going to happen when he couldn't even keep on his feet. He tried to crawl as the rocks crumbled and groaned around him, he caught a glimpse of Gordon running towards him, his body bathed in sunlight as he approached the entrance. He was calling for Virgil, his own steps staggered as he tried to keep himself from following in Virgil's footsteps and tumbling to the ground._  

_Virgil tried once again to stand, he looked to the floor beneath him and cursed as the cracks began to form. At first and so briefly, they were small but so quickly they gaped open and crumbled. He glanced up, eyes wide with fear as Gordon saw it too, then as they gave way he watched as the entrance disappeared under rock so large he could only briefly consider his luck that he hadn't been crushed there and then. But he was falling fast, blind with no idea of when or if he would hit the bottom alive as large chunks fell around him. He only had a moment to consider that he may still be crushed when a large piece of the debris struck him hard enough to send him into a different kind of darkness._  

"I do," Virgil said, the words spoken quietly. "You saw me fall." 

"I did," Gordon replied as he shifted back to watch the sea again. "And I gotta tell you, I've had some pretty impressive nightmares about that. So, you know, if you want to compare notes, I'm just saying I'm here if you need me." 

"I'm sorry," Virgil said. And there it was, yet another thing to help him feel even more pathetic. Giving Gordon nightmares because he wasn't good enough to get himself out of danger, hurting his younger brother just because he couldn't stand on his own two feet and scramble that short distance to safety. Gordon wasn't trying to make him feel even worse, Virgil knew that, but his good intentions had the opposite effect. The least he could do was try to help Gordon. "Are you still having nightmares?" 

"Nothing to be sorry for, bro." Gordon replied, "and they're not as frequent now, not with those three pestering me about it all the time. But it helps, you know? Talking it out with someone." 

"Yeah," Virgil acquiesced. He understood, he'd done it many a time for all of his brothers, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't admit how scared he had been, how hopeless it felt, how useless he was that he couldn't do anything but wait and hope. He couldn't face it himself, how was he supposed to speak it aloud to them? 

Scott returned with a tray of freshly cooked burgers, Alan and John behind him. They gathered around Virgil's lounger as he tried to pull himself more upright, he hissed as his leg once again protested. Alan gave him a questioning look but Virgil just smiled in reassurance. 

As they sat and enjoyed each other's company, Virgil groaned in pleasure at the first food in so many weeks that wasn't made by a military hospital. "This is divine." 

"A slight exaggeration, but I'll take it." John said with a quirk of his lip. "Hospital food not to your liking?" 

"The portion sizes are tiny, I have serious doubts about any of it being remotely nutritious and it all has the same consistency of mush." Virgil grumbled half-heartedly, his attention fully on the burger as he took a big bite. 

Scott chuckled and gestured to the burger. "Well, enjoy it while it lasts." 

"I intend to," he replied happily. 

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,. 

After they had had their fill of food, Virgil and Scott sat alone on the loungers. Alan and Gordon were busy burying a protesting John in the sand and the sun was starting to set below the watery horizon. Virgil, with a full stomach and the most energetic day in a long while, was starting to drift to sleep. The painkillers that Scott insist he take after his leg began to ache more than usual may have something to do with it as well. He heard Scott calling to John and teasing him to take one for the team, but it started to sound far away. 

_He coughed, then he hurt. His legs were trapped and the air must be_ _getting thin, it was too dark_ _and the sounds of crumbling fragments terrified him_ _that the rocks c_ _ould come down any second. But his brothers would come, they wouldn't leave him here._  

_"John," Virgil coughed again, more pain shooting along his spine. "Thunderbird Five, are you there?"_  

_H_ _e wasn't._  

_"John?"_  

_Virgil tried to move, he pushed with lame effort, everything he had, but only the smallest rocks would clear away. His head fell back against the ground, he sucked_ _in a dusty_ _breath, another and another. "John? Scott, Gordon?"_  

_He scratched at the larger rubble, his hands shaking along with his body, the wetness on his face he insisted was only sweat. He tried again, his full fingered gloves tearing away at the tips with the effort and he knew that it would start to peel at his skin if he continued. He did, beginning to grow frantic even with the pain that screamed at him to stop._  

_He started to scream_ _, tried to use that to feed his_ _wa_ _ning_ _adrenaline and give him the boost he needed to fight on. But the scream turned into a moan, morphing again into a whimper, then a sob._  

_Where were they? Did they know how far he had fallen? Do they think he's dead? He can't reach them, they can't reach him. He was alone in the dark, the cold walls echoing every sound he made, every cry, every breath. He sobbed again and berated himself for being so pathetically small, he tensed his body, willing himself to be strong but that didn't work. He still sobbed._  

_"Virgil."_  

_"Virgil, it's okay. You're okay."_  

_"Wake up."_  

Virgil startled awake, yelling out as he pushed forward and ran from the dream. The tears blurred his vision and he reached out and grasped the first thing that met his hands as he panted back to awareness. 

The sun that he had fallen asleep to was gone, his only view was the blue shirt of Scott's, a button missing as Virgil's grip ripped it from it's stitching. Scott had him in a tight embrace, his hand around his head and back, the latter rubbing away the nightmare and reminding him of the here and now. 

He panted frantically as he found his bearings and dropped his forehead onto Scott's shoulder, his brother didn't speak and left Virgil to find his own rhythm again. When he finally felt steady he lifted his head and pushed his brother away with his still trembling hands. "I'm okay." 

Scott ran his hand through Virgil's hair and gave him a sad smile. "No, you're not." 

Virgil dropped his gaze, closed his eyes and sighed. "I'll be okay, it was just a bad dream, it's fine." 

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

"No." Virgil said, his reply was too sharp, too harsh and he instantly regretted it. He looked up and into Scott's worried eyes and tried to reassure him with a smile, Virgil knew it wasn't good enough. "Not yet, I'm sorry." 

"You have nothing to be sorry for, stop apologising." Scott replied as he shuffled back to his lounger and brushed at his sand covered knees. "We're here when you're ready, you know you can talk to us." 

Virgil nodded automatically, he knew that that was true. He scanned ahead for the rest of his family and their concerned faces stared back at him, he gave them all a smile and nod, a silent notification that all was well even if he was lying to them. Even if he was lying to himself. 

The setting sun put an end to their excursion, the brothers began packing away and tidying the evidence that they were even there. John wheeled Virgil back toward Thunderbird Two as the rest followed behind with their arms full. John and Virgil took the platform back up to the cockpit, chatting for a while whilst their brothers cleared and tidied before joining them. John stood by as Virgil eased himself into his jump seat and clipped his belt into place, John pushed the wheelchair away. 

By the time the remaining three brothers returned and had settled into their seats, the sun had set. 

Virgil chuckled and earned odd looks from his brothers, he shrugged. "Looks like I missed Doc's curfew." 

Scott huffed as he clipped his belt into place. "And you forgot to get him a souvenir." 

"We could always give him John's apron," Alan supplied. 

"I don't think he'd appreciate that, Alan." John said. 

"Aww, have you grown attached to your apron, John?" Gordon replied as he turned his chair to face him. 

"Hardly," John said as he crossed his arms and frowned at Gordon. 

Virgil enjoyed the playful banter as Scott powered up Thunderbird Two, she lifted from the ground with ease as she carried he and his brothers back towards the base. 

TBC 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry it's taken so long to update this story, but on the plus side it is longer than the previous chapter lengths :)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has shown interest in this story, I hope I don't disappoint anyone with it.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Thunderbirds, sadly. I'm only borrowing them for a little bit.

Virgil had enjoyed his trip to the beach, his brothers had all worked hard to make it a special occasion and now that he was back at the hospital he was even more desperate to get home. With the MRI scan due today on his legs, Virgil was optimistic that he would be good to leave in a couple of days provided there wasn't any problem.

As he sat in his bed, waiting for Liam to take him for the scan, he sketched on his pad. His trip had been inspiring, and as he pencilled the landscape, he started to outline his brothers onto the page. Gordon lounged with his arms under his head, his legs crossed as he smiled with closed eyes. Alan and John stood in front of the grill, talking with smiles on their faces. Scott sat with one knee bent, his arm resting over his leg with a drink in his hand. He had a contented smile on his face as he watched the ocean. They were still outlines, but Virgil could see them all clearly as he worked on bringing them to life on the page. They all looked relaxed and happy. A rare moment for the Tracy family when rescues came thick and fast nowadays. It was a snapshot of tranquillity that Virgil wanted to commit to paper.

He had spoken to Scott two hours earlier, his brother had looked exhausted. Virgil had learned that after they had returned him to the hospital they had all been called out to different rescues. Scott and Gordon had been called to an industrial site in Spain to help rescue trapped workers in an underground conveyor tunnel, a fire had started and trapped their only means of escape. John and Alan had been busy stopping a salvage bot from wrecking perfectly working satellites in Earth’s orbit. As far as Virgil knew, they were all home – or, in John’s case, safely back in Thunderbird Five – and were now resting between jobs. Virgil knew that their excursion added to their exhaustion, their attempt to cheer him up only now helped to ramp up Virgil's guilt that he was partly to blame for the tired look in his brother’s eyes. 

So with Virgil developing a raised temperature, he was reluctant to worry his family any more than they already were.

Liam had insisted that they would scan both legs to check that there wasn't anything untoward, he was confident that it wasn't a major problem but Virgil was still being monitored more frequently. His right leg had started to hurt more than usual some hours ago, but Virgil had put it down to tiredness brought on by the trip to the beach.

As he was busy detailing John's hair, the quiet knock on the door stopped him and he looked up as Liam came inside the room.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Fine," Virgil replied as he placed his pad on the bedside table.

"Hmm," Liam said as he approached the bed and lifted Virgil's file to study the charts. "Says here that your temperature is still rising, are you sure there's nothing I should know?"

Virgil half shrugged, he ran his hand over the bed sheets, straightening them to avoid Liam's gaze. "Maybe a little pain, nothing too serious."

"One to ten?"

Virgil gave another half shrug, Liam dropped the charts onto the bed, leaned forward and frowned at him. Virgil rolled his eyes, it wasn’t that bad really. "Between the pain meds, a four."

"Only a four?"

"So far, yes." Virgil replied, he shuffled up to sit higher. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes, as he took a few calming breaths he opened them and dejectedly looked at Liam again. "Do you think it’s an infection?"

"It could be, but I’m sure it’s nothing we can’t treat. Exhaustion is also likely.” Liam supplied as he rechecked Virgil's temperature. "You were on broad spectrum antibiotics after your surgery and your previous blood works since have come back clear, it's possible that they can produce a false negative under antibiotic treatment so we'll test again before giving you anything else."

"I really hope it isn’t," Virgil sighed. That’s all he needed, something else to worry about.

“I’m sure it’s nothing serious, let’s wait and see what the scan shows.”

Virgil nodded as he turned away, his eyes tried to find something else to focus on. "It just feels like it's one thing after another. I finally get hopeful that I'll be back on my feet and then I'm knocked back by something else."

"Let's not jump too far ahead of ourselves," Liam said as he stood and brought the wheelchair over to the bed. "We knew there would be a chance of infection, from either the surgery or from contamination on site; but the possibility of overexertion from your trip to the beach can also raise your temperature."

"Possible, but not likely." Virgil supplied as he worked his way into the chair. “My right leg was pretty mashed up, I hate to think what kind of things got inside whilst I was stuck under that rubble.”

“Speaking to a medic from a rescue organisation about physical injuries and the potential complications is, as I am now discovering, damned difficult.” Liam huffed in amusement. He wheeled Virgil from the room and along the corridor. “Yes, it could be an infection, but your symptoms are mild and until we know more there’s no need to worry right now.”

As they entered the room housing the MRI scanner, Virgil pushed the thoughts to one side. The awkward manoeuvring to get him settled on the scanner bed had been exhausting and he breathed a sigh of relief when he was finally in place. Liam gave him a smile and a final pat on the shoulder before retreating to the enclosed computer room to the side. He was asked if he was ready and he gave a nod, the scan didn't take long and he was soon joined once again by Liam.

"How's it look?" Virgil said as he raised himself up onto his elbows.

"Well, the good news is the left cast can come off." Liam replied as he helped Virgil back to the wheelchair. "But there is an area of inflammation in your right leg, we'll carry out a blood test to confirm which antibiotic would be the most effective. It seems to have developed quite quickly, but I think we've caught it early enough. Depending on the bacterial type, we can start you on a course of antibiotics to clear it up."

Virgil nodded dejectedly. He slumped in his chair as Liam wheeled him back to his room. After Liam had settled him in his bed, they both looked up as a nurse came in wheeling a trolley. Virgil sat quietly as Liam drew blood and then set about removing his cast, the nurse helped and Virgil found himself focusing on their work. The miserable feeling of knowing he now had an infection was pushed aside for now with the anticipation of seeing one of his legs again. 

As the cast peeled away, Virgil allowed a half smile, his leg looked horribly ugly. Lack of use had left it skinnier, lack of sunlight left it pale. The long scar from his surgery reached down two thirds of his leg, starting just below his knee on his left side. It easily stood out and he was hit with the sudden realisation that if this leg looked bad, the right, which had suffered much more damage, must look a lot worse.

"Sorry about the scar," Liam said, breaking Virgil from his thoughts. "It was the smallest we could make it."

"Well, it'll be a conversation starter, that's for sure." Virgil quipped as he wiggled his toes. Liam reached for his foot and lifted his leg in the air.

"Let's just check your range of movement." He pushed Virgil's foot toward him gently as he watched for any expression of pain. It hurt, but the pain wasn't unbearable. Liam continued to manipulate Virgil's leg and when he was satisfied that the leg was healing nicely he let Virgil lower it back to the bed. "Better than I thought it would be."

"Yeah, it feels pretty good." Virgil replied as he started to roll his limb himself. Liam placed his hand on Virgil's leg and he stopped moving it as he looked at Liam.

"Slowly, you've only just taken the cast off."

Virgil nodded his compliance and settled back into the bed, he realised that he was suddenly feeling very tired. Liam released him and helped the nurse gather everything up and load it onto the trolley.

"We'll test this blood, see what we're dealing with. Three hours until dinner, get some rest." Liam smiled warmly at Virgil before turning to the door and leaving with the nurse.

As Virgil let his eyes drift shut, he gave little thought to the mixed feelings that each leg was giving him and let himself sleep.

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

_He scratched at the rock covering his legs, the darkness settling in and swamping him as the pain he felt grew steadily worse. His right leg flared and burned and Virgil couldn't reach it to take that agony away. He laid back and gritted his teeth, hissing through the pain as he shut his eyes. His own self-imposed darkness wasn't as scary as the real darkness. The sounds of falling fragments clicked and thumped around him, dust falling on his face as he turned away to spit it from his mouth. Any moment and it could come down on his head, crushing him completely. He couldn't move out of the way if it did, he'd never see it coming anyway. He heard the thump of a larger fragment landing by his shoulder, a few inches closer and it would have hit his head. Would it have killed him? Was it a large enough piece to do that?_

_His head ached, a warning that sent a shiver down his spine. His leg burned and he wanted desperately to touch it, but it was buried. He was buried. The burning of his leg radiated outward, extending through his whole body. He was too warm._

_He needed to escape, but there was no way to do that. His body decided the easiest option was to black out, so he let it do just that._

Virgil groaned, in his semi-woken state he threw off his covers and tried to roll over. His right leg felt so very heavy and he clumsily rose to push at the rock again but nothing was there. He blinked away the dream and brushed his hand over his sweaty brow, the heat was still there. His reasonable mind said his temperature was too high, his dream filled mind said  _he_  was on fire. He flopped back onto the bed and blindly patted around for the call button, he pushed the button as he contemplated rolling off the too warm mattress and cooling off on the cold, hard floor.

The cold tiles looked inviting.

He rolled over, his body teetering so close to the edge and hands suddenly stopped him from falling. "Easy, Virgil. Call the lab, please? I need those results. Stay in bed, it's okay, come on."

Virgil was too dazed to fight, he flopped onto his back and tipped his head to Liam. "Hot."

"It’s okay." Liam smiled back, he held Virgil down with a gentle arm. "We'll give you something for that now, just lay still for me."

Virgil turned his head to watch as a nurse readied his arm, she pushed the needle in and the sharp sting he expected felt like a hot blade slicing his arm apart. He groaned and tried to pull away but the nurse held firm as Liam reached across him to grasp his limb.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." The nurse said softly, her thumb rubbed at the crook of his elbow. "Almost done. There you go."

The knife disappeared and Virgil sagged, he didn't move as they busied about him and Liam leaned over to study his face.

"The pain relief will make you sleepy, don't fight it." Liam said. After settling everything back in place, he patted Virgil on the shoulder and made to leave.

"Doc," Virgil started and Liam turned back briefly.

Liam came back to the bed, he rested his palms against the mattress and leaned in. "Take it easy, just rest."

Virgil's eyes started to drift shut. His body screamed at him, his temperature too high, his mind clouded and confused. Liam talked to the nurses around him briefly, patted Virgil's shoulder with a warm smile before he turned and left the nurses to help Virgil back to sleep.

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

When Virgil next awoke, the first thing he noticed was how drowsy he was. His body was sticky and uncomfortable with sweat and his eyes felt stuffy and thick, lifting his arm to his head took far too much effort. His mouth was dry and he turned his head and used that same, heavy arm to reach for the glass of water that sat waiting for him. When his uncoordinated hand touched the glass and tried to wrap around it, he found he lacked any strength to grip it. He let his hand fall with a frustrated sigh and stared at the ceiling. 

He quickly drifted off again.

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

_It's too dark and he can't get out, the sounds around him terrify him that more debris will fall. He can't curl up to protect himself, he's sure at least one of his legs are gone. An insect scurried over his cheek and he batted it away, lifted his head to shake any more of them clear. They've been disturbed, they're_ _looking for safety. They won't hurt him, they're just trying to find somewhere small to hide. Like his ears, or his nose and mouth. No, no that's not it, don't think like that. They'd hide under the rocks, somewhere familiar for them. Like the rocks holding his legs down._

_The insects could be swarming over his legs and he wouldn't know, wouldn't be able to get them away as easily as he could around the top half of his body. His breathing came quicker and he tried to sit up, but pain sent him flat again. He tried to squirm his way out once more, irrationally thinking he wasn't pinned that badly but when it felt like he was ripping his leg off below the knee, he screamed in agony and blacked out._

Virgil startled, snapping bolt upright in bed and panted as his inflamed right leg reminded him of it's weakness. He hissed through the pain, eyes shut tight. As the pain ebbed to a dull ache, he continued to breathe through his teeth, this time in irritation.

He wasn't sure if his mind was creating these nightmares or if they were memories coming to the surface, he couldn't remember these events happening and he hadn't been trapped long enough for them all to happen, had he? Maybe it was a little of both, he only hoped the last one was just his overactive imagination. The idea of bugs crawling all over him sent a shudder through his now fully awake body.

His throat was dry so he reached for the glass of water and drank it all, he picked up the jug alongside and refilled, drinking that glass down too. After drinking the water he realised that he needed to use the bathroom and he wasn't prepared to wait for the two glasses he just drank to add to that urgency. He glanced around toward the door and blinked at the crutches resting against the chair by his bed, someone had brought them here whilst he slept. The idea of getting around without the chair set off a little eager flutter in his chest. Awkwardly manoeuvring himself so his leg now touched the floor, he picked them up and unsteadily made his way to the bathroom.

The entire process was so much easier, a brief moment of optimism filled him and he even considered the shower that he needed being that much simpler too. He washed up and headed back out to his room, Virgil was surprised to see Scott stood by his empty bed.

"I leave the room for two minutes," Scott said as he walked toward Virgil and held out a hand to help him along. "And already you're up on your feet and moving around."

"When did you get here?" Virgil said in surprise, he stared wide-eyed as Scott helped him along.

"Four hours ago," Scott replied as he helped Virgil into his bed. "Doctor Thorne called us."

"Four hours? I was asleep that long?"

"Longer than that," Scott said as he pulled up a chair and rested his hand on Virgil's arm. "You developed a fever whilst you slept, they've put you on some strong antibiotics and they kept you under for a while."

"How long?"

"Sixteen hours. I would have been here sooner but we were tied up with a rescue. I dropped the others home so they could sleep but considering what they know about you, I doubt they're doing that. I promised I'd call them when you finally woke up." Scott absently reached with his free hand to rest it on Virgil’s brow. He nodded to himself before he pulled his hand away. “You’re cooler than you have been, so that’s good.”

“Sixteen hours?” Virgil balked.

“Yep.” Scott replied as he pulled the chair closer and ran his thumb gently over Virgil’s wrist. “How do you feel?”

“Confused,” Virgil said. And he was, completely. He was certain that he had only been sleeping for a few hours.

Scott chuckled, “I bet you are. But the good news is the antibiotics are working, between those, the pain killers and the fever it’s no wonder you slept so long.”

“I remember feeling too hot, like I was on fire. Doc came in with a nurse and stuck me with a needle but it’s all pretty hazy after that. It doesn’t feel like I slept for that long.” Virgil had no sense of time within his dreams, they had felt fleeting and mercifully quick that he was grateful he hadn’t experienced them for the entire duration of his unconsciousness. He looked up at Scott and caught the frown before his brother schooled his expression behind a mask of calm.

“Nightmares?”

Virgil turned away again, he wanted to deny them but a night doped on drugs was not an uncommon occurrence to the Tracy household, nightmares were common. Scott hadn’t voiced it but his concern for Virgil’s dreams was noticeable even before he had woken on the beach in a panic in Scott’s arms.

“Nothing I can’t handle,” Virgil said with a half-shrug and a nonchalant twitch of his nose and lip.

Scott was frowning at his words, Virgil guessed this wouldn’t be the end of the prying but his brother seemed content to leave it for now. He gave him a reassuring smile anyway as he patted Scott’s tightened grip on his arm. “It’s the drugs, you know that. Don’t worry, I’m fine.”

Scott nodded but didn’t seem relieved by the comment, he eased his grip and settled back in the chair. “You haven’t woken up since I’ve been here, so it must have been some time ago.”

Virgil hummed acknowledgement, if Scott knew he had woken up because of a nightmare he’d be kicking himself with worry that he wasn’t there to help. He sighed deeply and his stomach chose that moment to protest at its emptiness. Scott patted his arm and stood. “I’ll go and let the doctor know you’re awake, rustle up some food and call home.”

Scott exited the room and Virgil mentally kicked himself for giving away more ammunition to him about his nightmares. His brother had chosen to leave the room, not without reason but even Virgil could tell that he needed a moment to take stock of this new worry. Virgil was irritated by his own weakness, as Scott seemed determined to get to the bottom of this, Virgil had to wonder why he was so desperate to do so. All he wanted to do was leave it be, let the damn dreams figure themselves out but if he couldn’t fix this sooner than later, Scott would force his hand and make him try. Virgil couldn’t work out the reason and talking about it was not an option because, well, how do you tell your brothers, in a family of heroes, that you were scared to death in a dream.

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

The staff came and went, Liam had checked him over thoroughly and seemed happy that Virgil had improved. He picked at his hospital food, eating enough to quell the grumbling stomach but decided that too much more would likely bring it all back up. He offered the fruit cup to Scott and earned a frown of concern from him but his brother took it anyway. 

Scott talked casually about the latest rescue, animated hands giving his words the extra strength about how hazardous it had been. Virgil listened intently, eager to keep himself in the loop on all things International Rescue. His brother was trying to be a distraction, although Virgil didn’t know which of them Scott was trying to distract. Virgil had tried to downplay the nightmares but the idea of him having them still seemed to eat at Scott more than usual. His brother had tried to engage a conversation subtly about them, but Virgil was quick to close that line of enquiry down. As the retelling of the rescue neared its end, Scott sighed and sat back.

“I know you’re here for a little longer, but did you want to come home today? I know it’s short notice but I’m sure the staff won’t have a problem with it. We can manage the meds and Gordon can handle the physiotherapy.” 

Virgil sighed, the offer was inviting but one cast off didn’t instantly make him that much more mobile than he was before. His family was also far too busy to watch over his every movement, which was why he suggested he stay here, out of their way. As appealing as going home was, Virgil was still an invalid in a hectic world. And maybe Virgil’s admission of nightmares had encouraged Scott to press for his early release because he wanted him closer to keep an eye on him, he was unnerved when Virgil let slip about them and going home gave Scott the ability to press him about them more often.

“I’m good here for a few more days, besides, with the infection on top of the legs, I’m better off here until that clears up.” Virgil said with a wave of his hand towards his right leg. The infection was obviously not visible but he hoped that the visual cue would snap Scott out of his concerned need to take him away from the hospital. He wanted Scott to focus on his physical issues and not the ones he tried hard to keep inside his own head.

“I’d prefer to have you home, you know we could manage it.” Scott tried again. If Virgil knew his brother as well as he thought he did, he had no doubt that Scott would speak to Liam behind his back for his professional opinion. He didn’t want Scott to push any more than he was already and once an idea struck, Scott was hard to derail.

“So someone is going to be there to haul me up and down the stairs? We have a lot of stairs, Scott, not easy with these.” Virgil gestured to his legs again. “If you’re out on a rescue, I can’t see Grandma helping me move around, I’m not as small as I used to be.”

“You know that’s extreme, there’s always someone at home. Plenty of people to help you; Brains, Kayo, John’s eight minutes away if there’s a problem. Brains has already designed a few things to help you independently manage the stairs alone.” Scott said, his eagerness still there.

“Oh great,” Virgil grumbled. “That’s all I need, a stair lift.”

“You’re missing the point,” Scott replied as he stood to gain Virgil’s full attention. “You’ve been eager to come home before, what’s changed so much that you’re determined to stay when you’ve got an out?”

Distance, for one thing, Virgil thought. A way to avoid Scott’s need to push for more about the nightmares he didn’t want to talk about. “I didn’t have an infection before.” He supplied weakly.

“A manageable infection,” Scott said. He reached up and ran his hand gently through Virgil’s hair. “I want you home, Virg. We can take care of you, you won’t be in the way, you won’t be a burden.”

Virgil sighed and let his eyes slip shut, Scott was fussing and very little stopped that outside of an argument which Virgil had no intention of starting. He missed being home, that was certain, but he really didn’t want the fuss that would come with it. The hospital stay had been his choice, one to make both his recovery and his family’s lives easier to manage. It wasn’t initially about avoiding the topic of his nightmares but as time moved along, it had become that for him. Unfortunately he didn’t have enough of a counterargument to give, the infection was under control and the hospital had planned to release him in two days after some physiotherapy on his left leg anyway. With another sigh, this one more resigned, he nodded his acceptance. “Fine. If Doc says I’m good to go, then we can go.” 

He opened his eyes in time to see Scott smile gratefully. Virgil raised his finger. “But, if I think you’re all wearing yourselves thin taking care of me, then I have every right to come back, or tell you to shoo or something. I won’t have you all running around after me when you all need to rest too.”

“Then consider yourself the boss at home, whatever you say goes.” Scott said, then he grinned at Virgil. “Within reason.” 

“Duly noted,” Virgil replied. He waved his hand, gesturing to the door. “Of course, it’s all moot if my doctor says no. You’d better go and ask him.”

Scott walked away with a stride that told Virgil his departure from hospital was a done deal, he grumbled to himself at his lack of resolve and hoped it didn’t come back to bite him later.

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

Liam had put up a half-hearted fight to keep Virgil at the hospital, only did he relax when Scott put a call in to Brains and had him convince the doctor that any healthcare was safely in the hands of a professional. Liam wasn’t well versed in the personnel that populated International Rescue, especially considering Brains and his insistence to keep a low profile in all things that would put him under the spotlight. So when Liam had stood wide-eyed as Brains showed just how well versed in Virgil’s medication he was, he quickly relented.

Virgil thought some of it was for show, since Virgil had often mentioned how much his family lived successfully with such independence. The actual display certainly tipped the scales into a category that satisfied Liam’s concerns, that and the well-known fact that International Rescue had some of the most advanced technology that left many envious. So when it came to saying their goodbyes, Liam and Virgil shared a warm handshake, friendly words and promises to meet again under different circumstances whilst Scott took his bags to Thunderbird Two.

Scott thanked the staff for their help, he promised to repay them for their time and care of his little brother once he had got him settled back at home. No doubt John was already arranging something as Scott spoke. A hand fell on his shoulder, Virgil looked up from his wheelchair and returned Liam’s smile.

“I have no doubt that you’re in the best of care, but if ever you need me you’ve got my number.” Liam said as he squeezed Virgil’s shoulder briefly. “It’s been a pleasure, Virgil.”

“Likewise, Doc.”

Scott came close and shook Liam’s hand, spared a few personal words of gratitude before he wheeled Virgil out and away from his temporary home.

When they were inside Thunderbird Two, Virgil made himself comfortable as Scott carried out pre-flight checks. His brother’s methodical movements only made Virgil smile, it wasn’t Thunderbird One but Scott treated her just as reverently as he did his own craft. “Looking a little too comfortable there, big brother. Not trying to take her from me, are you?”

Scott chuckled, “only keeping the chair warm for you, Virg. She’s too slow for my tastes.”

“What did you expect? She’s a lot bigger than your tiny little bird.” Virgil replied playfully, waited for the inevitable backlash.

“I’ll remember that next time my ‘tiny little bird’ has to pull you out of a gravity well, or when she helps you from sinking into the ocean when your pithy thrust can’t keep one little underwater research station from pulling you down.” Scott replied and the genuine pleasantness of the situation filled Virgil with a warm buzz.

“It isn’t all about thrust, you speed freak.” Virgil laughed.

The reverie was broken by the GDF facility calling in to authorise their take off, Scott replied and fired the VTOLs, gently easing Thunderbird Two into the air. As soon as they cleared the ground, Scott had her heading for home.

“We’ll be home in about forty minutes,” Scott said as the skies filled the windows. “Feel free to snooze your way through it. I know these long journeys can be tiring.”

Virgil leaned forward and smacked Scott’s arm, earning an amused laugh from Scott. “Stop poking fun at my ship, she’s saved your hide plenty of times, show a little respect.”

His brother merely laughed and Virgil joined in, he settled back in his seat and counted the minutes even when Scott raised conversation along the way.

Thirty-two minutes later, Alan’s hologram popped up in front of Scott, welcoming them home. Scott greeted him, pulled Thunderbird Two around and brought her in gently for landing. He guided her into the hanger, shut her down and stood. Virgil decided to use the crutches, against Scott’s advice, but he wanted a quick getaway and being in the chair didn’t offer him that. If he stood on shaky legs, with exhaustion weighing him down, his family would shorten their greetings and let him rest.

Of course, Scott picked up on that but didn’t press the choice. He hovered nearby, left the bags on board for now just to make sure he could catch Virgil if his legs or energy ran out. Alan and their Grandma approached them, the youngest brother bouncing over with energetic strides and a more reserved pace of the elder Tracy following behind.

Alan gave Virgil a relaxed hug around his waist, mindful of his balance on the crutches. Virgil leaned his weight on his left leg and crutch and gave Alan a half-embrace with his right arm briefly. “Hey, Alan.”

Alan pulled away and smiled. “About time you came home.”

Grandma stepped forward and ruffled Alan’s hair, he took the cue and made a space for her. She moved closer and cupped his face, the thumb stroking his cheek as she smiled at him. “Welcome home, Virgil.”

“It’s good to be home,” he replied. And it was. 

She dipped his head and leaned up to kiss his brow, he groaned a playful protest and she chuckled in response. “You look tired and you shouldn’t be on your feet, let’s get you upstairs. Alan, go get his bags, would you?”

Alan nodded and moved behind Virgil, out of sight. Scott and Grandma kept close as he hobbled toward the elevator that led straight to the lounge. He was grateful for that small mercy, at least. By the time he made it to the couch, Scott had to use his strength to stop Virgil from collapsing onto it. 

He was too exhausted to complain about the attention; the comforting pillow and blanket Grandma brought to him urged him to close his eyes and sleep. Scott shook him gently before he was pulled under completely and gestured to his hand. “Meds first.”

The painkillers were tablets, but the antibiotics required injections. He swallowed the pills down with water and let Scott administer the injection. He leaned back and closed his eyes, too tired to worry about anything for now, including the anxiety that he felt that sleeping would make him dream.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is following this story and taking the time out to read it, I really appreciate it. I'm so sorry that each chapter takes so long to arrive, most of the time I'm worrying about how well the chapter will be received and then end up rewriting the thing entirely until I'm happy with it. Thank you for sticking around for each new chapter. :)
> 
> And a special thank you to Thesilentone for reviewing, you are so wonderfully vibrant with your reviews that it makes my day, thank you. :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Thunderbirds, I'm only borrowing them for a little while.

Chapter 5.

 

To say that Scott was exhausted would be an understatement. Running ragged from one rescue to another and worrying for Virgil whilst trying his hardest to keep his questions at bay, Scott could feel the strain building each day. Virgil’s return home was welcomed by all, even Virgil himself, but his brother was far from fine. The infection was under control, he was one cast free and had gained a small amount of mobility from that freedom, but he still seemed withdrawn.  
Scott knew that his brother would take all the time he needed to heal, he wouldn’t rush his own recovery no matter how much he wanted to. Virgil knew his boundaries and the risk to both himself and everyone else if he chose to push them too far, but a Tracy didn’t like restraint of the injured variety and Virgil had already shown signs of being very irritable.

His physical injuries only added to the problems that his family couldn’t visibly see, only Virgil could and he was keeping very quiet about that aspect.  
Scott sighed heavily and scrubbed the soap from his hair a little too hard, he tipped his face up into the falling spray of the shower and let it hit his face for a moment before withdrawing to turn and let the harsh power of the water hit his aching back. 

They had returned home and Scott had learned that Gordon was called away to a fishing trawler taking on water nearby, lucky for them since Scott had taken Thunderbird Two to see – and retrieve – Virgil. After the fact, Scott had considered it fortunate that they were not further away; with Thunderbird Two out of reach, Gordon may not have been able to render assistance. 

After they had settled Virgil onto the couch, Scott had slumped in a nearby chair and had fallen asleep, he couldn’t remember when he had closed his eyes. He had woken up two hours later, stretched and sighed quietly so that he didn’t wake his brother, pulled at the blanket that someone had draped over him just as his Grandma approached with a whispered order that he get cleaned up.

He turned off the shower and stepped out, wrapped a towel around his waist and decided that now he had slept and showered, he could do with some late lunch.  
With the shower now off he could hear increasingly loud voices, forgoing his clothes he walked out of his room and headed for the lounge.  
“It was reckless and dangerous,” John said and Scott picked up his pace.

“I had it under control,” Gordon countered. “And you can’t complain, you took control and held Four there whilst I patched up the hole.”  
“Only because you didn’t give me a choice!” John snapped, his voice carried louder than before. “Controlling any of the ships from space is tentative at best, I only have computer displays to show me what they’re doing, it’s not a compromise for straight line of sight. I could have crushed you!”

Scott reached the bottom of the stairs and looked at his brothers, they were both still in uniform and it was apparent that John had come down from Thunderbird Five in the Space Elevator determined to have this argument with Gordon personally. He spared a glance over to the couch that Virgil was still asleep on but if the conversation grew any louder that wouldn’t remain the case.

“Guys,” Scott said, one hand on his towel and the other reached between them. “Hey, calm down. You’ll wake Virgil.”

They continued on as if Scott wasn’t even there.

“Don’t be so dramatic, it wasn’t even that close. Twenty minutes tops and I had enough room to move if something went wrong.” Gordon replied. He crossed his arms and turned away from John’s pointed finger.

“Do you have any idea of all the variables that could have affected my control of Thunderbird Four? You can’t just jump out in those conditions and expect me to remotely operate a craft in close proximity to another that’s taking on water. It could have ended catastrophically.”

Scott didn’t like the sound of the emerging picture of events, he remembered how choppy the waters had been when he brought Thunderbird Two in for landing on the island, if John had to remotely pilot Four under those conditions he could understand his anger. Gordon had made a decision and without all the facts Scott couldn’t question his choices out in the field, but John had monitored and participated in the rescue and had made his own determinations. He didn’t agree with Gordon.

“Okay, if you’re going to debrief do it somewhere else, Virgil doesn’t need to be woken up by you two arguing.” Scott said firmly. He pushed first John then Gordon by the shoulder as he kept one hand on his towel, they both spared a glance to their sleeping brother before taking the stairs to the kitchen.

“Sit,” Scott commanded as he secured his towel tighter and headed for the counter. “I’m hungry, so whilst I make lunch for us all, you two start from the top and fill me in.”

“You’ll take his side anyway, so what’s the point?” John muttered. Scott turned and frowned, John had slumped on the stool with his arms crossed. He looked petulant, almost childish in his pose and remark, but Scott knew it was more to do with his concern for his brother. Gordon had taken a risk that had worried John and his responses showed that.  
“And why would I do that?” Scott replied as he started work on the sandwiches.

“Because you and Gordon are both the same, you’re reckless. If Virgil was here listening in, he’d agree with me that Gordon took too much of a risk this time.”  
The mention of Virgil only highlighted his absence, John was right, if he was here he would have something to say about the risks Gordon had taken. It wasn't long ago that Virgil had lectured Scott for taking unnecessary risks himself.

“And if Virgil was here right now, he would have been on the rescue and had control of Thunderbird Four and holding her under your stupid ‘line of sight’ argument.” Gordon countered.

Scott agreed with that assessment as well, Virgil would have been there to help Gordon, no matter how local and how easy Thunderbird Four could have reached the rescue site alone. But talking about things that hadn't happened was futile, he needed them to discuss and resolve this issue rationally.

“Okay, enough. Just stick to the facts and tell me about the rescue.” Scott said, he gestured to Gordon first with a nod and wave of his hand.

“Fine,” Gordon replied. “The trawler was taking on water, I couldn’t tow her to shore, she was filling too fast and listing, she would’ve been under before we made it. I decided that I could seal the hole but it would take longer than she had left afloat so I opted to keep her up with Thunderbird Four.”

“Good luck explaining the scratches on her hull to Brains.” John muttered under his breath.

“Couldn’t you have just evacuated the crew?” Scott replied as he ignored John’s comment. He brought over the first batch of sandwiches and placed them on the table, he turned back to the counter to continue making more.

“Yes,” Gordon said. “But it’s the only boat they have, if they lost her they wouldn’t be able to work. I said I’d do everything I could to help them and I did.”

"They can replace a boat, Gordon, we can't replace you." John snapped back. "What possessed you to think their boat was worth that risk?"

"You can't sit there and tell me about risks, how many times have you put your life on the line for the job?" Gordon pointed at John, his anger clear on his face.

"Not for a damn boat!" John snapped back.

"Both of you, enough." Scott replied as he spun around, his short nap earlier suddenly was not enough for him to deal with this. He turned back to the counter when he heard a familiar sound, he looked to the stairs and rushed for them. "Virgil, what are you doing?"

Virgil huffed as he struggled, one crutch supporting his right leg and far too much weight placed on his left as he stepped slowly down the stairs gripping the rail. Scott heard both John and Gordon behind him, Scott took Virgil's left side and most of his weight, Gordon took the other as John pulled the crutch away. Between them, they practically lifted Virgil and carried him the rest of the way, placed him on a stool and stared at him in bewilderment.

"What do you think you were doing?" Scott demanded in astonishment.

Virgil shrugged. "Hard to sleep with all the noise."

"Then you should have called us, not try to come down the stairs alone." Scott complained as he glanced at Virgil's legs. It wasn't ideal to have him sitting on a stool but the only other option was to lower him to the floor. Either that or drag a more suitable chair into the kitchen. Scott didn't bother with that idea because Virgil would be going back up to the lounge, even if Scott had to carry him there himself.

“I didn’t think anyone would hear me,” Virgil replied with a shrug. “Are any of those for me?” He gestured to the food on the table. Scott pushed them closer to him but didn’t relent on his reprimand.

“Stairs are not a solo option for you right now, what would happen if you fell when no one was there to see it happen?”

“I’m fairly certain that the noise would draw attention,” Virgil replied as he snagged a sandwich and proceeded to bite into it. “Besides, I doubt you’d be far away anyway.”

Scott huffed. “I’m not sure if I should be offended or amused. You’ve just got out of hospital, did you expect me to sit around and leave you alone when you can barely get around on your own?”

“I managed half way,” Virgil countered with a half shrug.

“What is it with everyone being so defensive today?” Scott replied with a frustrated raise of his hands. “Look, just call someone before you try next time, all right? The last thing I want to do is put you in your room and make sure you stay there.”

Virgil blinked at him and Scott had to sigh at his own comment, he sounded more and more like a parent every day. “I’m going to go and change into something more practical, can I trust you two to keep the arguments for later and keep an eye on Virgil?”

He ignored the dropped jaw and disgruntled complaint from his wounded brother and glanced between the remaining two.

“I need to shower anyway,” Gordon said as he stood and rounded the table. He patted Virgil’s shoulder before he squeezed it firmly. “Good to have you home, Virg. Don’t eat it all, save something for me.”

Virgil nodded in response, he patted his brother’s hand and Gordon hopped up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. Scott followed soon after, leaving Virgil and John to talk quietly as they ate.

He took his time dressing, allowing Gordon enough time to finish his shower. Scott knew that Virgil would be hearing about the rescue from John, so that left Scott to talk to Gordon. He knocked quietly on the door to his brother’s room, the muffled reply offered entry and Scott walked in.

“Feel better?” He said as he approached Gordon and leaned against his dresser with his hip.

“Much,” Gordon replied as he towelled his hair, he had his game face on but Scott crossed his arms and gave his best unimpressed look. Gordon sighed and shrugged his shoulder, dropped the towel over the back of his chair and moved to sit on his bed. “You look exactly like Dad when you do that.”

“If it works, I’ll use it.” Scott agreed mildly. “Like now. Did you take too much of a risk today?”

“You know I wouldn’t take it too far, I’m not suicidal. It was doable, Scott, I had it under control.”

“John didn’t agree.”

“John’s jumpy as hell, he’s been like that since Virgil got hurt. I didn’t mean to scare him but he overreacted, I handled it, their boat is safe, everyone got out alive, so I think we can add it to the list of successful missions.” Gordon replied. He stood and walked back to stand in front of Scott. “You would have done the same thing.”

“Maybe,” Scott nodded. “But John-“

“If you’re going to pull the age card on me, you can stop right there.”

Scott held up his hands. “I was, but not the way you’re thinking. I’m not saying you did the wrong thing, because if it were me I’d more than likely have done the same thing. But John’s reaction is only because he’s worried, he’s seen one little brother get hurt and he didn’t want to see another. You’re a big brother, you know how you’d feel if it were Alan.”  
Gordon opened his mouth to reply but Scott cut him off before he could. “It applies to older brothers too.” He pushed away from the dresser and wrapped his arm around Gordon’s shoulders, tugged gently until his brother was close to his side. “Throwing yourself into the job isn’t going to make you feel better, you know. Talking about it helps more.”

Gordon sighed and dipped his head. “I’m fine, Scott.”

Scott knew it wasn’t true, Gordon had had nightmares of Virgil falling and if Scott had been there, he’d be trying to make up for his perceived failure by saving as many people as he could too. Gordon was trying to ease his own mind even if everyone else knew there was nothing he could have done. Scott didn’t press him any further, he released his brother and ruffled his damp hair.

“You know where to find me if it’s not.” Scott replied warmly. “Come on, let’s go eat.”

They headed back to the kitchen, as they reached the bottom of the stairs, Virgil was reaching for a sandwich and John was making coffee, the pile on the table was bigger which meant that John had finished the second batch that Scott had started whilst he had been upstairs. There were still plenty of sandwiches left and Virgil pushed the tray toward Gordon as the younger sibling sat opposite him. Scott offered his help but John waved him off, he sat alongside Virgil and helped himself to a sandwich. John soon joined them and they remained quiet as they ate, the coffee was delicious and Scott welcomed the caffeine.

“Where’s Alan?” Virgil said, breaking the silence.

“Grandma asked him to clean his room, he suddenly had the urge to do some endurance training with Kayo, which she has happily obliged.” John answered with a smile around the rim of his cup.

“He’s going to wish he’d opted for cleaning his room,” Gordon laughed.

Scott stood and headed to the counter, he started to make more sandwiches for when Alan and Kayo returned, they’d no doubt be hungry and with how many the rest of them were eating there wouldn’t be many left.

“How long have they been gone?” Gordon asked between bites of the last sandwich.

“Not long after Virgil got home, so if she’s feeling generous, they’ll be back soon.” John replied.

“Speaking of activity, when do you want to start, Virg?”

Scott turned and watched Virgil brighten, he smiled and nodded. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“Cool, how about now?” Gordon replied as he stood. “I’ll go get your swimming shorts, Scott’ll have kittens if we try to get to your room.”

“Hey!” Scott swiped for Gordon’s head as he dashed by, his younger brother laughed as he ducked beneath the swing. As Gordon disappeared, Scott spared a glance at his remaining brothers, John looked amused at the behaviour and he knew then that Virgil had spoken with him in the same way as Scott had with Gordon. It was nice, he thought immediately, to have his wingman back, even if it was in a reduced capacity.

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

The weather was beautiful, the sun shining down on their home and a cooling breeze taking the bulk of the heat with it. Perfect conditions to lounge around by the pool during a quiet time that is so often rare these days. Scott sat by the pool, his legs over the edge and immersed in the water. He watched his brothers as Gordon eased his older brother through gentle exercises, but judging by Virgil’s face, they weren’t as gentle for him.

Virgil had grumbled in embarrassment at the dry cast used to protect his right leg, he had grumbled at the embarrassment of having his brother help him change into his shorts. Now he grumbled at the strain of the therapy and his inability to do the most menial of commands.

“I can’t do it,” Virgil huffed, he tried to turn himself around and push himself out of the water.

“Sure you can,” Gordon replied and effortlessly held Virgil in place. “This is the first session, your leg has to learn to do things it hasn’t done in a while. You’re doing great, just keep at it a little longer then we’ll stop for today.”

Virgil just pouted at him, looking all the more irritable. Gordon shrugged.

“Tell you what, how about you have a short break, I’ll swim some laps and then we’ll finish off the set and call it a day.”

Virgil nodded and Gordon pushed off and away, cutting through the water with ease. Scott took the opportunity to shuffle closer to Virgil, his brother simply leaned back and rested his head on the ledge and closed his eyes. He must have heard Scott approach.

“He’s a monster,” he groaned.

Scott chuckled and ran his hand through Virgil’s wet hair. “In more ways than one, but this time he’s a monster of the good variety. He’s putting you through your paces for a reason, it’s not comfortable but the end result is worth the pain.”

“Right now it doesn’t feel like it,” Virgil huffed, he squinted one eye open to study his brother. “You’re my moral support, make him stop.”

“That kinda defeats the purpose of the therapy.” Scott replied. He pulled his arm back and dropped into the water, Virgil lifted his head to watch him. “Bet the hospital didn’t have as nice a pool as this one.”

“I doubt it,” Virgil agreed. “Better food here too.”

“Glad to be home?”

“Yeah,” Virgil sighed, he dipped his head back again. “Too many walls, I missed the open air.”

“I noticed that, you looked really happy at the beach.” Scott said as he tread water gently. “You were exhausted with all the excitement.”

Virgil sighed. “Don’t, Scott.”

“Don’t what?” Scott replied as he glided toward the edge to lean against it.

“You think you’re being subtle, but you’re not.”

“I’m not trying to be subtle, we’re just talking.” Scott supplied, he glanced over to see Gordon watching between breaths and strokes. He gave his swimming brother the most reassuring look he had and returned his attention to Virgil. 

“You’re trying to ascertain if I’m all right, and maybe get me to talk about my nightmares. That’s what you’re thinking of doing.” Virgil said.

Scott shrugged. “If it came up in conversation then yes, I’d talk with you about it. But I certainly wasn’t leading it that way, you’re the one bringing the idea up right now.”

“And I’m the one ending that train of thought right now, too.”

Any conversation regarding the nightmares was closed down quickly, Virgil always woke shaken from them but soon turned inward, it seemed to Scott that his brother was more irritated with his reactions to the nightmares after the initial shock subsided. He couldn’t understand why his brother didn’t trust him enough to talk about them, but as Gordon had proved earlier, he wasn’t the only one with that mentality.

“So far all we’ve discussed since I’ve been home is me, how about we find something else to talk about?” Virgil lifted his head and turned, he leaned one arm on the ledge to face Scott. His other hand came up to rest on the edge for extra support.

Knowing that yet another attempt would lead nowhere, Scott decided to pick his battles and accommodate his brother. “Okay. Well, it’s lovely weather we’re having today, huh?”  
Virgil blinked at him, taken aback with the complete change of topic. Scott merely smirked at him.

“You’re an idiot,” Virgil chuckled with a shake of his head, he flicked his hand that rested against the ledge and splashed Scott point blank in the face. Scott spluttered and returned the favour, he pushed away from the wall to gain distance and kicked his legs to shower Virgil on his way.

“Hey!” Virgil laughed, he covered his face with his arm in a weak defence. 

Scott grinned, pleased to see his brother smiling and laughing. He turned in time to catch sight of Gordon just before his brother gripped his shoulders and leaned his weight down to push him under. Gordon detached immediately and headed to Virgil, the two faced him as he surfaced and protested playfully. Gordon held out his hand and high-fived Virgil.

“Can’t have you taking advantage of the wounded, Scott.” Gordon said with a wag of his finger. “Very unsportsmanlike.”

Scott shook his head and leaned back, swimming away and to the other side of the pool. “Two against one, must mean it’s my time to leave. Enjoy the rest of the therapy, Virg.”  
He heard Virgil grumbling as he hoisted himself from the pool and grabbed his towel. 

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

Scott was woken from his sleep by a heavy thump, he sat up and pushed away his blankets, headed for his door and to the room next door. He knocked gently but received no reply.

“Virgil? You okay in there?”

“I’m fine, go back to bed.” Came the reply. Scott frowned and pushed the door open, ignoring his brother’s curt dismissal. When he caught sight of his brother in the dark, he could see him sat on the floor with his back against his bedside table. Scott rushed to his side, crouching down and holding out his hands.

“I said I’m fine,” Virgil huffed, he swatted Scott’s hands away. “Leave me alone.”

“You fell out of bed,” Scott said with a shake of his head. “I’m not leaving you on the floor, let me help you up.”

“No,” Virgil tried to twist away but Scott gripped his arms and heaved him up and dropped him on the edge of his bed. Virgil, despite his refusal, assisted and used his own effort to lift himself from the floor. “Happy now?”

Scott sighed heavily and Virgil gave him an indignant look, he stepped back and left Virgil to clamber under his sheets himself. “You haven’t fallen out of bed since you were little, so I’m going to go out on a limb here and say you had a nightmare.”

Virgil shuffled around and looked anywhere but at Scott, he sat on the edge of the bed to give his brother less chance to avoid him.

“Virg, you need to talk about this, it isn’t like you to hide away from us.”

“It’s just a nightmare, nothing to worry about.” Virgil countered, he ran his hand through his hair and the faint light of the moon through the window showed the sheen of sweat on his brother’s brow.

“Come on, I don’t like seeing you like this.” Scott tried again, it was starting to concern him that Virgil seemed to be so adamant to keep this all inside on his own. “Give me something to work with here, I’m not asking for everything, just please try.”

Virgil looked at him, his breathing heavier than it should be this time of the night when sleeping should be calm and rested. He closed his eyes and sighed, his shoulders drooped. Scott watched as he took a deep breath, ready to speak but nothing came out. After a few tries, it seemed that Virgil was finally composed enough to talk. He looked up to the ceiling, puffed out a breath and then dropped his head to face Scott.

“They’re all slightly different, but sometimes the same one happens again. But they’re all about the cave, all about the rubble holding me down.” Virgil said, his voice quiet.

“Okay,” Scott said gently, he shuffled on the bed to turn himself straighter to his brother.

Virgil nodded, he looked lighter from the simple admission but Scott knew that he would be hiding more than revealing tonight.

“I don’t know why I’m dreaming it all the time, I don’t know what it means. And I don’t want to talk about it until I know myself what’s going on.” Virgil said, he stared at Scott with furrowed brows. “So I’ve opened up, I’ve given you something, so will you leave it at that for now, please?”

The last word was a plea, one Scott took as the finality of Virgil’s willingness to talk. He nodded his head and reached out to squeeze his brother’s wrist once before he let go. He stood with a smile, walked to the door and turned with his hand on the handle.

“Whenever you’re ready, little brother.”

“When I’m ready,” Virgil agreed, although he didn’t seem comfortable with the idea. “Thanks for helping me back into bed. Goodnight, Scott.”

“Anytime. Night, Virg.” Scott closed the door and leaned back against it, he puffed out a heavy breath then pushed away and headed back to his own bed.

It was a start, a small opening but one that Scott would accept gratefully. Virgil’s admission wasn’t too far from the thoughts that Scott had had of his brother’s dreams but it was still too little to work with. Something about the cave and Virgil’s situation was causing his brother to suffer after the actual incident had come and gone, something that even Virgil wasn’t aware of. He tried to think of anything that could be causing these dreams, but nothing would come easily. He made it his mission to research what he could, to find something that would help solve his brother’s problems. But for now he needed to sleep, he settled under his covers, kept his ears tuned to his brother’s room for any signs of distress. Unsurprisingly, Scott’s night was filled with restless sleep.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm not sure what I did wrong but I had to put spaces throughout the entire chapter when I copied and pasted, so if any of them aren't spaced properly I'm really sorry. I'm not sure what I did, but I can't remember having to do that last time.
> 
> Hopefully I haven't missed any, apologies if I did. >_<
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read my story so far, I really appreciate it :)
> 
> A massive thank you to Thesilentone, your comments, as always, make me smile. I can't thank you enough, you are awesome :)
> 
> And a huge thank you to Cordetta, I really appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment, it means so much, thank you :)
> 
> A slightly shorter chapter this time, but a quicker update. I'm shocked that I actually managed to do that.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Thunderbirds, I'm only borrowing them.

Chapter 6.

 

John floated with his eyes darting between the many displays surrounding him, the sound of his brother’s heavy pants were hard to ignore and he kept his eyes keenly focused on as much as he could. Scott grunted as he no doubt landed oddly, the scuffling noises told him his brother was still moving, but no it was compensation for his own eyes and he cursed his lack of view. Scott sounded winded but fine, the graphics only showed the layout of the building and surrounding area, and the positioning of Scott in the air, Alan on the ground and Gordon in Thunderbird Two. It was a visual feed that was detailed but lacking the reality he desperately wanted to see.

 

“Scott, the structural integrity of that building is decaying, it won’t last much longer.” John said urgently.

 

_“I know, I’m working on it.”_ Scott replied, voice strained. _“I just need a few more minutes.”_

“You don’t have a few minutes, you have to get out now.” It didn’t matter how many emergencies went by, this part was never easy. Sometimes John hated being so far away, it was both frustrating and painful.

 

_“I only have one more to go, I’m strapping the harness to him now.”_ Scott replied, his voice loud over the cacophony all around him.

John frowned at the displays and he mentally calculated the angle of the imminent collapse, the spread of debris and how close his older and youngest brother would be to the fall. There was a sudden shift in one of the corner support beams that had him recalculating, he realised quickly that Alan and the ground evacuation would be in the way.

 

“Alan, the north-west support column is buckling, you need to move to the north-east corner of the building as soon as you can, then clear the area.”

 

_“FAB, John, we’re down to the last few people, we’re moving away now.”_ Where the background sounds for Scott was of a building crumbling, Alan’s was filled with the panicked cries of the people around him.

“Good, move fast. Scott, are you clear?”

 

_“Not yet, Thunderbird Five, Gordon’s lifting him now but he’s not clear of the side of the building.”_

“Understood. Gordon, can you go any faster? This building is going at any moment.”

 

_“I’ll take Thunderbird Two higher and try to steer clear, our guy won’t like it but that’ll cut the time down. Scott, you might want to move.”_ John didn’t like the sound of that, but if the man they were saving wanted to complain about _how_ his life was saved, he had no doubt Scott would have a differing opinion and would be more than happy to share.

_“Clearing the area now.”_ Scott said, the relief was clear in his tone.

John watched as Scott’s indicator showed him moving away and not a moment too soon, the building lurched, plunged down and tilted quickly to its side. The tinny sound of the building breaking up in its collapse did nothing to dull the intensity of its destruction. John frantically scanned his displays and made sure that his family weren’t in danger, all three signatures were safely clear.

 

_“Everyone okay?”_ Scott said and John waited for the replies.

 

_“Yeah, we’re clear. The ground crews are dealing with a few minor injuries but everyone is safe and accounted for.”_ Alan responded, the display showed Scott was moving towards him.

 

_“All passengers are secured, I’m bringing Two down for them to disembark and I’ll hand them over to the medics for a check up.”_ Gordon answered and John watched as Thunderbird Two’s altitude lowered gently.

 

If John had a chair, he’d be leaning back in it and breathing out heavily, instead all he did was float.

 

“Am I allowed to talk now?”

 

“I never said you couldn’t, EOS,” John replied as he turned to face the camera that swivelled around his head.

 

“No, you didn’t,” EOS replied. “But it was clear that you preferred as few distractions as possible and as my technical abilities were not required, I assumed my interaction would be unwanted.”

 

“Don’t ever assume I would want you quiet, if you think there’s something I’m missing, I’d want you to let me know.” John reached his arm up and used the camera to push himself away, the inertia driving him toward the first hatch, he glided through as it opened for him. He pulled on the rails placed every few feet until he glided through the second set of doors to the gravity ring. EOS followed and the ring began to rotate, John dropped gently to his feet and walked along until he reached the coffee maker.

 

“That would be your fourth coffee in the last two hours, too much caffeine is unhealthy.” EOS said as her camera spun around his head once again.

 

“Thank you, EOS.” John replied irritably. “I’m aware of that.”

 

_“Thunderbird Five? Thunderbird Two is on her way home, I’m sticking around a little longer to liaise with the GDF, they’re under the impression this wasn’t an accident.”_ The repressed anger in his brother’s voice would be hard to notice by anyone other than the family who grew up with him.

“FAB, Scott. What’s your ETA?”

 

_“I’m not sure right now, I’ll keep you posted.”_

“FAB, Thunderbird One.” John sighed and reached for the hot coffee that appeared behind the hatch, he raised it to his lips and sipped cautiously.

 

The GDF had been suspecting more and more cases of deliberate destruction lately, each case had required the services of International Rescue and it unnerved John to think that his family were heading directly into them without knowing until after the fact that it had been sabotage. Scott made it his mission to assess every potential rescue, John made it his to find out as much as he could before they arrived to the site. It didn’t seem to stop and it didn’t help that both he and Scott were distracted by their brother.

 

Scott hadn’t admitted it, but the man was wearing himself thin, too thin for John to keep up. But if John had to speak truthfully, he was doing the same. Virgil played on his mind a great deal, he was home now and safe, but his recovery was long and arduous. It didn’t help that John still struggled to cope with the memories of the day he heard his brother fall, the sounds of his brother screaming in pain and fear. He wasn’t plagued with nightmares like Virgil and Gordon, but he found it difficult to focus and often let his mind drift to the memories. He could still do his job, because he didn’t have a choice and he’d been doing this long enough to be able to push it aside until the job was done. Keeping himself busy was the only thing he could do.

 

_“John? You there?”_

John jolted from his thoughts and reached for his communicator, “Virgil, everything okay?”

 

_“Yeah, just been listening in. You went quiet pretty quick, just wanted to make sure you’re all right up there.”_

“You know me, always busy.” John replied lightly. He walked toward the nearest display and tapped the screen, Virgil’s face popped up. His brother smiled upon seeing him.

 

_“Looks like it,” Virgil answered with a grin and a point to John’s coffee mug._

 

“A short break,” John said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Making the most of it before the next rescue comes in.”

 

_“That sounds a little pessimistic,”_ Virgil frowned.

 

“It’s realistic,” John shrugged. “And you know that it’s true, lately that’s all we’ve been doing.”

 

_“I wouldn’t know,”_ Virgil’s face fell. _“I’m grounded with busted legs.”_

“You’ll be back out there soon enough, then you’ll be wishing you weren’t.” John tried to give Virgil a reassuring smile but his brother had lowered his head. “Hey, you sure you’re all right?”

 

_“Yeah, not much I can do about it anyway. Just have to wait and keep letting Gordon abuse me in the name of therapy.”_ Virgil looked up again.

John huffed a laugh at that. “And how’s that working out? Aside from the demon squid taking delight in your suffering.”

 

_“He’s certainly doing that, but I can’t argue with his methods. They’re working like a charm, gruelling, but my leg is definitely much better than before. The only problem is that he’s going to do this all over again with my other leg when the cast comes off.”_

 

“And when is that, exactly?” John sipped his coffee again.

 

_“Brains is going to take a look at the end of the week, but he thinks it would be no more than two weeks, if the scan looks good, maybe less.”_ Virgil smiled at that.

 

John nodded and smiled too. “Good. And the infection?”

 

_“Two more days of antibiotics, thankfully.”_ Virgil rubbed his arm gently. _“I’m about done being a pincushion.”_

“A medic who doesn’t like needles,” John replied with a smirk.

_“I don’t mind needles, just prefer giving them than being on the receiving end of one, or many as the case may be.”_ Virgil chuckled.

 

John nodded in understanding, he swallowed the rest of his coffee and walked the short distance back to the coffee maker, a hatch slid open beneath it and he placed the mug inside. It closed as he turned back to the display. “At the risk of souring the conversation, how are you sleeping?”

 

_“Fine,”_ Virgil shrugged, he watched as John raised an eyebrow and then Virgil puffed out a breath. _“Not you too.”_ He grumbled.

 

“It’s a simple question,” John said with his own shrug.

 

_“It’s a loaded question, and you know it.”_ Virgil replied, his face dropping into a frown.

 

“You’ve been forthcoming with everything else, I thought I’d try my luck.”

 

_“I don’t want to talk about it,”_ Virgil crossed his arms and John recognised the closed off gesture, his brother wasn’t going to divulge anything.

 

“Then we won’t,” John held his hands up placatingly. “It was worth a shot.”

 

_“I swear, you’re all taking turns at this. It’s exhausting.”_ Virgil shook his head.

 

“You know why we’re doing it, Virgil.”

 

_“Yeah, I do.”_ Virgil’s eyes slipped closed, his head dipped as his hand came up and carded through his hair.

“It’s not like you to close up like this and if there’s anyone you’d talk to, it would be Scott. He’s just as confused about that as you are about your nightmares. He wants to help, we all do.” John said softly, he contemplated going down there and sitting with his brother whilst they waited for everyone to arrive home.

 

_“I just…I need some time to think, I told Scott I’d talk if I couldn’t figure it out on my own and I will.”_ Virgil met John’s eyes again and the determination he saw proved that Virgil meant it.

 

“Okay,” John nodded. “If that’s what you want to do.”

 

_“It is,”_ Virgil replied with a single, soft nod. He straightened and rolled his shoulders, a strained groan escaped. _“I’ll be glad to get rid of the crutches, they’re wreaking havoc on my shoulders.”_

John noticed how his brother chose to resume the conversation, focusing once again on his physical recovery. He’d let him get away with it, because realistically he wasn’t going to win if he tried, he only hoped that Scott would have better luck as time went on to get Virgil to talk.

 

“Like you said, it won’t be for much longer.”

 

_“Yeah, the sooner the better.”_ Virgil agreed. He glanced to his left then back to John. _“I gotta go, Brains is here to poke me with needles again.”_

 

John huffed a laugh and smiled, he nodded as Virgil waved and his image faded and blinked out.

 

John relaxed and walked toward the bench along the side wall, he sat gently and bent to watch the islands and oceans roll past, the ring taking him full circle to see the stars.

 

Seeing his brother healing was both a comfort and a curse. On the one hand, Virgil's convalescence helped John face his own demons, but they also helped to highlight those same demons when he'd rather not have to try. He had his own healing to do, which would take time. He still couldn't quell the instinct to worry excessively, especially when the job was different for them than for him. They were on the ground, assessing from a unique point of view that he didn't have, he only had his displays and numbers to work with. They saw the job differently, which was the reason Gordon was so defensive the other day over the fishing trawler. John couldn't understand the need to try and save the boat, the numbers proved it better to leave it behind and save the crew. Gordon had taken the decision to save the boat, to put his life at risk for an inanimate object.

 

John understood why and his brother had made his reasoning clear, but he couldn’t decide if Gordon had made the right decision or not. It could have gone wrong, like it had for Virgil but they were lucky it hadn't this time. Virgil’s incident had been a game changer, at least for John. It was inanimate objects that got Virgil in trouble in the first place, going back for something that could have easily been left behind.

 

The cave was relatively stable but they braced it anyway, sending Virgil back for the support struts was a risk but one that none of them considered too great, even John with his numbers and readouts couldn’t see a reason not to. Virgil himself had told Gordon to stay outside, a precaution he took often for his younger brother whenever they teamed together. He was an older brother too, after all.

 

_"Virgil, I'm picking up seismic activity, you need to get out of there, now!"_

He should have seen it sooner, should have warned him far quicker than he had. John only managed to send Virgil that single warning before his displays flashed urgently and red lights littered his eyes, his breathing had quickened and the last he heard was the panicked cry as the bio signature of his younger brother dropped and disappeared.

_"John, do you have him?"_

No, he hadn't. He'd lost his signal and communications, he couldn't tell how far down Virgil had fallen, or if he was alive. And he had to tell Scott exactly that, knowing well enough that Gordon would hear it too.

 

_"No, nothing. There's nothing."_

John's own voice was small and his hands shook until he clenched them tightly into fists at his sides.

 

_"Find him, Thunderbird Five."_

Scott could tell he was cracking, he knew that by the simple words Scott replied so firmly with. The command left no room for emotion, get it together, that's what Scott had meant and John threw himself into it. He'd find him.

 

The open channel had left him able to hear Scott and Gordon talking, a distant sound that his mind had paid little attention to. Gordon's signal had been close to Virgil's, whatever he had seen had been enough to rattle him and, from the odd few words that John allowed himself to hear, Scott was working to get him focused on the task at hand.

 

John's hands had whirled in the air, system after system scoured until he could find a way to pinpoint Virgil's location. His brothers had started to tunnel through, easing their way slowly even without knowing where they should go. It took twenty minutes for Virgil's signal to appear, but that was all he had, the bio readings were still blank.

 

_"I've got him, sending the co-ordinates now."_

He didn't wait for a response, he needed to get the communications working. There had to be a way, something that would tell them he was still alive. The faintest of signal meant that his brother's equipment was still working, which meant John could get more from it. He worked frantically, boosted every receiver that Thunderbird Five had to give him something more to reach Virgil with.

 

Thirty-six minutes later and John stiffened at the broken sound that barely reached his ears.

 

_"Thun...Five... ear me?"_

_John breathed out, called his brother's name but heard no reply. He had few resources left to him, but he'd use them all for another chance to hear that voice._

_"Virgil?"_

_"Virgil, can you hear me?"_

_"Jo..."_

_"Hold on, I’ll try to boost the signal."_

It was everything he could do, Thunderbird Five was trying to find a damaged signal and she had nothing more available to give. He hoped it was enough.

_"Virgil, can you hear me now?"_

_"Yeah, I can now."_

The signal was tentative as he spoke to him, he didn't want to risk losing it by sharing the connection with Scott and Gordon, choosing to keep them separate and relaying what he learned to them. As Virgil spoke to him, he began to worry once again, he sounded bad, very bad. John did what he could to reassure Virgil that help was on the way, but his voice cracked too often and he berated himself for the failure to keep his composure.

 

Virgil stopped forming sentences, words slurred and singular. John talked, tried to get his brother to talk back and keep him awake. He wasn't prepared for the scream that shattered his heart and wrenched a sob from his throat, the sound of his little brother in agony. He would never forget that sound, it clenched his chest tight and closed up his throat, he had never felt so utterly powerless in his whole life. He wanted to be there.

 

_"It hurts. John, I can't"_

He pleaded with him to stop moving, to wait for his family to come to him. He promised him they'd be there soon, tried to get him to focus on the training they all relied on.

 

Virgil grew quiet. Too few words and John knew what that meant.

 

_"I can't hear you Virg, talk to me."_

_"Sleep."_

_"No, no, stay awake."_

John heard nothing more, he knew then that Virgil had succumbed to sleep. He turned to his display, watched as Scott and Gordon's signals closed in, they were moments away but still so far for John's liking.

 

_"Scott, you have to hurry. I couldn't keep him awake, you need to get to him now!"_

_"We're almost there."_

Almost wasn't good enough, but John held his tongue and turned to his displays again. He could only listen as his brothers pushed on, slowing enough to reach the small area that Virgil waited in, unaware that help was so nearby. All he could do was listen, watch and float in zero gravity.

 

When they breached the wall, he could hear Gordon's frantic calls, Scott's commanding tone and the echoes of their voices as they bounced around the cave. He had to wait as they methodically worked to free Virgil from the debris, listen as Gordon desperately begged Scott for reassurance that Virgil's legs would be all right, watch as the time ticked by and each minute ripped another piece of his heart out.

 

When he heard Virgil's voice, he drew the last fragment of strength he had to keep himself focused.

 

_"John?"_

_"You're making a habit of scaring me, Virg."_

_"Sorry."_

John couldn't remember the last time he cried, it had been years, but when Scott had confirmed that Virgil was safely secured in Thunderbird Two, serious but stable, John let the tears fall.

 

_"Thunderbird Five, I've finished with the GDF, heading home now."_ Scott said, startling John from his thoughts. He coughed to clear his throat and the mental clouds in his head.

 

"FAB, Thunderbird One." John ran his hands through his hair, puffing out a breath as he pinched  the back of his neck hard with both hands.

 

“John, your heart rate is elevated, are you all right?” EOS said, her camera fixed on him above his head.

 

“Yes, EOS,” John answered, he sat back and leaned against the wall. “Too much coffee.”

 

EOS didn’t respond and John was grateful that she didn’t ask him to elaborate on his lie, with a deep breath, he pushed himself to his feet and went back to work.

 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still trying to get the hang of adding chapters on this site, so I'm really sorry if they come out a little wonky.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this story so far and for leaving kudos, I really do appreciate it. :)
> 
> A huge thank you to Thesilentone, you've stuck with this story even though it takes me forever to update. As always, your comments make my day, thank you. :)
> 
> This one was a pain to write, it took forever to get it where I wanted it to go and even then those pesky siblings derailed it slightly. I hope you enjoy it :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Thunderbirds, I'm just borrowing them for fun.

Chapter 7.

 

“What are you doing down here?”

 

Gordon watched as Virgil shuffled along the large hanger floor toward him, his brother was much improved over the time he had been home and it showed in his mood. Virgil had managed to work through the physiotherapy, albeit with many complaints but he still dedicated himself to his improvement. The cast on his right leg was due to be removed any day now, which the whole family waited with anticipation for.

 

“Is it wrong for me to check on my ship?”

 

“Are you checking up on your ship or the way I fly her?” Gordon replied with a smirk. “I promise I’m taking nothing but the best of care with her.”

 

“I know,” Virgil said, he huffed his breathing with the strain of carrying his weight against the crutches. Gordon grimaced at his effort, he schooled his expression but Virgil didn’t miss it. “I’m fine, Gordon.”

 

“Yeah, sure.” He replied as he walked to the desk against the wall and returned with the chair that was tucked under it. The desk and chair had moved down into the hanger, an old set of Virgil’s that had been replaced when he bought a newer set for his room. No one had thought to get rid of it, especially since Gordon usually borrowed the chair when he watched Brains and Virgil working on Four. The desk was more of a workbench now, cluttered with parts and tools. “Here, sit down.”

 

“Thanks,” Virgil grunted, falling into the seat. Gordon took the crutches from his hands and laid them aside, he handed Virgil the post flight checklist for Thunderbird Two.

 

“I don’t need to look at this, I know you’re doing it right.” Virgil said softly.

 

“I thought you came to check on your ship?”

 

“Okay, when I said check, I meant look.” Virgil shrugged. “I trust you with post flights, Gordo.”

 

Gordon took the list back and hopped up onto a nearby crate, he dropped the list to his side. His hands settled on the edge of the crate and he leaned forward, he grinned at his brother. "So, you came all the way down here to stare at her, huh?"

 

"It seems like the only time I'm ever near her lately, is sitting in the passenger seat or watching her fly away." The sorrowful sound to his voice had Gordon frowning.

 

“You’ve got a valid reason, though.” Gordon replied, he waved toward his brother’s legs. “And it won’t be for much longer, once the other cast is off and a little therapy, you’ll be back in the skies soon enough.”

 

“Doubtful,” Virgil muttered, his head fell. “Scott won’t let me fly until he knows I’m fit both mentally and physically.”

 

Gordon shrugged, his own gaze turned away. “So, talk to him, you know what he wants. It’s only going to stay that way if you keep shutting him out.”

 

“Seriously? You too? Why is so much attention on me?” The sighed resignation turned Gordon’s gaze to his brother. Virgil looked frustrated and being pestered by the whole family would do that, but it was of Virgil’s own making so Gordon wasn’t going to take his forced ignorance sitting down. Literally. He hopped off the crate and stepped into Virgil’s space his hands rested on the arms of the chair.

 

“You’re really asking that? Nightmares, Virg. After a traumatic event that left you in leg casts. What did you expect would happen?” He held up his hand to stop Virgil from replying. “And before you say anything, it’s your own choice to keep your nightmares to yourself, if you don’t like the fuss you know how to fix it.”

 

Virgil pushed Gordon’s arms, a firm but slow pressure, Gordon stepped back. “I might be the only one physically hurt, but I’m not the only one hurting. I don’t see any of you pressuring each other over that.”

 

“That’s not the same – “

 

“Sure it is, Gordon. Scott’s wearing himself thin, John’s a nervous wreck, you’re throwing yourself into the job and Alan? Alan has one hell of a poker face, right up to the point he looks at me like I’m a fragile piece of glass about to break. So, tell me again how this is all about me.” His brother wore a frown, but his tone was calm, more concern than frustration now. Gordon couldn’t understand how Virgil couldn’t see it, or ignored it, or whatever he was doing. He was right that he wasn’t the only one, but it was because of Virgil that they all had problems to solve.

 

“This _is_ about you.” Gordon replied. “We’re all having problems, I’ll admit that, but it’s all because of you. Because of what happened to you, because we weren’t good enough to stop it from happening in the first place. You wouldn’t be suffering if we did our jobs right, all of this could have been prevented.”

 

“It was an accident,” Virgil said, firm and determined. Gordon slumped down on the ground, his back against the crate, Virgil smiled reassuringly. “You did everything you could and even though you couldn’t stop it from happening, you got me out.”

 

“Broken,” Gordon replied, he pulled his knees up and rested his arms atop of them. “We got you out broken. I hope I never see any of you like that again, Virg. I don’t know how Scott kept his cool over the whole thing, you were so out of it but when you weren’t, Scott was so controlled you’d think the only thing you’d done was break a nail.”

 

“He’s like that,” Virgil said softly. “You’re like that too, every person you rescue, they see this young but confident hero saving their lives. It’s harder when it’s your own family.”

 

“Scott managed it,” Gordon countered.

 

“Yes, he did. He had two brothers counting on him and he wasn’t going to let either of us down. Doesn’t mean he pushed it away completely, just long enough to make sure we were safe.” Virgil reached out and ran his hand through Gordon’s hair gently. “Just like you did.”

 

Gordon sighed dejectedly and stared at the cast in front of him, his mind supplying that this image would never be able to override the one lodged in his memory. He had had doubts that Virgil would ever walk again, after seeing the horrible mess that was his legs in the cave. It’s a miracle they were able to repair the damage, it was a miracle that Scott and Gordon were able to splint the right leg in the first place. It was small wonder that Gordon hadn’t hurled his lunch at the site of it and managed to help Scott get him out.

 

The relief when Virgil first opened his eyes steadied his pounding heart, he had forced a smile on his face, the kind you learned to give to a victim that needed comfort when you needed them calm and they were injured _that_ bad. Virgil wouldn’t have noticed it with the pain and shock he was in, but the slight break in his resolve that he couldn’t hide, was obvious to Scott. When Virgil had drifted off again, Scott spared him a moment to right him, to focus him back on task so they could get Virgil out of there. Piloting Two to the nearest GDF hospital had come easily, the attention that came with flying and lack of visual on Virgil helped to keep his mind distracted enough to do his job.

 

Scott had left him at the hospital, not that he would have moved anyway, but one of them had to get the rest of the family there. Truthfully, Scott wouldn’t have let him fly alone anyway, another example of his oldest brother being as solid as a rock when he was barely holding it together.

 

The nurses had brought him coffee and smiles, but never any information about Virgil’s condition, he sat, caked in dust and smelling of sweat and blood as time ticked by slowly. A nurse had sat beside him and didn’t speak, after some time he had turned and asked her bitterly if she was moral support.

 

_“If you want me to be,” she replied. “I thought you could do with the company until your family arrive.”_

_Gordon couldn’t argue with that idea, he wasn’t much help to anyone right now and with nothing to distract him all he could see was his brother’s mangled limbs. “Do you think he’ll lose his legs?”_

_“Not If Doctor Thorne has anything to say about it.” The resoluteness of her tone and her belief in the doctor’s skill reassured him a little._

_“It wasn’t pretty,” Gordon muttered, his head dropped to stare at his dusty boots._

_“It seldom is,” she said, her clean, white plimsolls shifted on the floor, one tucked behind the other. “But you’ve seen plenty of injuries just like it, I imagine.”_

_“Yeah,” he mumbled. “But never on my brothers.”_

_The nurse had stayed with him, just as she promised. When his family arrived, he was relieved for the comforts they brought just with their presence alone. He wanted something to do and when Scott gave him clean clothes and pushed him toward a patient bathroom, he reluctantly agreed to get cleaned up. He thought he’d set a record for how quickly a person could shower but Scott proved faster, he stood waiting outside for him clean and dressed, a bag limp in his hands with his own soiled uniform._

_“You okay?”_

_Gordon nodded, he didn’t have the energy for more than that. Scott draped his arm around his shoulders and guided him back to their family._

_It was telling by the length of the surgery, how long they sat there until the doctor came to them looking tired but carrying a reassuring smile. Gordon stood with the rest of them and listened to him give a brief rundown of Virgil’s surgery and prospects for recovery, a lot of it went over his head, not because he couldn’t follow it but because he didn’t want to. The important words mattered the most, he still had both legs, he’d be walking again, no serious long-term issues should rehabilitation be followed correctly. Gordon frowned when the doctor suggested he may have a gait, that further surgery to remove the hardware used to fix the shattered bones in place - a personal choice if Virgil wanted to - could help if he suffers any chronic pain._

_He made it sound like Virgil was fragile and weak._

_“Can I see him?” Gordon interrupted. The corridor fell silent and the doctor turned to address him._

_“I can allow one visitor for a short time, but I’m afraid the rest of you will have to wait until he’s out of recovery.”_

_Gordon turned to Scott, his brother smiled softly and nodded._

_He followed the doctor along the corridor and entered the room his brother rested in, the lights were low and the soft breaths of Virgil sleeping under anaesthesia filled the silence. His lower body was covered, but the thick casts were clearly defined and Gordon circled the bed, his steps gentle and quiet. The staff had cleaned him, his hair free of dust and what skin was exposed showed he had been washed. His arms had cuts and grazes, nothing deep but they proved he’d tumbled down hard enough to break through the thick lining of his suit when he fell. His fingers were scraped, the pads freshly scabbed over and Gordon took one hand into his with featherlight care._

_He turned Virgil’s hand upward, studied the scrapes and realised with a sad sigh that his brother had tried to free himself with his bare hands. His own chest tightened at the imagery that his mind created, he turned the hand back, returned it to his brother’s torso but kept a hold of it as he looked at Virgil’s sleeping face._

_“We came as fast as we could, wasn’t fast enough though, huh?” He said sadly. “I’m sorry I let you down.”_

_Virgil didn’t reply and Gordon stood in the silence and watched him breathe until the doctor returned to kick him out of the room._

“You didn’t let me down.”

 

Gordon blinked, it took him a moment to realise he’d said that out loud and Virgil had heard it. His stomach flip-flopped with embarrassment and unease, he looked up at his brother who smiled back at him, the sadness in his eyes gave way to his true emotions. “What?”

 

“I said you didn’t let me down, you never have.” Virgil replied, he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, his body twisted slightly to avoid too much pressure on his right leg. “Why would you think that?”

 

“You know why.” Gordon muttered sourly, he looked down to the ground between his knees.

 

“No, I really don’t.” Virgil reached out and pinched Gordon’s ear, he yelped and pulled away as he covered the stinging lobe and stared in surprise at his brother. Virgil’s chuckle was warm and genuine, it eased the tension and Gordon relaxed with a snort of his own.

 

“You think you failed because nature took a swing at me? It was an accident, there was nothing you could have done to stop it from happening.” Virgil ruffled his hair with more force, deliberately messing it. Gordon shook him off and ran his hands through it in protest.

 

“You make it sound so simple,” he replied with a long breath out.

 

“And you’re overthinking it,” Virgil countered. “I don’t blame you, so you shouldn’t blame yourself. And I’m grateful you were too far away, because I have no idea how I survived that fall. I don’t want to even begin to imagine what could have happened if we were both there.”

 

Gordon shrugged. “You wouldn’t have been alone.”

 

“Better alone than you down there with me in the same predicament, or worse.” The chill to Virgil’s tone brooked no argument, Gordon’s older brother was understandably upset at the suggestion.

 

“All that aside, I still feel like I should’ve done more, been faster. I can’t just switch that off.”

 

“No more than I can click my fingers and get over it, it’ll take time.” Virgil replied firmly. “And throwing yourself into your work is admirable, but it won’t change how you feel any quicker either.”

 

“I know that,” Gordon nodded acknowledgment, he tilted his head. “So, clicking your fingers didn’t work, huh?”

 

Virgil leaned back in his seat, he fidgeted and looked anywhere but at Gordon. “We’re not talking about me.”

 

“You kinda insinuated there for a moment, thought that was an offer of an opening.”

 

“It wasn’t,” Virgil grumbled, a soft warning for Gordon not to pry.

 

“Are you sure? Because we seem to be on a roll right now.” He replied. Ignoring the warning was seldom advisory under normal circumstances but Gordon always did like pushing buttons. He watched Virgil squirm, his older brother eyed his crutches and reached for them but Gordon beat him to it. He passed them over his body and tucked them close to his side furthest from Virgil.

 

“So help me, Gordon, if you don’t give them back I’ll walk out of here without them and send Scott your way when he catches me doing it.” Virgil didn’t exactly growl, but the deepening of his voice was close enough.

 

Gordon stood and stepped backwards, taking the crutches with him, he held them out but still beyond Virgil’s range. “Just answer me one thing, because this…this matters, okay?”

 

Virgil watched him warily, unwilling to commit but still prepared to listen.

 

Gordon took a deep breath, closed his eyes and pushed the air from his lungs then looked at his brother. He wanted to lower himself down, to be more in Virgil’s line of sight but he needed the distance to steel himself for what would be a painful question.

 

“Did you try to dig yourself free down there?”

 

Virgil’s eyes widened and Gordon thought his brother was about to explode in anger, but Virgil dropped his gaze and his eyes flickered side to side, as if processing a memory. They narrowed in concentration before he glanced back to Gordon’s own eyes.

 

“Is this why you’re so determined to blame yourself? Why you’re throwing yourself into the job every day?”

 

“You didn’t answer my question,” Gordon countered as he lowered the crutches to his side.

 

“Answer mine first,” Virgil nudged.

 

Gordon sighed and stepped forward, he lowered the crutches into Virgil’s lap, giving him an out. “Honest answer? Yes, but it’s not just that. It’s a big part of it, because I ask myself that question every day and I don’t like the answers I come up with.”

 

Virgil nodded in understanding, he didn’t touch the crutches. “If I said yes, would it change anything?”

 

“I don’t know,” Gordon said with a tired shrug. “I guess knowing the truth would make a difference but knowing you had would probably make me feel worse.”

 

Virgil shook his head and exhaled sharply, he lifted the crutches and awkwardly stood from the chair. After he tucked the crutches under his arms, he looked at Gordon with a blank expression then turned on the spot and started to walk away. He didn’t take more than three steps before he turned his head, his gaze was focused on the ground at Gordon’s feet.

 

“Maybe I did, but I don’t remember doing it.”

 

Gordon’s heart sank, but it wasn’t because Virgil had left the question unanswered, it was because his brother didn’t know himself. “At the hospital, your hands…”

 

“Were just as beaten up as the rest of me,” Virgil finished for him. He tipped his head toward the elevator and sighed heavily. “Come on, the sun’s still up and I’m overdue for today’s therapy session.”

 

Gordon took the cue for what it was, that Virgil was not prepared to elaborate further. He followed him and said nothing as they left conversations of dark places behind them; it occurred to him then the irony of discussing being underground had happened underground, a fact that hadn’t seemed to bother Virgil. But he realised, as the elevator doors opened and the sun hit his face, that his brother wasn’t as unbothered as he first thought. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the slight slump of Virgil’s shoulders, the quiet sigh of relief that followed it. He couldn’t help to wonder if he just gave Virgil’s subconscious another opportunity to haunt him in his dreams.

 

If he did have a nightmare tonight, well Gordon could add that guilt to the pile too.

 

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

 

When Gordon woke the next morning, he found it harder than usual to pull himself from his bed. He hadn’t exactly suffered horrendous dreams but it played on his mind that Virgil probably had, so he spent his night tossing and turning restlessly.

 

He brushed off the tiredness and worry, determined to start the morning awake and ready for whatever the world wanted to throw at him. But as he reached the kitchen, the sour faces of both Scott and Virgil whispering harshly to each other paused him at the door. They brightened in welcome as they noticed him, both leaning away from the table and each other in a vain attempt to hide their actions.

 

He smiled warmly and headed to the refrigerator, nodded to the spot they had previously been so close together talking and waved his hand in a mildly interested way. “You two looked pretty tense, everything okay?”

 

Scott and Virgil turned and studied each other, both attempted to gauge each other’s response. Scott let out a tired sigh and shook his head. “Nothing to worry about, Gordon.”

 

“And that line right there makes me worry,” Gordon replied as he pulled the juice from the refrigerator, he closed it and padded to the table.

 

“Brains says the cast can come off today,” Scott replied and Gordon narrowed his eyes at the deflection. “Virgil’s heading to the infirmary after breakfast.”

 

“That’s great,” Gordon replied but the forced enthusiasm couldn’t hide his irritation that Scott and Virgil were keeping him out of the loop. “Are you going with him?”

 

“I can’t,” Scott sighed. “Colonel Casey is holding a meeting with the brass about these ongoing attacks, she needs me to give the details from our missions. John’s going to be sitting in from Five as well. Whoever they are, they’re stepping up their attacks and the GDF are worried.”

 

Gordon nodded in understanding, the GDF had been working closely with both of his brothers to try and find the culprits. So far no one had lost their lives but if things kept up they may not be so lucky next time. He turned to Virgil who sat quietly and listened to their older brother, he was kept informed of the events that had been happening over the last few weeks, but being grounded through injury had left him feeling detached.

 

“I’m old enough to do this on my own, you know.” Virgil muttered, he dropped his gaze to his coffee cup and lifted it to sip carefully.

 

“Yeah, okay grumpy.” Scott replied with a huffed laugh, he nodded to Gordon. “You should take your physiotherapist with you, though.”

 

“Sure, I can do that,” Gordon swigged from the carton and ignored the disapproving scowls from both his brothers as he wiped at his lips. “If everything looks fine we can have a short session in the pool after.”

 

“Yay,” Virgil replied, deadpan.

 

Scott snorted in amusement. “That’s the spirit.” He stood and tucked in his chair, walked around the table and rested his hand on Virgil’s shoulder. “We’ll finish our talk later, okay?”

 

“Must we?” Virgil groaned. Scott tightened his grip in affirmation, released him and smiled at Gordon as he passed.

 

Gordon watched Scott go before he turned back to watch Virgil lose himself in his mug again. “Is there any point in me asking what you guys were talking about earlier?”

 

Virgil sighed and slouched, he swivelled in his seat and gave Gordon a sullen look. “It’s nothing, just a rough night.”

 

Great. Gordon’s own bad night was justified after all, he wasn’t privy to Virgil’s nightmares and how frequent they were – mainly because they all made a conscious effort to give him space – but given the timing he was certain he was to blame for this one.

 

“Because of me?” Gordon asked quietly.

 

“Why would you think that?” Virgil replied, he looked both confused and surprised.

 

“Well, after our talk yesterday-“ Gordon started but Virgil waved him off with a sigh.

 

“It’s not you, Gordo. My nightmares happen plenty of times, don’t worry about it.”

 

Virgil’s blasé dismissal offered no comfort and after seeing Scott and Virgil in hushed conversation, it seemed to him that last night’s dream was not one of the gentler ones. If Scott was adamant about confronting Virgil then it must have been bad.

 

“But Scott- “

 

“Scott’s watching me like a hawk, I don’t even know how much sleep he gets when he’s there to wake me up every time. He wanted me to talk about it, I wanted him to tell me how much rest he’s getting, neither of us got our answer.” Virgil said with a frustrated shake of his head.

 

Gordon puffed out a breath, not quite content with the reply. “But you did have a nightmare, I can’t help thinking I caused it, not after what we talked about.”

 

“I don’t understand why you’re so adamant to blame yourself for so much lately, I don’t hold any of this against you. It’s my own head that’s doing this, not you, not anyone, just me.” Virgil stood awkwardly, tucked his crutches under his arms and shuffled over to Gordon. He leaned on one crutch, rested the other against the table and swivelled to loop his free arm around Gordon’s shoulders. “I’m only going to say this once, because frankly it shouldn’t need to be said at all. I trust you with my life, Gordon and you’ve never let me down, ever. You got that?”

 

Gordon could only nod at the determined look to his brother’s eyes and the conviction of his words. Virgil smiled and released him, ruffled his hair firmly before retrieving his crutch and hobbling away.

 

“Brains wants to give me a check-up before he takes this thing off, you’ve got time to eat if you want, we’ll wait for you.”

 

“Sure,” he replied as he stood and headed for the counter. “I’ll be quick.”

 

“No need to rush,” Virgil said, he turned and gave Gordon a mischievous smile. “I’m not exactly looking forward to you pulling me about in the pool, I’ll delay the inevitable as long as I can.”

 

“Well, it’s not going to be any easier with _that_ leg, but you’ll thank me later.” Gordon shrugged, he opened the cupboard and pulled out the cereal. “Hey, maybe we could distract you with Scott and Alan cheering you on with Pom-poms?”

 

Virgil barked a laugh, the room filled with the sound and Gordon had to grin at the reaction.

 

“Now that, Gordo, I’d pay to see.”

 

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry for the delay with this chapter, life took a weird turn. But thankfully I have been able to write recently, I'm not entirely happy with this chapter so I must apologise in advance if it's terrible.
> 
> A big, big thank you to Thesilentone, who has stuck with this story and had to wait so long for the next chapter. :)
> 
> And a big thank you to Hsg for leaving such a nice comment, I hope you continue to enjoy the story. :)
> 
> This one is particularly long, I think it's the longest yet. I hope you enjoy. :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Thunderbirds, I'm just borrowing them for fun.

Chapter 8.

 

Alan was exhausted. It was late, the sun had long since set over the island and Alan was the first to arrive back home. He scrubbed the back of his neck to stretch out tense muscles and glanced outside on his way to check in with Scott and Gordon, the outdoor lighting showed a figure sitting on one of the loungers. He stopped and watched, he couldn’t see clearly but the frame of his brother was easily discernible even in the dark. Alan changed direction and headed outside, Virgil didn’t glance up as he stared at the lit pool, he seemed deep in thought. He must have heard and seen Thunderbird Three arrive and land, no amount of day dreaming could blot out her engines and he certainly couldn’t stay sitting there when Scott returned in Thunderbird One.

 

Alan coughed gently to let Virgil know he was there with him and Virgil startled, he turned quickly and checked his surroundings, probably making sure no other family members had sneaked up on him.

 

“Hey, Alan.” Virgil sounded sheepish, similar to how Alan would sound when he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing.

 

“Hey,” he replied cautiously. He closed the distance between them and dropped onto the neighbouring lounger. “What are you doing out here?”

 

Virgil shrugged one shoulder, a nonchalant expression on his face. “Just getting some air,”

 

“Uh huh,” Alan replied, unconvinced. He watched Virgil turn his head to the sky, eyes scanning the cloudless air above and Alan turned to look as well. If he didn’t know better, he’d guess that Virgil was waiting for Thunderbird One to appear.

 

The lights inside the house were off and Grandma, Brains and Kayo most likely asleep, the ambient lighting of the pool was always left on, along with minimal lighting for the paths back to the house but it still left it feeling eerie. On warm nights, Gordon often came for midnight swims to cool off, which was why the lights stayed on; there’s only so many times they could handle his complaining whenever he stubbed his toe in the dark. Not to mention Scott’s meltdowns at how dangerous it was to swim alone and in the pitch black. So, with the slight lighting and a clear sky, Alan thought it proved that Virgil’s nightmares had nothing to do with darkness if he could sit here alone practically surrounded by it.

 

“Did you get any sleep?” Alan said softly. “It’s pretty late.”

 

“Couldn’t,” Virgil replied as he continued to stare upwards.

 

Alan rubbed the back of his neck nervously, concerned about the response he’d get to his next question. “Nightmares?”

 

“No.”

 

The reply was short and sharp, which only confirmed Alan’s worry. “Sorry.”

 

Virgil turned back to him then, a frown on his face. “What for?”

 

“Asking dumb questions,” Alan replied with a shrug.

 

“It wasn’t a dumb question, Alan. And don’t apologise for being worried about me.” Virgil said as he reached out and ruffled his hair, it was a stretch for him so his hand fell away soon after.

 

Alan huffed a relieved breath, feeling bold, he decided to press further. “So, with that opening, can I ask why you’re really out here?”

 

Virgil stared at him and Alan could see him internally debating his next words. He sighed heavily and dropped his gaze to the ground. “Any idea when Scott and Gordon are due back?”

 

“Not sure, I haven’t checked in with John yet.”

 

Virgil nodded understanding.

 

“Did you want me to find out?”

 

“No,” Virgil replied with a single shake of his head. “It’s fine.”

 

Alan shuffled forward, perching on the edge of the lounger. It toppled on its feet with the imbalance of weight but Alan kept it stable enough. “Last I heard, they were just finishing up. They’re probably on their way back by now.”

 

Virgil hummed acknowledgement and looked back to the sky.

 

Alan wasn’t stupid, he could tell that something was bothering Virgil just merely by his limited conversation and far off look. His reluctance to speak wasn’t new, but the current surroundings and time of night held more strength than a usual daytime silence. Virgil had changed and was ready for bed, but the crutch, one of them anyway, that had become a solid part of his life lately was nowhere to be seen. He hadn’t planned to be outside, either that or he had chosen to leave it behind. Either way Scott wouldn’t be pleased if he finds out.

 

“Where’s your crutch?”

 

“In my room.”

 

“Why?”

 

Virgil dropped his face to Alan, he opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it and shrugged lazily. “I left it behind.” He replied after a pause.

 

The words had been carefully chosen, Virgil decided not to elaborate on the why but was clever enough that he gave an answer that wasn’t a lie too. Left behind could mean deliberate intent or forgotten. Adding it all together, Alan couldn’t ignore that it didn’t sit well with him. “Did you want me to go and get it? Because, you know, if Scott finds out you’re walking around without it, it’s gonna make life uncomfortable around here.”

 

Virgil huffed a laugh. “More so for me than you, don’t worry about it.”

 

Alan decided he’d get it before letting Virgil move away from that lounger, but for now they had time to talk more. “Is he still pushing?”

 

“Oh yeah,” Virgil said as leaned back and supported himself with his arms behind him. “Subtle, he is not.”

 

“Never was one of his strong points.” Alan agreed.

 

“He’s not wrong though.” Surprised at the admission from his brother, Alan blinked as Virgil smirked. “He’s only doing what I’d do, but I don’t like being on the receiving end of it.”

 

“He can’t make you talk about it, no matter how hard he tries to.” Alan replied. “I know he’s scared for you.”

 

“Yeah,” Virgil sighed heavily. “But I don’t know what’s going on in my head, I asked him to give me time to work things out first.”

 

“And how’s that going?”

 

Virgil laughed. “Not very far.”

 

“I know that feeling,” Alan muttered softly. Virgil heard the comment and raised a questioning eyebrow. Alan shrugged and moved to sit alongside his brother.

 

“You know, I think I have a unique perspective on this whole situation.”

 

“In what way?”

 

“I wasn’t involved,” he said as he shuffled closer to Virgil’s much warmer body. “They all played a part and all I did was sit at home and wait. I never really saw you until you were all cleaned up and wrapped in casts in the hospital.”

 

Virgil snorted. “Caught me at my best.”

 

“Bedridden with broken legs is your best?” Alan scoffed.

 

“It certainly was at the time.” Virgil laughed gently.

 

“And that’s my point,” Alan said as he leaned in, eager for physical contact to reassure himself that Virgil was with him. Virgil took his weight against his side, as easy as he always had when they were young. “I’ve never seen you look so vulnerable before, it was a shock for me. All the time at the hospital, when you got home, I watched how hard it was for you to move around, to do the simplest things and I hate seeing you struggle. But everyone else saw it differently, they saw a better version of you because they were there to see how bad it really was. I mean, I saw John’s face when he came down from Five, he looked terrible, Scott came home to pick us up and he was mucky from the rescue, but his eyes were so empty, like he was running on autopilot. Then when I saw Gordon, he was so quiet and pale and scared that it only frightened me more.”

 

Virgil’s arm wrapped around Alan’s shoulders, he stayed quiet to let Alan to continue.

 

“They tried to reassure me, but they knew just as little as I did. You were alive, you were in surgery but other than that, we were stuck with the waiting game hoping it turned out okay.”

 

“And it did.” Virgil replied, the reassurance intent in his assertions.

 

“It did.” Alan agreed as he turned to smile at his brother. “You were alive and in one piece, at that point no one cared about the recovery because we had you still with us. All the time spent worrying that we’d lose you, or you’d lose a leg, it had built up and just knowing that none of that was going to happen changed everything. I thought that would be the end of it, you know? Disaster averted, but it isn’t.”

 

“Alan?”

 

Alan dropped his head to Virgil’s shoulder, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply. “Everyone’s a mess, they’re all suffering and sometimes it’s hard to justify my own problems when I wasn’t even a part of it.”

 

“Just because you weren’t there doesn’t mean it can’t affect you too, that’s not how it works.” Virgil replied as he rested his head on Alan’s.

 

“I know,” Alan sighed. “And I know you don’t need to add my problems to your own.”

 

“It’s my job to look out for you.” Virgil said softly. “It doesn’t matter what problems I have, you can still talk to me.”

 

Alan didn’t reply, he closed his eyes and let his brother’s warmth seep into him. After a while, he licked his dry lips and breathed deeply again. “I get why you don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” Alan said as he wrapped his own arm around Virgil’s back. “I have nightmares too. Everyone is so preoccupied with everything that I don’t think they’ve noticed, and I haven’t told anyone anyway. I don’t want to tell them either, so I figure it’s the same reason you’re trying not to. You don’t want them to worry about it, if you tell them then they’ll focus on you and not themselves. You’re looking out for them.”

 

Alan could feel Virgil swallow, a gentle movement against his head. He stayed silent, waiting for his brother to respond and as the silence stretched on, Alan worried he’d said the wrong thing.

 

“What do you dream about?” Virgil finally said.

 

“The worst thing imaginable,” Alan whispered, his voice thickening with emotion. “You never came home.”

 

Virgil’s other arm wrapped around Alan, they shifted around in an awkward embrace with their legs twisted to the side of their bodies, but the hold Virgil held him in was tight. “I’m right here, kiddo.”

 

“I know you are,” Alan said over Virgil’s shoulder, his eyes dropped shut. “I just wish that was all it took to make them stop.”

 

“If I’d have known-“

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Alan said quickly. “You’ve got your own problems right now, I’ve been handling it fine but I guess I just wanted you to know that I know how you feel.”

 

“Still doesn’t make it okay, Alan. I don’t want you ever feeling you can’t talk to me about something that’s bothering you.” Virgil replied as his thumb brushed against the back of Alan’s head.

 

“I wasn’t planning on telling you, but with the others so eager to get you talking I thought you could use someone on your team.” Alan said as he pulled back and away from Virgil. His brother’s arms fell to his side but one hand stayed on Alan’s forearm. Alan appreciated the contact remaining, whether Virgil knew the reassurance it gave him or not, didn’t matter.

 

“I appreciate that,” Virgil smiled but the sadness was evident in his eyes. Alan broke eye contact and shuddered at the loss of his brother’s heat.

 

“It’s too cold out here.”

 

“We live on a tropical island, how can you be cold?” Virgil laughed gently.

 

“It still gets colder at night than it is during the day,” Alan started to protest but they both looked up at the darkened sky, the distant rockets of Thunderbird One growing closer. “I better go get your crutch. If Scott finds you without it, he’ll go nuts.”

 

Virgil pushed himself to his feet, wobbly from sitting for so long. “No time. He’s pushing her, she’s about three minutes out.”

 

“It’s freaky how you know that,” Alan replied as he stood and looped his arm around Virgil’s waist. “Here, I’ll help you.”

 

“I can manage,” Virgil complained, even as he rested his arm across Alan’s shoulders. “It’s the pitch, plus you can hear he’s closing in.”

 

Alan listened to the sound, he couldn’t tell the pitch from that distance or that Scott was any closer. “I guess it’s a musician thing.”

 

“I guess,” Virgil said with a shrug.

 

They made it back into the house just as the pool started retracting, Alan left Virgil at the table in the kitchen and rushed upstairs to his brother’s bedroom. He picked the crutch up from the floor and only spared a brief glance at the crumpled sheets of Virgil’s bed, it confirmed that he’d been asleep before Alan found him at the poolside.

 

He made it back to the kitchen and found Virgil making warm drinks at the counter, Alan slipped the crutch under his arm just as Scott called from the top of the stairs.

 

“I didn’t think anyone would still be up, please tell me there’s coffee.”

 

Virgil mouthed a ‘thank you’ to Alan before replying to Scott as he came into view. “It’s a little late for coffee.”

 

“Smells like coffee,” Scott said after a long inhale, he walked toward them both, still in his uniform. He dropped his hands on each of their shoulders, a steady smile on his face. “Gordon’s fifteen minutes out.”

 

“No problems with the rescue?” Alan said, noticing Scott’s pleased expression.

 

“Everyone safe and accounted for, very little structural damage and thankfully this rescue seems to be unrelated to the GDF’s ongoing case.” Scott answered happily. He dropped his hands away and reached for his mug, he blew on it as he headed for the table. Alan and Virgil followed him. They sat with Alan and Virgil side by side, Scott opposite him.

 

“I get why you’re still up,” Scott said as he gestured to Alan. He turned his head to Virgil. “But why are you?”

 

“You’re kidding, right? Hard to sleep when Thunderbird Three shakes the whole house.” Virgil waved his arms for emphasis. Alan was amused that Virgil could lie so easily, with what he knew now it was clear that his ship hadn’t woken Virgil up. But he could understand the need for the deflection, Scott wouldn’t drop it if he knew what had happened.

 

“It’s never bothered you before.”

 

Or maybe if he’s curious enough. Alan leaned back in his seat, a gentle move that Scott hadn’t noticed as he focused on Virgil.

 

“True, it doesn’t always. But it did tonight.” Virgil replied with a shrug.

 

“And why was that?”

 

“Does it matter?”

 

“It does.”

 

Alan watched the two standing off against each other with few words being said between them, Scott was much like a dog with a bone when it came to Virgil and after their time at the poolside, Alan knew Virgil would be snappy at their oldest brother’s insistence. He was ready to interrupt but Virgil downed his coffee and stood. “It’s late, we all need sleep.”

 

“Virgil-“ Scott said with a dejected sigh.

 

“No.” Virgil replied firmly. “Not now.”

 

“Then when, Virg?” Scott leaned forward, his elbows rested on the table. “This can’t go on.”

 

“And you think _now_ is the right time?” Virgil said, exasperated.

 

Scott deflated, his shoulders dropped as he sighed again. “No, you’re right. Look, I’m just worried about you, and I’m wired from the rescue. I’m sorry.”

 

“I’m going to bed.” Virgil grumbled. He tucked his crutch under his arm and headed for the stairs.

 

Alan reached across the table and quickly gripped Scott’s arm in reassurance before following after Virgil. He helped his brother manage the stairs, guided him to his door and waited as Virgil leaned against the wall alongside it. His head tipped back and his eyes dropped closed, a sure sign that he was bothered by his and Scott’s confrontation.

 

Alan decided to let Gordon help Scott, knowing well enough that he would once he got home and saw Scott at the table. Their older brother would give Virgil time to settle and not feel so caged in before venturing to bed, himself. “What do you need?”

 

“Sleep,” Virgil muttered miserably. He opened his eyes and pivoted his head toward Alan, lifting it away from the wall. “Wanna bunk with me tonight?”

 

Alan smiled, he gave a short, single nod. “Sure.”

 

Virgil pushed away from the wall and opened his door, Alan left him to get his pillow and blanket and by the time he’d made it back, Virgil was already in bed. He’d shifted closer to the wall, leaving space for Alan. They turned to their sides, facing each other and Alan snuggled under his thicker blanket as Virgil tucked his arm under his pillow. Alan yawned as Virgil closed his eyes, his own tiredness taking over. “When was the last time we did this?”

 

Virgil peeled open one eye, a smirk on his lips. “It’s been a while, ever since you complained you’d outgrown it.”

 

Alan huffed softly. “Youngest of five brothers, could you blame me?”

 

“Not really,” Virgil replied as he shifted about slightly. “I hope you outgrew the kicking part of your sleeping pattern, though.”

 

Alan laughed softly. “I wouldn’t know, but I’m sure you’ll tell me in the morning.”

 

Virgil reached forward and pinched Alan’s nose, he yelped and batted his brother’s hand away. Virgil chuckled before he settled back to sleep.

 

Alan watched him until his own eyes grew heavy, as he closed them, he drifted off to his brother’s deep breathing.

 

_Alan ran into the lounge, breathless and panicked. He took in everyone in the room, his brothers still in uniform, his Grandma, Kayo and Brains each sitting close to the tired and haggard siblings._

_But he was missing, Virgil wasn’t there._

_“Where is he?”_

_Scott stood, eyes empty and dull. “Alan…”_

_“Where? Scott, where’s Virgil?”_

_Scott sagged, his eyes dropping away from Alan’s. John’s head lowered to stare at his lap and Gordon stood and left the room. Alan shakily walked to stand before Scott._

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“No.”_

_“I’m so sorry, Alan.”_

_“No.”_

_“He’s gone.”_

_Alan turned and ran, his surroundings blurring as tears built up and flowed hot down his cheeks. It wasn’t true, he was hiding that’s all, he had to be here. Virgil was alive, he just had to find him._

_He checked the bedrooms, the kitchen, the hangers, leaving the doors open wide so that Virgil would know he’d been there. He raced around the island, uncaring of the trees scratching his face, the uneven floor twisting his ankles in painful directions._

_His brother was nowhere to be found._

_He returned to the lounge, his family and people he didn’t know gathered, dressed in black. The funeral had been finished hours before, the wake now taking place in their home. The pictures of Virgil in his short years of living adding the only colour in a dark and dreary room. He tugged at his tie, pulling it free and popping the top button. The old, battered armchair in the corner looked safe, he couldn’t recall when they’d got it but that’s where Alan went. He dropped down behind it, the chair growing in size to hide him from the sad stares and pitying comfort they offered._

_He let go, sobbing and huddled in on himself as Alan grieved._

Alan choked awake, small hiccups and wet cheeks telling him he’d been crying in his sleep. The irrationality of his tears instantly frustrated him, it was only a dream but the emotions were real. The overwhelming sadness he couldn’t contain in his nightmare had bled out again and left him exhausted and frightened. He tilted his head up towards his still sleeping brother, faint light from the early morning seeping in helped him see that Virgil was here, alive. He’d only been asleep for a few hours, not enough to keep him functional if he chose to get up now. Instead he shuffled forward, tucked himself under Virgil’s chin and breathed a relieved sigh when Virgil unconsciously draped an arm over him. He drifted off again, hoping this time that Virgil could keep the nightmares away.

 

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

 

When he next awoke, the sun was high and the room had filled with light. He stretched his spine from the inward curve it had rested in continuously during sleep, careful not to wake Virgil as his brother still breathed deeply. His arm hadn’t moved from its position over Alan’s shoulder, it was weighted and solid and Alan delicately slid from beneath it, Virgil rolled into his back but didn’t wake. He perched on the side of the bed, still bleary from his rest when there was a soft knock on the door. It opened after, with Gordon poking his head between the growing gap, he smiled as he fully entered.

 

“Hey,” Gordon whispered. “Wondered where you were. We’re having a late, late breakfast downstairs.”

 

“What time is it?” Alan asked around a yawn, he scratched at the back of his neck before combing his fingers through his hair.

 

“Technically lunchtime, but no one kicked me out of bed so I’m guessing Grandma is going easy on us after last night.”

 

Alan nodded and stood, he pulled his pillow and blanket from the bed and noticed Virgil stirring. He dropped his hand to his shoulder and gave the smallest of shakes. “Morning. Didn’t kick you, did I?”

 

“Surprisingly, no.” Virgil yawned. He stretched his arms above his head and groaned with, more than likely, the same aches as Alan had from maintaining the same position all night. “Slept like a log, if my back is anything to go by.”

 

“Mine too,” Alan huffed in amusement.

 

“What time is it?”

 

“Lunchtime,” Gordon replied, louder now that everyone was awake. “Breakfast?” He offered.

 

“I won’t leave this bed for anything less than pancakes.” Virgil declared as his arms flopped back to the mattress.

 

“I approve.” Gordon nodded pleasingly. He turned and headed for the door. “I’ll go notify the chef.”

 

Their brother failed to close the door on his way, they could hear him announce their preferred choice of food to Scott, who gave a reply that they couldn’t hear. Only Gordon’s exuberant whooping confirmed that pancakes were definitely on the menu.

 

“How’d you sleep?”

 

Alan bundled his pillow and blankets into a ball as he watched Virgil shuffle to the edge of bed. “It wasn’t as bad as it has been.”

 

“But you still had a nightmare?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Virgil leaned down and picked up his crutch, he stood and tucked it under his arm. He gestured to the bundle Alan held. “Then leave those here. It wasn’t a one-time offer, you can bunk with me however long you want.”

 

Alan dropped them on the bed. He couldn’t say the nightmares had gone, and frankly expecting it to be an instant cure was ridiculous; but knowing that Virgil was there had helped him drift off much faster than before. He was more than happy to give it another go and even if it didn’t chase his dreams away, Alan hoped it might help rid his brother of his own ones in the process.

 

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

 

Alan met Virgil at his door as he softly pulled it shut, he followed close behind as his brother approached the stairs. Virgil switched his crutch to his left side and held the handrail with his right, awkwardly making his way down.

 

"Do you need a hand?" Alan hovered a step behind, his arm out to steady him should he need it.

 

"I'm good," Virgil puffed out, the obvious effort belied the words. "Just stay behind me, in case I fall. Wouldn't want to squish you."

 

"That doesn’t sound appealing," Alan replied. Virgil may have lost weight with his injuries, but he was still larger than Alan. "Besides, you haven't fallen yet."

 

"Always a first time," came the reply. "My leg isn't feeling all that strong today."

 

With that admission, Alan scooted around Virgil and led the way down with a hand on his arm. Virgil looked flustered at the action but didn't vocalise his disproval. Alan smiled warmly, apologising with a shrug and gave gentle admonishment at the same time. "I don't suppose sneaking around, without your crutch last night, had anything to do with it?"

 

Virgil relented with a huff and a shake of his head, easily put off his irritation by Alan's soft approach. "Maybe."

 

When they reached the bottom, level with the lounge, Virgil stopped and panted at his efforts. Alan stood by but he started to question whether Virgil would be able to make it down the next set to the kitchen. "Do you want to wait here?"

 

"No," he shook his head adamantly. "I can do it."

 

"You all right, up there?"

 

Alan turned to see Gordon as he made his way up the stairs from the kitchen to meet them, he chose to ignore Virgil's dismissal to Gordon and waved him forward. "Little help?"

 

"Sure." Gordon said cheerily. Before Virgil could protest, they both took an arm and helped him the rest of the way down. Their brother muttered complaints the entire way, only holding back his ire for the sake of their own concern and how much it wasn't polite to protest about brotherly help. They returned his crutch and let him make his way to the table, with Alan sharing a nod with Gordon and the latter waving off Scott's silent question.

 

Scott continued with his pancake making, he flipped the pan with practised ease before letting the fresh pancake slide from the pan to the pile alongside the cooker top. There was plenty of batter left but he didn't start to make more, instead Scott picked up the plate and brought it to the table. "Dig in, guys. I can make more if we need them."

 

“There’s plenty here already,” Alan said as he forked two onto his own plate.

 

“John’s on his way down from Five,” Scott replied as he turned and headed back to the stove. “Gordon gave him a call earlier.”

 

Alan nodded his understanding. It’s hard to believe that before the space elevator, poor John had to wait for Thunderbird Three to go and pick him up. The extended time meant that trips back to the island were fewer, since it dragged him away from his post for too long. Now, the carefully designed elevator could carry him there and back easily, a single trip only taking eight minutes. It took Alan that long to go from the lounge to take off alone.

 

“When’s he getting here?” Alan asked between bites. “The pancakes will get cold.”

 

“And I’m sure you’ll eat them all to prevent that tragedy.” John said as he came into view from behind Alan. He was still suited which meant it would be a short visit to Earth today, Alan noted that since Virgil’s accident, John had increased how often he came home. He didn’t blame him, being around everyone together so much reminded them all of pre-International Rescue days. Before chaos split them up too often and their respective specialities kept them apart. It was nice, in a twisted way, that Virgil’s accident had pulled them closer. A slap to the face to remind them who they were and what they mean to each other.

 

Alan shrugged as he finished the first two and snagged more, he poured a generous amount of syrup over them. “Can’t waste food, bro. Besides, I can’t help it if my sweet tooth loves pancakes.”

 

“It’ll be no teeth if you keep up with the syrup,” Scott admonished softly.

 

“Hey, I look after my teeth just fine.” Alan complained, he thumbed toward Gordon. “He’s the one who forgets to brush sometimes.”

 

“I’m a busy guy, it’s easy to slip occasionally.” Gordon shrugged.

 

“No, it isn’t.” Chorused the four brothers. The surprised synchronicity of their reply had them sharing a stunned  glance around the table before they all chuckled in amusement.

 

They fell into silence as they worked their way through the pancake pile, John and Alan finished first, with John choosing to clear the table as Alan washed his food down with his juice. Not long after, Gordon leaned back and sighed in satisfaction, “my compliments to the chef.”

 

“Glad you enjoyed it.” Scott said, his own plate now empty. Virgil still had one pancake on his plate, he usually was the last to finish because he always had the most, but his convalescence had reduced his plate size and he had developed the habit of playing with his food and taking it slow.

 

Gordon leaned over and nudged Alan with his elbow. “So, bunking with Virgil. What gives? I thought you said you were too old for that now.”

 

Alan glanced around, gauging the reaction to the revelation. John had turned from the sink to do the same, his expression curious as he studied his brothers. Gordon was genuinely light-hearted about his question but Scott was keeping his eyes firmly on Virgil, the latter more focused on his food than before.

 

“I may have been hasty in that assessment,” Alan replied. He smiled and tried to show how unimportant the act was, that it held no serious meaning, even though it did.

 

Both John and Gordon seemed satisfied with the answer, but Scott hadn’t removed his gaze from Virgil. Alan could see that Virgil was growing irritated with the inspection, with the silent accusation that it was about him. The two brothers were about to boil over, and this was exactly what Alan had been trying to avoid by keeping his nightmares to himself. He opened his mouth to give in and admit the real reason, to stop Scott from thinking the wrong thing and getting into a fight with Virgil.

 

“I had a nightmare, nothing unusual there.” Virgil said to his plate. He took a bite and kept his head low, leaving Scott to stare at the top of his head. And that right there, Alan realised, was Virgil throwing himself under a bus for his benefit.

 

Scott’s eyes narrowed, his head tipped to the side to try and see Virgil’s face. He leaned forward, his arms crossed on the table. “You’re lying.” He said calmly.

 

Virgil dropped his fork and pushed the plate away, he looked up and glared at Scott. “And you’re pushy.”

 

“You’re not denying it,” Scott countered. “You’re deflecting.”

 

“Stop analysing me!” Virgil snapped, his hands slapped down on the table. “Contrary to popular belief, you do not need to know everything that goes on on this island.”

 

“Guys.” Alan said as he stood and moved around the table, he put himself in their line of sight but neither looked at him.

 

“No, I don’t need to know everything, but that doesn’t change the fact that I worry. I’m not doing this to be difficult, I’m doing it because I’m scared.” Scott replied as he uncrossed his arms and waved them in frustration.

 

“And that gives you the right to hound me? Because you’re scared?”

 

“Virgil,” Scott growled, his body stiffened. Alan had to admit that that was a low blow from Virgil, Scott was a mother hen, he had to grow up too soon to help raise his brothers and that made him extremely protective of his siblings. Virgil knew what he had done. And Scott was right, he is deflecting. He’s taking, and creating, heat to keep their attention off of Alan, because Alan had told him he didn’t want his problems to affect his family.

 

But, it was.

 

“Virgil, stop. It’s okay.” Alan said quietly, he dropped his hand to Virgil’s shoulder. His brother turned his head to Alan, and he tried to reassure Virgil that it was fine. He turned to Scott, ignoring Virgil’s quiet call of his name.

 

“It’s not about Virgil’s nightmares. It’s about mine.”

 

“Alan,” Scott sighed, a look crossed his face that reminded him of Virgil by the poolside. The expression of an older brother realising they’d missed something important.

 

“I kept it quiet, have done from the start.” He said softly. “But after talking to Virgil, I realised that talking about it helped. He’s trying to protect me, because I didn’t want to make things worse. But I did anyway.”

 

“You didn’t.” Virgil said, his head dropped to face the table again.

 

“I kinda did,” Alan huffed. “You two were biting each other’s heads off.”

 

“Nothing new there,” Gordon muttered.

 

“Not helping,” John said as he came to stand behind Alan, slightly to the side nearest Virgil. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

 

“Because I wasn’t there and you all were, I didn’t think I had the right to add my problems to your own.”

 

“That’s ridiculous,” Gordon grumped, he stood and moved to the sink to finish what John had started, eager to do something with his hands. “Alan, you’re not excluded from this, it affects you the same whether you’re there or not.”

 

“That’s what Virgil said.”

 

“What are you dreaming about?” Scott asked, distracted from the more recent comments.

 

Virgil looked up at that, he looked between Scott and Alan. “You don’t need to answer that.”

 

“Why? Because you’re choosing not to elaborate your own?” Scott snapped, earning Virgil’s attention again.

 

“He doesn’t need to tell you, he kept it from you for a reason. Give him a chance to process this before you squirrel your way to a damn answer!” Virgil stood quickly, a wobble to the move that had become so common since his injury.

 

“He just said that talking about it helps him, stop dictating what he should do just because it’s what you’re doing!” Scott barked back, the chair scraped along the floor as he stood to meet Virgil’s own stance opposite the table.

 

“This isn’t helping,” John moved from behind Alan to stand beside him, he leaned in to break the locked eyes of Scott and Virgil. “Stop it, right now. If Alan wants to tell us, he can. Let him decide.”

 

Alan was grateful that no one looked at him then, all still locked on each other. He knew that they were choosing to keep their eyes averted, none wanted to put pressure on him. It was easy for a large family to be overwhelming with their concern, they had all learned how it felt to be studied and quickly learned to not do it to each other. He sucked in a breath and let his eyes slip shut, steeling himself for the words he was scared to say out loud. Telling Virgil was one thing, the dreams were about him after all, but Virgil also felt like a confidant, someone who would understand because he knew better than any of them how painful this whole thing had been.

 

“Virgil never made it home in my nightmares. I dream about him being dead.”

 

A plate crashed to the floor behind him and Alan whirled around, Gordon muttered an apology and crouched to pick up the broken shards. Alan moved from the table edge and squatted down to help Gordon pick up the pieces. “I’m sorry, Gordon. I’m so sorry.”

 

“Not your fault,” Gordon muttered, but the shake of his hand was hard to miss. Gordon had blamed himself for Virgil being hurt and Alan admitting his nightmares were about worse than that, could only make him feel even more dejected. Alan didn’t want this, he kept it to himself because of this and now he hated his own subconscious for being so cruel.

 

Alan looked up as John’s shadow darkened their view of the broken plate, his brother crouched with a dustpan and gestured for the pieces in their hands. Behind him, Scott and Virgil talked quietly before Scott approached. “Gordo, would you help Virgil upstairs? I need to talk to Alan.”

 

Gordon nodded with his head still dipped, he brushed off his hands and stood. Alan watched Gordon try to snag Virgil’s arm but the older brother looped it around Gordon’s shoulders, they slowly headed for the stairs and he could see Virgil talking to Gordon on their way.

 

Scott squatted down, he ran his hand through Alan’s hair. “Don’t worry about it. I know you wanted to try and fix this yourself, but it’s not that easy. You’ve not made things worse by telling us, it’s okay.”

 

“But Gordon, I didn’t want to upset him. I didn’t think he’d react like that.” Alan mumbled, he slumped down on the floor, his knees pulled up to his chest.

 

“Gordon feels responsible for what happened to Virgil, it doesn’t matter how often we tell him he wasn’t. He’ll be okay, he just needs time.” John said, he stood with the full pan and placed it on the counter. He turned and leaned back against it, legs and arms crossed.

 

Scott dropped to sit beside Alan, one knee raised to his chest, the other curled in as it rested against the floor. He wrapped an arm around Alan’s shoulders. “The only way this family can fix itself, is if we all talk about what’s hurting us. You decided that on your own, you told us that that helped you, which helps us too. You haven’t done anything wrong, you’ve done the _right_ thing.”

 

“But, Gordon-“

 

“Is with Virgil, he’s talking to him now. Don’t worry.” John said gently.

 

“I still made him react like that. I mean, who dreams about their family being dead? My head’s messed up.” Alan wrapped his arms around his knees, his head dropped into the small space between his chest and legs.

 

“You’re not the first Tracy to dream about a brother being dead, Alan.” Scott said as his arm tightened around him. “Won’t be the last.”

 

Alan lifted his head and looked at Scott, the expression on his older brother’s face told him that Scott was speaking about himself. A glance to John showed the same far away stare, but he didn’t give much away as to whether or not John met that criteria.

 

“With everything that happened, it’s not unusual that you’d dream about him not coming back. It doesn’t make you messed in the head, it makes you human.” John pushed away and sat in front of Alan, he crossed his legs and rested his elbows on his knees. “I know what it’s like to hear all hell breaking lose and being too far away to do anything but listen, but your mind is trying to cope with that shock, don’t berate it, let it heal.”

 

“Did it help?” Scott questioned as he fidgeted on the floor, his raised leg dropped and he leaned back on his free arm. “Bunking with Virg?”

 

Alan nodded. “I still had a nightmare, but waking up and seeing him there and breathing helped me go back to sleep. It calmed me down, I think.”

 

“Good.” Scott ruffled his hair. “And I meant what I said, you didn’t do anything wrong. Gordon’ll be fine, you’ll be fine. In time, we all will.”

 

“Then why do I feel worse now than I did before?”

 

“Because you’ve got too good a heart, kiddo. You thought keeping it to yourself would save us from the pain, sometimes that can work out, but other times it’s worse to hold it inside, for you. You don’t have to do this on your own, we’re a family and sharing the pain is what we do, it’s what holds us together.” Scott pulled him in and Alan dropped his head to Scott’s shoulder.

 

Alan let his eyes slip shut, a subtle gesture to give him a moment to contemplate the recent events that shattered one of the few times they enjoyed each other’s company, without a rescue looming over their heads.

 

He didn’t mean to upset Gordon, should’ve realised that it would, but with Scott and Virgil on the edge of an explosive argument he jumped in without thinking. In saving two brothers from a fallout, he injured another instead. Gordon would bounce back, he knew that, the Tracy’s were nothing if not resilient, but the guilt was still there for now. Alan couldn’t deny that opening up had helped to show him that doing this on his own was harder and unnecessary, that his brothers were more than willing to shoulder his pain alongside their own, just as he had been doing silently for them.

 

The impending blowout was coming though, he could see it. “Are you and Virgil going to be okay?”

 

Scott sighed heavily, he dropped his head onto Alan’s, just as Virgil has done that morning. “We’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

 

Alan didn’t reply. If he knew one thing about his two brothers, it was that they made the best team, but their arguments were far from gentle, both would say things they didn’t mean, both would invade each other’s space, they would push each other over the edge and one of them would lose. They cared too much, which meant they didn’t pull their punches, Alan only hoped that this time, they wouldn’t leave any scars.

 

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

 

Alan fisted another handful of popcorn from the bowl and nibbled away, his other hand flicked through the movie choices on the screen. With their sleep patterns messed up, it had been a short day and now, late in the night, he was restless. He sat in the dark of their home cinema room, a place carved out deeper in the rocky mountain behind their lounge, with movie after movie being rejected with a swipe of his hand. Someone came inside, a small patch of light from the lit hallway sneaking inside before the door closed behind the visitor.

 

Gordon flopped down alongside him. “You’ll be out of popcorn before you make your mind up.”

 

Alan shrugged and gestured toward the screen. “You pick, I don’t mind.”

 

Gordon sighed dramatically, as if put upon to do something he didn’t want to do. “Fine. Gone with the Wind, it is then.”

 

“What? No!” Alan said as he turned sharply.

 

“It’s a good movie,” Gordon laughed.

 

“No, it really isn’t.” Alan grumped, he elbowed Gordon in the ribs playfully.

 

“Ow! Okay, okay. Something else.”

 

Neither one of them had the attention span to spare, so they both chose to watch an action movie that they’d seen so many times before. The hero chasing down the bad guy, gets beaten so badly a normal human being wouldn’t be able to function, but still manages to get up and get the girl too. Reality is much harder, much more emotionally overwhelming and physically difficult, so it was relaxing to let this fantasy draw him away for a while.

 

Gordon reached for more popcorn, an action that pulled Alan’s attention from the film. His brother seemed much better now, after the day had passed along and his obvious talk with Virgil after his revelation at lunch/breakfast.

 

Gordon noticed his eyes on him and turned to face him. “What? Have I got popcorn stuck to my face?” He rubbed around his mouth to check.

 

“No, you’re fine.” Alan replied with a single shake of his head, he turned back to the movie. “Sorry, didn’t mean to stare.”

 

Gordon breathed out heavily beside him, he shifted and Alan squeaked in surprise when Gordon’s head dropped onto his lap. He fidgeted uncomfortably. “Dude, your legs are too bony to be a pillow.”

 

“Then move,” Alan replied. He reached to his side and grabbed a pillow, batted Gordon square on the face before offering it to him. Gordon protested at the treatment but proceeded to place it carefully under his head.

 

“Much better,” he sighed.

 

“Anything else you want, your highness? Maybe some peeled grapes?”

 

“Popcorn is fine, thank you.” Gordon replied with a regal wave of his hand.

 

Alan reached to his other side for the neglected bowl, he dropped it on Gordon’s stomach none too gently, earning an ‘oomf’ from his brother.

 

They stayed that way for some time, well into their second movie and Alan found that each minute that passed seemed to pull a little more weight from his shoulders. The Gordon lying here was not the Gordon from earlier, and it didn’t go unnoticed that that was his brother’s intention, a silent confirmation that he was fine.

 

Alan took it for what it was, a sign that they’d taken another step forward, closer to the normality they all wanted back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I doubt the next chapter will be up before Christmas, so I'd just like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. :) I hope you all have a lovely time. :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry for the delay. :(
> 
> A huge thank you to Elizabeth Bartram, Mars_McKie, Hsg, lexibirds, and the wonderful Thesilentone for taking the time to leave a comment, I really appreciate it. I know I take forever to do anything, so I really am grateful that you have been so patient with me. :)
> 
> And thank you to those who have left Kudos and to those who have read this story so far, I hope I've kept you entertained enough to stay until the end (whenever I get there XD). :)
> 
> Just one warning for a little profanity in the story, it's literally one word from Scott, but thought I should mention it. I've tried to keep it clean but that one stuck.

Breakfast was a quiet affair, Scott found his eyes focused on his plate and tried hard not to let his mood show. It had been a little over a week since he and Virgil had exchanged words, from then on there were nothing more than greetings for the benefit of their brothers who silently watched on. As he cut into his egg and forked it into his mouth, he heard Gordon let out a heavy sigh.

 

It was unfair, Scott thought, that they should have to feel the effects of his and Virgil’s forced silence but after years of sibling arguments, each had learnt to let them handle their own issues. Getting involved often led to more disagreements along the way, with each other taking sides and after a while the entire brood would be at each other’s throats. So, they had come to the conclusion that whatever was wrong was best left to those involved, with only the rarest of exceptions.

 

Currently, Virgil was spooning around his cereal with his head rested on his fist, as much as Scott could tell with his peripheral vision. His brother had developed the habit of playing with his food post injury, which Scott had previously assumed was due to lack of appetite, now he considered the motion a habit of nerves or tension. It was expected in this situation, because you could cut the atmosphere in their kitchen with a knife right now.

 

“So,” Gordon said, breaking the silence. Scott looked up and at him, with his brothers following suit. “I was wondering, what with our lack of rescues yesterday, if we’re lucky enough to have a repeat, how about a day at the beach?”

 

“I wouldn’t say no to that,” Alan replied eagerly.

 

Gordon and Alan high-fived as the former continued. “We can take the pods, zip back here faster if we’re needed for a job. Even John could come along, EOS can keep an eye on things up in Five.”

 

“We do have responsibilities here, you know. The downtime could be better spent making sure we’re ready should a call come in.” Scott reminded them, but Gordon seemed unfazed as he waved away Scott’s concern.

 

“Ah, live a little, Scotty. You of all people could do with the break.”

 

“Yeah,” Alan chimed in. “Have you seen your eyes lately? You’re turning into a panda.”

 

The two brothers chuckled amongst themselves as Scott shook his head in amusement, he glanced at Virgil and saw a warm smile on his lips as he watched their younger siblings.

 

“And you, my dear wounded brother,” Gordon said as he pointed at Virgil. “You get an extra treat. With the aid of some carefully chosen floatation devices, you get to experience today’s physio session in the sea.”

 

“How is that a perk?” Virgil cried indignantly. “That just sounds like more torture.”

 

“Admittedly, you’d have to work harder because of the current.” Gordon leaned back and lifted his arms above his head in a stretch. “But it’s all for a good cause, which means you’ll be excited to get started.”

 

“I’ll be excited to hold you under the damn water,” Virgil muttered quietly.

 

Gordon, who clearly heard the comment, chose to ignore it in favour of snatching up an apple and heading for the stairs. “I’ll go pack everything we’ll need.”

 

“Your brother is a monster,” Virgil said to Alan, who stood and shrugged uncaring, he quickly followed after Gordon.

 

“I’m going to break the good news to John, then there’s a few things I want to bring too.”

 

With the two excited brothers out of the room, the mood plummeted rapidly, Scott watched as Virgil dropped his gaze away, stood and carried his bowl to the sink.

 

Scott sighed in frustration and followed with his own plate. “Are we really going to continue like this?”

 

“Like what?” Virgil muttered as he rested his crutch to the side and rinsed his bowl.

 

“You know what I’m talking about.” Scott placed his plate down and turned to lean back against the countertop, he crossed his arms over his chest and watched Virgil wash the bowl. “Do you even realise why they suggested this in the first place? They’re sick of us not talking, the mood around here is depressing and they’re trying to help.”

 

“I know,” Virgil answered with his attention still averted.

 

Scott growled low as he pushed away from the counter, he walked to the table and piled the used kitchenware that his brothers failed to remove in their eagerness to leave. He took them back to the counter and unceremoniously dropped them onto the surface. “Can you at least answer with more than two syllables?”

 

“Of course I can,” Virgil replied childishly, he turned to scowl at Scott before automatically reaching for the new soiled items on the counter.

 

“Okay,” Scott huffed. “I’ll rephrase that. How about we talk about what’s really bugging us both by exchanging longer sentences.”

 

“Now that,” Virgil gestured in the air with a washed fork. “Is not going to happen.”

 

“If you were anyone else, I’d leave you to wallow in your own self-pity.” Scott replied.

 

“Oh wow,” Virgil mocked. “I’m touched that you consider me so special.”

 

"Damn it, Virgil." Scott slammed his palm down hard, his skin instantly stinging from the strength of the slap. He ignored it in favour of glaring at his nonplussed brother. "I'm trying, here. I seem to be the only one that is, too."

 

Virgil turned at that, snatching the nearby towel up as he did and briskly rubbed his hands dry. "No, you're the only one that's pushing. There's a huge difference."

 

"Is that what all this is about?" Scott answered, confused by Virgil's reply. "Short, deflective comments and snide remarks all because I ask too many questions?"

 

"You promised me that you'd give me time," Virgil countered with a firm jab of his finger to Scott's chest. "But you're not, are you? Because so far, all you do is prod and poke at me any chance you get."

 

"Oh, I gave you time, Virg." Scott snarled back. "You're just running out of it, because if you think I'm going to let you back in the air the way things are, you're sorely mistaken."

 

"So, I'm not fit to fly but you are?" Virgil growled as he closed the distance between them. "Alan's right, you know, you're exhausted. If any of them looked the way you do now, you'd ground them too. You're a hypocrite."

 

Scott straightened to his full height, he wasn't ashamed to use every inch of it to tower over his shorter brother. "Oh, so you want to fix me now, is that it? You've worked your way through every other brother that I'm the only one left? I can't decide if you're being selfless and pushing your own issues aside for them, or selfish for using it as a way to deflect attention from you."

 

"Don't be so ridiculous," Virgil muttered indignantly, he frowned up at Scott. "If you're looking to score points, there are plenty of other ways to do it."

 

"You didn't answer though, did you?" Scott crossed his arms over his chest. "Which one is it?"

 

"You even have to ask?" Virgil turned his head away and back to the sink, he resumed cleaning the dishes. "I wouldn't do that to them and you know it."

 

"If anyone's the hypocrite here, it's you." Scott reached for Virgil's shoulder and applied pressure to steer his brother back around. "You're there for them, listening to them and letting them get things off their chest. You see what good it is for them, but you still refuse to talk about your own problems."

 

"I don't _make_ them talk!" Virgil snapped as he smacked his hand against Scott's arm to dislodge him. "What don't you understand, Scott? Why is it so hard for you to back off and leave me alone?"

 

"Because you'd be the same!" Scott shouted, his frustration reaching boiling point. "Tell me you wouldn't, tell me that if I was hurt you'd leave me alone because I told you to."

 

Virgil blinked, his gaze turned inward as his mind raced, either to come up with a suitable response or assessing Scott's words, he didn't know. Scott took the opportunity to close the distance and tip his head lower. "You wouldn't back off, no matter what I said, so don't expect me to."

 

Virgil huffed a sardonic laugh, he looked at Scott with piercing eyes. "I'll tell you what, you start getting more than a couple of hours sleep a day and I'll start singing like a canary."

 

Scott leaned in close, his own eyes narrowed. "I'd sleep a lot better knowing you weren't thrashing in your bed because a nightmare is ripping your mind to pieces."

 

If Scott was looking to push buttons, he found the right one. Virgil shoved him hard, which Scott hadn't expected so suddenly, but the motion sent Virgil off balance as well. They both managed to keep their footing, but Scott recovered quicker. With Virgil leaning back against the counter, Scott crowded him so much that he had to lean back to maintain the distance. "Consider this. If you didn't have that crutch, you'd have a tougher time getting around. Even tougher if we weren't here to help you. You haven't turned away anyone when it comes to your legs, so don't you think it's stupid that you'd accept help for one problem but not the other?"

 

"Back off," Virgil growled in warning.

 

“Or what?” Scott hissed. “You’ll swing for me, this time?”

 

“If it works,” Virgil snarled. “Because you’re certainly not listening when I open my mouth.”

 

“But you’re not _saying_ anything,” Scott countered as he moved back enough to allow Virgil to straighten. “And that’s just making things worse.”

 

“What I choose to keep to myself is my problem.”

 

“It’s not!” Scott barked suddenly. Virgil twitched with the outburst but his expression remained furious. “It’s _our_ problem! You’re so closed off that you’re scaring the shit out of them, they don’t know how to deal with this, none of us do, all the time you’re not giving us something to work with.”

 

“So this is the way you want to do this?” Virgil shouted. “Make me feel so guilty that you _force_ me to open my mouth?”

 

“I am _trying_ to make you understand,” Scott gripped Virgil’s arms tight, his brother tried to shake him off but he held firm. “Each of us dealing with the accident is only part of it, but we’re watching our brother suffer and our hands are tied. You _have_ to realise how much that hurts.”

 

Virgil didn’t reply. They stood silent for some time, facing off against each other until Scott finally relented with a growl of frustration. He released his hold and backed off, Virgil simply remained where he was as Scott shook his head in defeat and walked away.  

 

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

 

Scott was tempted to send his brothers to the beach without him, but he quickly dismissed the notion considering his own feelings should not affect his brothers and the scarce free time they had right now. If anything, he could actively avoid Virgil by spending the day sleeping under the warmth of the sun. He had no doubt that his brothers would be making an effort to keep Virgil entertained, knowing that they would want Scott to take the opportunity to recharge his batteries.

 

It was an ideal situation, really. One needed the motion, the activity; the other needed the rest.

 

When they had reached the beach, they each took time to set up their spots and lay out the items they had brought with them. Gordon and Alan didn't waste time by heading for the sea, splashing in without a care. John settled himself down with a book to Scott's left, with Virgil taking a space beside John. Their poor brother had unwittingly (or deliberately) placed himself between them. Scott adjusted his sunglasses before laying back to rest his head in his joined hands, he closed his eyes and sighed heavily.

 

Scott considered his earlier argument with Virgil, played back the situation and regretted some of the things he had said during the heated exchange. But a part of him had meant the intent behind them, even if the harshness of the words had lowered his brother's opinion of him in the process.

 

He had no intention of letting Virgil back in the air until he had at least revealed something about his nightmares, he couldn't, in good conscience, allow his brother back on the job if there was any question about his decision-making abilities. If Virgil wanted to fly again, it didn't take a genius to work out what he needed to do. He trusted that Virgil understood his reasoning, even if he outwardly questioned Scott at every turn.

 

"The chilly vibe you're both emitting is enough to rival the sun, right now." John said nonchalantly as he turned a page in his book.

 

"I hope you've put on enough sunscreen," Scott replied in an indifferent tone. "Otherwise your hair won't be the only part of you that's red."

 

"Yes, mother." John said. The shock of something landing on his stomach had him peeking open an eye. He glanced down his body to see the sunscreen spray that John had obviously tossed at him. "Sunscreen also applies to those of us that are irritatingly able to tan without burning too."

 

"Please tell me that isn't the super strength one that Brains cooked up." Virgil said. He was out of view for Scott to see him, but the tone of voice was a practised calm. He was as equally still upset as Scott was apparently.

 

"No," John replied, still focused on his book. "And don't think I haven't noticed the two of you trying to deflect. I swear, you're so similar that I can't tell if I should be scared or reaching over to the pair of you and knocking your heads together."

 

"I prefer you being scared." Virgil replied.

 

"Don't think I won't try it, "John said as he ignored Virgil's comment. "I have two other brothers willing to help me out."

 

"As if that would solve anything," Scott muttered, he picked up the sunscreen as he sat up, spraying it onto his arms and rubbing it in.

 

"It would make me _and them_ ," John gestured to the ocean, "feel better, I'm sure."

 

"Your point?" Virgil said with a questioning tone.

 

"My point," John sighed as he closed the book and lowered it to his side. "Is that if you two don't come to some sort of agreement, then you're asking for an intervention, which we are not really great at doing."

 

Considering that their involvement would only make things far more complicated, Scott relented slightly. "I've made my point perfectly clear, it's not my problem that Virgil is as stubborn as a rock."

 

"Hey, pot," Virgil leaned forward so he could see around John and glare at Scott. "Meet, kettle."

 

"I'm not the one who insists on keeping his issues inside, Virgil."

 

"Oh yeah? When was the last time you opened up about yourself, huh?"

 

"Every damn day, which apparently passes you by since you can't see that."

 

"And what part of yourself do you reveal?" Virgil countered, he jabbed his finger toward Scott and invaded John's space in the process. "Because apparently I'm too blind to see it, how about you enlighten me."

 

"Considerably more than you," Scott snapped back. "At least I'm not lying to myself."

 

"You aren't taking care of yourself, you're not sleeping properly, you handle as many jobs as you can when you could easily ask the others to help. You're stubbornly ignoring your own body and you're going to crash soon if you don't take better care of yourself." Virgil was practically leaning over John now, the latter leaning back to give Virgil a clear line of sight to Scott.

 

"My stress levels would be remarkably lower if a certain brother wasn't being so idiotic as to try and handle things all by himself!" Scott barked back.

 

"Okay, time out." John cut in, he raised his hands, palms out toward each of his brothers. "Are either of you actually hearing each other? You both just accused each other of doing the same thing, ignoring your own issues. The two of you together are the best at brainstorming any situation that comes your way, I suggest that you try it now without trying to rip each other's heads off. I'm going for a swim, there better not be blood on my towel when I get back."

 

With that, John stood and calmly walked away.

 

Scott watched him go, his heart pounding in his chest that he hadn't noticed until John had broken up the argument and the silence took over. He took deep breaths to calm it down, his eyes softly closed to cut off one of his senses and allow the calming wash of the waves against the shore in the distance to sooth him.

 

"Why won't you talk to me?"

 

Virgil sighed heavily. "Why are you slowly killing yourself?"

 

"That's not what I'm doing." Scott replied as he turned his head to look at his brother.

 

"Not consciously," Virgil shrugged, his gaze aimed at the ocean ahead. "But I'm here, day after day and I see you slowly getting worse. I wasn't wrong, you are taking on more than you need to."

 

"Because I have to," Scott replied. He followed Virgil and looked out over the water, their brothers were close together and he couldn't miss the concerned looks that each chanced to show in turn. It was clear that John had updated them on their recent exchange, if the worry he saw was anything to go by.

 

"You don't have to," Virgil complained with a frustrated exhale. "You're choosing to, for whatever reason, you're actively deciding to take on that workload. Are you _that_ scared that one of them will get hurt too?"

 

Scott shook his head in reply and tipped it down to focus on the ground between his knees. He _was_ scared, because to say anything different would be a lie. He couldn't prevent them from leaving the island and being a part of International Rescue, couldn't stop them all from doing what they were trained to do, but he could limit the risk as much as possible. If it meant that he took on more work to satisfy his fears, then so be it. It was irrational to suddenly fear the jobs that they had carried out all these years, it wasn't exactly questioning their abilities, more worry for the variables that could tip the scales against them.

 

Virgil hadn't made any mistakes when the accident resulted in his broken legs, the variables that they hadn't assessed well enough had. It was a miscalculation, an overconfidence that had allowed his brother to be severely injured. It had been Scott's mistake that led to this whole situation.

 

As the resident medic, Virgil should have been with the people they had pulled from the cave, not him. But none of the injuries had been severe and Scott had just been the closest body, it was simply logistics that had him inside Thunderbird Two and not Virgil.

 

He had been complacent, too relaxed in the situation when he should have been more focused on his job and considered what could go wrong. His brothers are the most important thing in the world, it should be second-nature to protect them in any circumstance.

 

"You have that same haunted look as Gordon, you know." Virgil said quietly.

 

Scott looked up and at his brother, Virgil looked at him now with a sad acceptance. Scott shook his head in denial, not for Virgil's words, but in anger at himself.

 

"We all made choices that didn't go our way, that day." Virgil continued. "But that doesn't mean you have to change the way you live now. You're damn good at your job, there's plenty of people out there alive because of you to prove that."

 

"So, I should weigh those against the one time my judgement left you suffering and consider it a win?" Scott countered, his voice was thick with emotion. "Carry on as normal and ignore it?"

 

Virgil shook his head. "If it was that easy, none of us would be hurting this badly. We're the human element of our machines, Scott, they don't have to deal with emotional fallout."

 

"Then what's your point?"

 

Virgil looked away. "My point is, you can't do this alone... and neither can I."

 

Scott didn't get the chance to speak further, their brothers returned and John thumbed towards the pods. "Grandma called, we're needed."

 

"Why didn't I hear anything?" Scott asked as he stood and watched Gordon and Alan gather together the items haphazardly scattered around them.

 

"Because I asked EOS to reroute your comms so you two could chat in peace." John replied as he picked up his towel. He scrutinised it before folding it. "Hmm, no blood."

 

"Funny," Scott muttered as he helped Virgil to his feet.

 

Alan scowled as he shoved his things into his bag. "Knew it was too good to last."

 

"It's not like the sun's in short supply around here," Gordon supplied with a shrug. "We can come back."

 

"Yeah, but when?"

 

Scott let the banter continue as he helped Virgil to the pods, it wasn't easy getting him in but once settled they were quickly heading back to the villa.

 

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

 

The rescue had been arduous, exhausting and long. The added issue of reporting to the GDF had lengthened the time away from home, but Scott had allowed his brothers to remain with him rather than send them on ahead of him. After his talk with Virgil, he had decided that there were indeed times when he didn’t need to push them away and let them stay and support him. Talking to the GDF wasn't a circumstance that would put them at risk and they were more than happy to remain and offer input.

 

It was late when they finally landed, the villa was dark and they tried to keep as quiet as possible. Gordon had shuffled off with a tired yawn, whilst Scott gently coerced an exhausted Alan to his own room. He had checked in with John when both ships had arrived and settled in their hangars, he gave instructions that his brother get some sleep, EOS had made it clear that it wouldn't be a problem.

 

Before he retired to his own room, he stopped outside Virgil's closed bedroom door and debated checking on him. His brother had been right with his view on Scott's obsession, he didn't want them to be placed in dangerous situations if he could actively avoid them. If that meant taking as many of the rescues as possible, then that's what he did. It was stupid, to be so overprotective, to regress to his younger dedications when they were all fully grown and capable. It was also disrespectful to them as the talented, able individuals that they had become. But he simply couldn't help it.

 

Scott owed them the credit they deserved, a leader appreciated and utilised every member of his team for their strengths and experience, their abilities under pressure and unwavering determination. But he was also the oldest brother, with ties to his siblings that would never erode away. He shouldn't allow his feelings to get in the way but it was impossible that they couldn't, not after what had happened to Virgil.

 

He sighed at his own thoughts before quietly opening his brother's bedroom door. The dim light from the hall did little to show inside the room, but the focused strip fell on Virgil's face. He was turned on his side, one arm tucked under his pillow as the other hung limply over the edge of the bed. His legs were covered, but his brother's movements had left his torso bare. Scott crept inside and approached the bed, he reached for the blanket and tugged to cover him fully but Virgil's movement held him still.

 

Virgil squinted his eyes open, a frown on his face as he sleepily took in what was happening. He blinked and lifted up onto his elbow, a palm rubbed at his eye as he yawned. "Scott?"

 

"Sorry," he replied with a warm smile. "Go back to sleep."

 

Virgil groaned and shuffled back, gesturing with his hand for Scott to sit on the bed. "You know, we're not kids anymore."

 

"I know," Scott nodded as he lowered gently and perched on the edge of the mattress.

 

"You don't need to tuck us in," Virgil continued.

 

"I know."

 

"Then why do it?"

 

Scott shrugged. "Old habits, I guess."

 

Virgil sighed, he sat up and shuffled closer to the head of the bed. ""Scott-"

 

"You were right," Scott interrupted. "I am trying to do as much as I can, not just with rescues. And it wasn't that I didn't notice it, I actively chose to ignore it, because I felt I had to, needed to."

 

Virgil rubbed his hands over his face, sliding up both to comb through his hair. "But you don’t, because they can handle themselves just fine and you know that."

 

"What happened to you shouldn't have happened," Scott replied as he shook his head. "I can't allow it to happen again."

 

"You can't prevent it."

 

"I can try."

 

"And kill yourself in the process," Virgil reached for Scott's shoulder to turn his attention to him. "Scott, I told you at the beach that you can't do this alone and none of us expect you to, so why should _you_?"

 

Scott didn't reply. He watched as Virgil exhaled heavily and leaned back against the headboard. "We're our own worst enemies."

 

Scott nodded. "We are."

 

"We should do something about that."

 

Scott tipped his head in silent question, Virgil turned his eyes to him. "What I said in the kitchen, about you taking it easy and I start singing like a canary?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"How about we do that?"

 

"Okay." Scott replied. He didn't want to break the relaxed atmosphere with any jubilant motion, but Virgil's offer of communication removed a weight from Scott's shoulders. He wanted to show how pleased he was, but he also worried that if he did, Virgil would rescind his suggestion entirely if he made a big deal out of it.

 

"But not tonight," Virgil said quickly to curb any potential effort from Scott for elaboration. He shuffled back down and under his blanket. "Go to bed and get some sleep, unless you want a new nickname that'll be panda related."

 

"You're not going to back out of this in the morning, are you?" Scott asked as he stood. He hoped that Virgil wouldn't, at least now he had him agreeing to involve him in his issues, if he had any hope of finding answers, he didn't want to lose the opportunity by waiting any longer.

 

"I said I would," Virgil replied as he shifted to get comfortable. "I mean that."

 

"Okay." Scott reluctantly agreed. He padded to the door but stopped before stepping out. "What changed your mind?"

 

Virgil sighed, a sign that the question was heavier than he wanted it to be. He peeled open his eyes and stared silently before answering. "I hoped I could figure this out without getting any of you involved, because I didn't want to hurt you more than I already had. But I'm still hurting you and that has to stop."

 

"Virgil-"

 

“I haven’t spoken about it because I don’t know what to tell you, that’s the truth.” Virgil replied. He yawned and closed his eyes again. “The rest can wait for the morning.”

 

Scott opened his mouth, ready to continue the conversation but at the last minute, he replied: “Goodnight, Virg.”

 

“Night.”

 

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

 

Scott blinked awake and immediately something was wrong. It was daylight, plenty of it, bleeding into his room. He frowned and turned to his clock on the side table and immediately had his answer.

 

Someone had turned it off. Not just his alarm, the whole thing.

 

Still half asleep, he fumbled for his watch and knocked it to the ground with his uncoordinated fingers. He yawned as he leaned over the edge of the bed to reach for it, when he finally had it in his hand and pulled himself back up, he spotted the folded paper by his pillow. Leaving the watch for a moment, he picked up the paper and opened it. A simple message, no signature but it didn’t matter since Scott could tell easily that Virgil had written it.

 

_Don’t complain. You needed it._

Scott huffed in amusement. He couldn’t complain, he’d pulled the same trick on Virgil plenty of times over the years. He placed the paper on the side table, on its edge so that the words faced his pillow, a reminder for him now that things would be different. He’d made a promise to take it easy, although in his line of work it would be impossible to relent completely, but if he took care of himself, then Virgil would do the same and that was all that mattered.

 

He still hadn’t glanced at his watch until he’d finished his morning routine, he scooped it up as his other hand briskly rubbed the towel over his head. He let it fall to his shoulders as he read the watch face. He’d slept through breakfast and lunch, four in the afternoon, no wonder he was hungry.

 

He made his way to the kitchen and Grandma sat at the table watching his brothers in the pool, he followed her gaze and already he noticed the difference. It was another physiotherapy session, but both Gordon and Virgil seemed happier somehow.

 

“I take it the two of you finally talked.” She said as she turned and stood. She made her way to him and cupped his cheeks, her thumbs rubbed under his eyes. “You look better.”

 

“I _feel_ better,” Scott replied with a smile. “Can’t believe I slept that long.”

 

“You’re too young to run yourself into the ground,” Grandma dropped her hands and headed for the counter, Scott followed and she poured coffee into a mug and handed it to him. “You have your whole life ahead of you, yet.”

 

He didn’t reply as she poured her own coffee and headed back to the table. They sat facing each other. His Grandma wrapped her hands around the mug and lifted her head to meet his eyes. “I want you to take some time off.”

 

Scott opened his mouth to reply but she raised her hand to halt him. “You need it. _He_ needs it.” She gestured with a tip of her head in the direction of the pool.

 

“We’re already a man down, we can’t afford to have two out of commission.” Scott argued.

 

“We’ll be just fine,” Grandma replied, she lifted her chin to challenge him. “You and Virgil, however, won’t be if you’re so overwhelmed with work and worrying about him. And he needs to stop worrying about you and focus on his own recovery.”

 

“But-“

 

“I’ve already spoken to everyone,” she interrupted. “They’ve all agreed. They’ll focus on International Rescue, you focus on both you and your brother. Considering his change in mood and you sleeping the longest you have in months, we all think now is the time to let you both put this family back on track.”

 

Scott stared at her, his mouth hanging open. She smiled and reached out to cover his hand on the table. “We’ve given you the hardest job, because you’re the only one who’s managed to get through to him, keeping him from closing up again is going to be tough. Help him figure this out and give yourself chance to rest, you know it’s the right thing to do.”

 

Scott lowered his head with a sigh. Pulling away from International Rescue felt wrong in so many ways, it was a part of him and he never could switch off from it. It wasn’t just a job, it was his life and knowingly turning his back on it left him uneasy. Leaving his brothers to handle the work alone only helped to strengthen his fears, his compulsive urge to be with them would be difficult to tame. But that was his problem, one that his Grandma had seen and attempted to reassure, but words alone when his mind was in turmoil wouldn’t cover it. It required his own strength to push that fear aside for the time being, if he could. Grandma knew he would struggle with the idea, but she wouldn’t be deterred and if she wanted to she could find a way to force his grounding. Instead she chose to reason with him, to make it clear that leaving International Rescue behind for a short time would ultimately benefit it in the long run.

 

He had been convinced he could handle both, that he could help Virgil and continue his work. In reality, dedicating himself to fixing what was broken instead of changing the bandage every so often was the better course of action.

 

“Fine,” he nodded and lifted his head to face her again. A new fear trickled in, one that worried he wouldn’t be able to at least observe, he needed to know where he stood. “Do we have to leave the island?”

 

“No.” Grandma shook her head softly. “If you want to, you can but Virgil still needs his physiotherapy. Gordon says he can show you what needs to be done if it comes to it.”

 

“I’ll speak to Virgil,” Scott replied with relief, staying would be his choice, but his brother deserved his own say in the matter. He lifted his coffee and sipped. It had cooled enough for him to gulp it down entirely.

 

“Good,” she lifted her own mug and sipped gently. “Now, how about helping me with dinner.”

 

Scott nodded his agreement. As they spent time preparing and cooking the family’s evening meal, he wondered how far he would be able to get with his brother. Admitting that he was ready to talk was only one step in the process, this wouldn’t fix everything in a day, they still had to figure out what was bothering Virgil so much that he had chosen to isolate himself for so long.

 

And Scott had a few personal issues that he had to deal with, too. So, was this really the beginning of the end? Or merely the end of the beginning.

 

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry for the long delay. So many reasons for it, but the most pivotal is that this chapter was hard. I have five different versions for this one and I was prepared to post the fifth version then I read it and decided I hated it, so I looked back and the unfinished version three ended up being added to and finalised (in two days). Sadly, I'm not happy with this one either, but I couldn't do any better and it was the best of a bad bunch. So I'm really sorry if it's terrible. :(
> 
> I need to thank those lovely people who have left comments and kept me writing with their kind words. A massive, massive thank you to the wonderful Thesilentone, lexibirds, Hsg, Elizabeth+Bartram and Mars_McKie I really appreciate it, thank you. :)
> 
> And thank you to those who have left Kudos and for those that have read and stuck with this story even with my super slow updates. :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Thunderbirds or International Rescue, I'm just borrowing them for fun.

Chapter 10.

 

Virgil startled awake with a yell, eyes widened to the dark and panic from the nightmare shaking his body. He twisted quickly and fumbled for the lamp beside him as his own heavy breaths filled the silence, but that changed as Scott pushed his door open and came in in a hurry just as Virgil reached the switch.

 

“You okay?” He said as he perched on the edge of Virgil’s bed and wrapped a warm hand around his arm. Virgil had come to discover that he had missed the contact now that he wasn’t pushing Scott away, especially after waking so abruptly from the cold and loneliness that lingered after he woke. He nodded automatically but frowned when he considered that he obviously wasn’t and Scott knew that. He shook his head in correction even as Scott shifted to lean with him against the headboard and looped an arm over his shoulders.

 

“Wanna tell me about it?”

 

Virgil sighed and leaned his head back to rest on Scott’s arm. “Same as always. Trapped, screaming and terrified.”

 

There was more to tell, but Virgil was still too close to the dream to want to elaborate further. He shuddered, but not from the cool of the night. Scott’s hand tightened on his shoulder, his other lifted and took a firm grip of the hand Virgil left lifelessly on his lap. “Take your time. Breathe.”

 

Virgil lifted his head to nod, looked down at their joined hands and squeezed. He didn’t want to let go, to lose the contact so soon after waking and have the nightmare overpower him as it often did when he faced them alone.

 

 He had to admit that the agreement they had made with each other was something he should have done a long time ago, especially knowing how much easier it was to keep the nightmares from consuming him with Scott’s support. His brother had become increasingly tactile since that arrangement, seeing Virgil’s discomfort and reading the improvement that occurred all because Scott grabbed on and didn’t let go. He’d made a point of showing openly that he was there for him in any way he needed it, either through touch or speech, or merely by sitting with him until Virgil was confident enough to react. The dramatic change should be overwhelming but it wasn’t because Scott had altered anything about himself, he was still as he had always been, Virgil was the one who behaved differently now and he was only just realising how much of a mistake it was that he had kept Scott at bay.

 

Scott’s thumb rubbed gently across his skin, soothing his nerves and giving him something to focus on. The repetitive motion was comforting, relaxing and after a time he looked up and turned to his brother.

 

Scott smiled. “Okay now?”

 

“Yeah,” Virgil replied. He didn’t have the energy to reciprocate with a smile of his own. “You’d think every time I close my eyes at night, knowing it’s going to happen would make it easier but it doesn’t.”

 

“Dreams don’t work that way,” Scott supplied as he shifted without relinquishing his contact to get comfortable. “As far as your mind is concerned, you’re down there all over again.”

 

“Don’t I know it,” Virgil grumbled miserably. “Just wish I knew what I’m supposed to do about it.”

 

“Talking,” Scott said with a shrug. “Usually a good place to start.”

 

Virgil turned away and let his eyes slide shut, he took in a deep breath and puffed it out quickly. He’d made a promise to talk to Scott, which he fully intended to honour but finding the words wasn’t as easy or simple as he wanted it to be. It meant talking about his fears to the bravest man he knew, opening up about insecurities that shouldn’t be possible for someone who had put his life on the line before but now struggled to believe he could do so again. Telling Scott that his accident had shattered him in more ways than one wasn’t something he could blurt out in one sentence, even if he could start at all.

 

After the accident, Virgil had been overwhelmed, confused and unfocused with physical injury and nightmares that left his thoughts in disarray. He had plenty of time in his self-imposed hospital stay to think, but all he had discovered was the doubt that had settled in his gut. The questions that he had no answers to frustrated him and without any idea of where to go, he had chosen to keep his family in the dark. When he actually thought about it, hindsight showed it was a stupid idea, but he still knew why he had. It was bad enough that they had to see him so physically broken and their faces showed that much when they watched him strain just to sit up in bed, but to see inside his head and witness the damage was too much for him to tolerate. He couldn’t face the possibility that they would see him differently, weaker and vulnerable.

 

As time progressed, he had settled into a new kind of self-isolation, one where his initial fears only festered and grew with each day. Witnessing his family suffering because of his pain compounded his situation, resulting in him trying to repair the damage that he had inflicted on them.

 

Gordon worried him, even though Virgil had spoken to his brother frequently that the accident was not his fault, he still couldn’t get through to him. Gordon still blamed himself for not catching Virgil, even though he understood that if he had he wouldn’t have been able to stop his fall. They both would have taken that tumble and Virgil didn’t want to consider the outcome if that had happened.

 

For all his reassurances and how ineffective they were to convince his brother, Virgil couldn’t bring himself to show to Gordon how much more damaged he really was. If it meant sending his brother spiralling further into guilt, he knew that staying quiet was for the best.

 

Even high up in Thunderbird Five, John’s anxiety whenever his brothers were knee deep in a rescue was noticeable, isolated in space and powerless to help had turned John into a nervous wreck as he watched events unfold. The incident with the trawler that had him remote piloting Thunderbird Four had unnerved him so much that he had returned to Earth just to chew Gordon out. Virgil had spent time with him then, doing his best to ease his fears and assure him that his accident shouldn’t change how he looked at their rescues. It did little good, although his treatment of Gordon improved he still watched them all like a hawk.

 

John had heard him fall, his desperate cries had reached high up to Thunderbird Five and John could only listen. He didn’t need to burden John with more, being powerless to stop something from happening had hurt him. Virgil recognised the irony of how powerless John must feel right now as he urged Virgil to talk, but what he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him further and that’s what mattered to Virgil.

 

Poor Alan is the one that none of them want to see suffer, the youngest earned the most concern as he was their baby brother with still so much life ahead of him. It was natural to want to wrap him up and keep him safe, Virgil did his best to help Alan keep his nightmares away by giving him the thing his nightmares took so wickedly. To learn that he had been holding his pain inside was horrible, that he couldn’t confide in anyone out of a sense of protection was commendable but still something that Virgil had taken badly. His brother had kept his secret far better than Virgil had his own, but it was that revelation and Alan’s decision to confide in his family that had made Virgil reconsider his choices.

 

Scott had taken on more than he should, burdening himself with as much as he could manage and then some. His fears had pushed him to his limits and Virgil didn’t want to weigh him down with more, but Scott didn’t back down even with Virgil’s efforts. It was Scott who had tipped the scales fully, his usually controlled emotions had reached boiling point and it wasn’t just his words that had convinced Virgil to speak. The anger that his brother displayed from frustration and futility was enough for Virgil to see that his silence was doing more harm than good.

 

Virgil was torn between his protective nature to shelter his siblings from pain and the humiliation of his weakness, both combined convinced him that silence was the better choice. But he now realised that they were hurting from his silence, a different kind of pain than the one he tried to spare them from.

 

“What’s going through that head of yours, right now?” Scott said softly, breaking Virgil from his thoughts. He blinked and turned to his brother.

 

“Just thinking,” he replied equally as gentle.

 

“About what?”

 

Virgil shrugged. “About how much of an idiot I’ve been lately.”

 

Scott sighed and squeezed his shoulder. “You did what you thought was right.”

 

“That doesn’t justify it,” Virgil countered with a shake of his head.

 

“I know we all pushed you to talk, but if it’s _that_ difficult for you you’re going to try and protect yourself.” Scott replied.

 

“Still, I should’ve said something sooner.”

 

“So, why haven’t you?” Scott kept his tone light, either to assure Virgil that there was no reprimand in his question or to encourage him to answer.

 

It wouldn’t be the first time that Virgil admitted to his brother that he was afraid, but this was so much harder to acknowledge. “I was scared.”

 

Scott turned to study him, his expression neutral. “Of what?”

 

He couldn’t give Scott the truth, not yet, not until he knew exactly where he stood. Instead he opted for another truth that was close enough to the point. “The nightmares were bad, they left me feeling…frightened, confused. I started to question everything, second guessing myself.”

 

“Such as?” Scott frowned in concern.

 

Honesty was hard, Virgil decided. His body didn’t approve of the pressure as it began to tremble with nerves, Scott squeezed his hand in reassurance. “If I’ll be good enough, if I can do the job again.”

 

“I know you can,” Scott replied.

 

“You don’t know that,” Virgil snapped, suddenly angry. He pulled his hand free and shuffled to the edge of the bed awkwardly, Scott let him go but didn’t follow. “How could you? Not until I’m out there and then we’ll have to wait and see if I freeze up. You depend on me, how can you trust me with that kind of uncertainty?”

 

“Because I know you, Virg.” Scott countered. “I know that you can overcome this.”

 

“I don’t think I can,” Virgil muttered miserably. “You don’t know what it’s like. I broke my legs and it’s as if I’ve undone everything I’ve ever achieved, I can’t solve this, no matter how hard I try.”

 

“Isn’t that what we’re doing now?” Scott said. Movement behind Virgil told him Scott had shifted, he turned his gaze from the floor as Scott circled the bed and squatted in front of him. “We’re trying to fix this now, that’s what matters. Doubting yourself is part of the process, but it isn’t who you are. If you ever question yourself, talk to me, don’t shut it inside. I promise you Virg, you’re more than capable of defeating your demons and you will.”

 

“How?” Virgil whispered with a broken breath.

 

“You really need to ask that?” Scott said, his worried expression saddened Virgil. “We take this one step at a time. I don’t want you thinking about whether you can do the job or not, because right now that’s not an option. I only want you to fight this knowing that I believe you can and you _will_ beat it. We’ll problem solve this together, okay?”

 

Virgil nodded acknowledgment, still too doubtful to believe in his brother’s convictions but willing to at least try. With so much turmoil inside his head, it was difficult to hold onto the hope that Scott had in abundance compared to his own. But Scott’s expression showed how much pain Virgil’s self-recrimination was causing him, that alone gave him _some_ power to push forward and fight his nightmares, it wasn’t much but at least he could admit it was a start in the right direction.

 

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

 

After their conversation, Scott had reluctantly returned to bed. He’d wanted to remain with Virgil but he wouldn’t allow it. He reminded his brother that it was part of their agreement and Scott would do well to keep up his side of it by continuing to rest. As it was, Scott was still asleep which left Virgil, as the first one up today, to make breakfast. His crutch leaned against the counter as he perched on a stool, it wasn’t the easiest way to cook but it would spare him any comments about overdoing things and putting unnecessary pressure on his legs.

 

He heard sleepy feet shuffling down the stairs and glanced away from the scrambled eggs, Gordon appeared rubbing his eyes through a yawn. He stopped and stared for a moment before continuing toward the refrigerator. “For a moment there, I thought you’d gotten even shorter.”

 

“Ha ha,” Virgil replied. “No eggs for you, now.”

 

“As if you’d deny your little brother sustenance,” Gordon chuckled. “You’re not that cruel.”

 

Virgil reached toward the fruit bowl and plucked an apple from the pile, he tossed it to Gordon who caught it easily. “There you go.”

 

“Fine, fine,” Gordon grumbled playfully. “You’re not any more a midget than you were before. Satisfied?”

 

“Hey, I’m taller than you.”

 

“Not for much longer,” Gordon countered. “Unlike you, I’m still growing.”

 

Virgil waved him off with a laugh as Gordon smirked and took a huge bite out of the apple. He placed plates by the stove top and helped Virgil prepare breakfast, by the time that Alan came into the room it was ready and Gordon took up the task of moving it all from the counter to the table as Virgil limped along with his crutch.

 

“Where’s Scott?” Gordon asked between bites.

 

Alan poured juice into a glass as he answered. “Still asleep.”

 

“I can’t remember the last time he’d slept so much, not since we were little.” Gordon replied.

 

“Well, he’s certainly making up for lost time, now.” Alan said.

 

Virgil watched them in silence. He had no doubt that they knew about his nightmare and Scott’s time in his room, very little escaped their notice and their obvious redirection was appreciated. They had taken up the role of both themselves and Scott and Virgil, both having their own workloads increased but seemingly unbothered by the change. The small part of him that wasn’t crippled with doubt wanted to get back to work to ease their burden, but Scott had insisted that it wouldn’t happen any faster than Virgil could manage. Pushing himself would be counterproductive and he hadn’t done so with his physical recovery, his nightmares would have to be approached in the same way.

 

Virgil appreciated times like these, where his brothers were close and chatting about everyday things as if they weren’t part of an international rescue organisation. It helped to give Virgil a sense of normality and distracted him from the issues that plagued his mind frequently. It helped to take away the constant reminder of why he suffered so badly from something that shouldn’t garner the responses it did.

 

“Earth to Virgil? Anyone home?”

 

 Virgil blinked and his vision focused on Gordon as he waved his hand in front of Virgil’s face. “Huh?”

 

Alan stared with a forkful of egg halfway to his mouth as Gordon moved away to sit back in his seat. “You were totally zoned out, bro.”

 

“Sorry,” Virgil replied sheepishly as he continued eating.

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Alan replied. “We were wondering when you and Scott were leaving.”

 

“Leaving?”

 

Gordon washed down the last mouthful of food with his coffee. “Yeah, since you’re both on vacation the two of you could take some time away from the island. Scott won’t be able to look over our shoulders and you’ve been cooped up here since you’ve been back, it’s a win win as far as I can see.”

 

Virgil frowned as Alan nodded. “If I had the chance, I’d jump at it. It’s not like we get much free time.”

 

“I’ll talk to Scott later,” Virgil replied. It was an idea that he hadn’t considered, whilst he alone was grounded the choice wasn’t on the table but with Scott now in the same position it did open up the opportunity. He found he quite liked the idea.

 

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

 

“If that’s what you want,” Scott said with a shrug. He didn’t seem very committed to the suggestion, but then Scott was still trying to work through the notion of being grounded.

 

“It’s a good idea,” Virgil replied as he sketched on his pad. “If you don’t want to, we can stay here.”

 

“No,” Scott leaned closer to peek at his work, Virgil turned it and tilted away with a frown in silent reprimand. Scott huffed in amusement and straightened on his side of the couch. “Since we’re both off the team there’s not much else to do, you never know, it could be fun.”

 

Virgil returned to his own comfortable position and continued with his sketching. “So, any suggestions for where to go?”

 

Scott hummed beside him, with Virgil’s attention focused on the paper, he didn’t see his expression. “Paris.”

 

Virgil looked up and frowned at Scott. “Paris?”

 

Scott smiled. “Yeah, I think so.”

 

“Why?”

 

Scott gave a single nod to Virgil’s sketchbook. “The city of art, the perfect place to take my talented brother.”

 

“As much as I appreciate the gesture,” Virgil replied. “Art galleries aren’t really your thing, Scott.”

 

“They are if it makes you happy,” Scott said with a shrug. If he was attempting nonchalance, it wasn’t working. “Besides, we won’t be spending the entire trip looking at paintings and sculptures. There’s an air and space museum just north of Paris I wouldn’t mind taking a look at.”

 

"We can do that, too." Virgil nodded.

 

Scott mimicked the movement and stood up with a stretch and a new energy that Virgil hadn't seen outside of International Rescue for a long time. "Okay, Paris it is."

 

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

 

Unsurprisingly, Scott had taken it upon himself to arrange everything and pack what they would need, leaving Virgil to focus on his own belongings. Once he had gathered everything that he wanted to take, Scott had retrieved his bags and loaded them into Thunderbird Two as well. By the time he had reached the hangar, his ship looked ready to go and after brief farewells to his family he stepped onto the platform alongside Gordon and waved as he lifted up and inside.

 

Once in the cockpit, he spotted Scott sitting in his seat. Gordon paced forward. “Hey, what are you doing? I’m flying, not you.”

 

Scott looked confused for a moment, even as he left the seat and raised his hands in surrender. “What?”

 

Gordon frowned at him as he dropped into the chair, clipped his belt on with a little more force than was needed and turned to the controls. “Grounded, remember?”

 

“So, I can’t even fly?” Scott asked incredulously.

 

Virgil’s eyebrows lifted in stunned amusement, noticing how accepting Scott was of the situation. His brother took the co-pilot seat and shook his head at Gordon’s behaviour.

 

“Not a Thunderbird, no.” Gordon replied. Virgil took his seat behind Gordon as his ship rumbled to life. “Grandma’s orders.”

 

“Since when have you been an advocate of following the rules, Gordo?” Virgil said as he clipped in.

 

Gordon turned to him with a smirk on his face. “Having this much power over Scott? Wouldn’t you?”

 

“Point taken.” Virgil chuckled.

 

“And not easily forgotten,” Scott chimed in with eyes narrowed in Gordon’s direction.

 

Gordon shrugged. “Watching my back for the foreseeable future is worth this brief moment, believe me.”

 

Virgil left them to playfully argue as the sunlight flooded the hangar with the lowering of the door, as his ship moved forward he couldn’t help the fluttering in his gut as she creeped along the runway to the ramp. The ramp lifted and, as he had nothing to do, he leaned back and waited for her launch.

 

Thunderbird Two took off and Virgil revelled in the feeling. It was ridiculous really, he’d been her passenger a few times after the accident but this was the one thing he hadn’t experienced since. The thrill of the initial take off was always a delight, a routine that offered comfort just by being routine. He missed the little things.

 

“Thunderbird Two is go.” Gordon said.

 

Virgil’s face fell.

 

_“Why do you always get to say that?” Gordon complained from the co-pilot seat._

_Virgil shrugged with a grin on his face. “My ship, my rules.”_

But it wasn’t his ship now, not really, she hadn’t been for a while and his brothers had flown her instead. He could sit here and call Thunderbird Two his all he wanted, it didn’t change the fact that he wasn’t sure he could ever be confident enough to be back on the team anyway, which would make her belong to someone else in the end. He sighed heavily. He really was making things worse with such thoughts, but it was so very hard to not consider it.

 

“Hey.” A hand gently rested on top of his own, he twitched with surprise and looked up at Scott who watched him with concern. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing,” Virgil answered automatically. He shifted in his seat and tried to hide his discomfort but Scott didn’t relent. He glanced at Gordon, his brother seemed far too focused on flying the ship and Virgil shook his head. “I’m fine, just trying to get comfy.”

 

Scott frowned but nodded and let the matter drop for now, pivoting back around to face forward again. Their conversation resumed and Virgil focused on that, he listened as Scott offered suggestions to their younger brother regarding International Rescue, which Gordon took delight in teasing him about.

 

“Wait till Grandma hears about this,” Gordon chortled. “She’ll make you eat a whole plate of her cookies just for that. I can see it now, you’ll have no teeth by cookie number four.”

 

“And no stomach contents either,” Virgil added, infectiously drawn in by Gordon’s merriment and Scott’s deathly glare.

 

“I swear, I will hide boobytraps in both of your rooms if you try it.” Scott pitched low.

 

“There isn’t a prank invented that I haven’t tried, I’ll see through your traps easy enough.” Gordon countered with a shrug.

 

“Believe me, little brother. You don’t know them all.” Scott said with a wicked smirk on his face.

 

Their banter was interrupted by John’s hologram appearing in front of Gordon, he gave a cautious glance to the two grounded brothers before he turned to address their pilot. “Sorry guys, but we have a situation.”

 

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

 

Their situation, as it turned out, was time sensitive which meant that both Scott and Virgil were along for the ride. Scott had offered to help, but Gordon had insisted that he could handle it and that Scott was to stay put. That didn’t sit well with him and a small argument broke out as they made their way to the danger zone.

 

“This is stupid, I’m right here and I can help.” Scott protested. “Two is better than one.”

 

“I’ll remember that the next time you go out on your own,” Gordon snapped back at him. “Oh, wait. You’re grounded, I forgot.”

 

“Don’t be petty,” Scott replied, he turned to glare out of the window.

 

“This isn’t open for discussion,” Gordon continued, ignoring Scott’s comment. “I can do this on my own. You stay here with Virgil.”

 

Virgil’s eyebrows lifted at Gordon’s commanding tone, it wasn’t the jovial power trip of earlier, this one was determined. He watched the two as they continued to squabble, their voices raised with each reply and soon enough the cockpit was loud with shouting. He shook his head as his own anger came to the surface, reached over and pulled the console closer and tapped away. It wasn’t hard to set the autopilot, dropping their speed so that Gordon couldn’t tax Two’s engines anymore.

 

The motion of the gradual decrease was noticeable in the cockpit, both brothers stopped bickering and looked at the controls in concern. When they realised that the autopilot had been engaged, they turned to look at him.

 

“Are you done?” Virgil asked calmly, his expression said enough to show how unimpressed he was.

 

“What did you set the autopilot for?” Gordon complained, still angry with the argument.

 

“Someone had to fly the ship,” Virgil bit back. “It’s supposed to be you, since you’re the only active member here, but you and Scott were so preoccupied I thought it was a good idea to make sure we stayed in the air long enough for the two of you to finish your hissy fits.”

 

Gordon blinked at him, his mouth opened to reply but he changed his mind and turned back around. A moment later, Virgil’s console told him that the autopilot had been disengaged.

 

“And you,” Virgil continued with a finger pointed at Scott. “You’re grounded and that’s not up for debate, let Gordon do his job and stop distracting him.”

 

Scott kept his mouth tightly shut but it was clear that he had something to say, Virgil lifted an eyebrow to challenge him and Scott breathed out through his nose, his eyes fell away and back out the window.

 

As vacations go, this wasn’t a good start but it did prove that getting Scott away from the island was a good decision. Gordon had been right, he would have been looking over their shoulders every chance he could get and taking that away was for the best.

 

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

 

The suite was impressive, a grand design with ornate features and rich colours. The view from the balcony showed the illuminated Eiffel Tower. The lounge area was spacious with two sofas in the centre of the room facing each other and a bar tucked into the corner with the bedroom and bathroom off to the right. The elegant beauty would have captivated his full attention if Virgil wasn’t so exhausted from the flight.

 

Scott came up behind him and dropped his hand to Virgil’s shoulder. “Not a bad view.”

 

Virgil agreed with a nod as Scott took his elbow in hand and helped him limp to the sofa. He gingerly lowered himself down and hissed as his leg protested his overuse of the limb.

 

Scott kneeled in font of him and gently unclasped the brace, pulled it free and massaged the muscles to offer a small relief from the pain. Virgil tipped his head back to rest against the chair, closed his eyes and tried to relax in the quiet of the room.

 

Thunderbird Two had landed at Charles de Gaulle airport, allowing Scott and Virgil to travel from there to the hotel in a taxi, it meant that they could move about without scrutiny and the security at the airport ensured Virgil didn’t have an audience as he disembarked. The last thing they wanted was tabloids printing pictures of the injured International Rescue operative arriving in France.

 

It meant that Virgil had to use a lot of energy to make the trip, effort that he was now unaccustomed to due to his convalescence. He sighed as muscles ached and tiredness tried to pull him under, something he would be grateful to be free of when he could finally walk without hurting.

 

Scott released his leg and from the sound of it, he had stood and started to organise their belongings, Virgil dozed as he listened to his brother move about the rooms.

 

“Where first, tomorrow?” Scott said and Virgil stiffened in surprise. He opened his eyes and sat up, spotted Scott as he came through the door leading to the bedroom and his brother stopped and stared. “Sorry, I didn’t think you were asleep.”

 

“It’s okay,” Virgil replied as he gathered his crutch and struggled to his feet. “I’d prefer not to spend the night on the couch.”

 

Scott hovered as Virgil limped to the bedroom, the beds faced him against the opposite wall and Scott gave him the choice of the two. He picked the one nearest the window, knowing his brother preferred to be near the door. He stripped down and climbed in, still dazed from his nap and groaned in appreciation at how easily the comfort of the bed swallowed him up.

 

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

 

When daylight hit his face he groaned and tried to bury himself under the blankets, a chuckle to his right had him opening his eyes to scowl at Scott who perched on his bed with the blanket firm in his hand. “I hate you right now.”

 

“You’ll forgive me,” Scott supplied knowingly. “We have breakfast freshly made and delivered, then a trip to the Louvre. I’ve already made arrangements.”

 

“Did you sleep at all?” Virgil complained as he sat up and stretched his spine.

 

“Of course,” Scott responded, far too happy for the time of day. “It’s amazing how much you do can in forty-five minutes.”

 

Virgil muttered his irritation at Scott’s early bird nature, an opposite to his own desire to sleep in whenever he could. He dragged himself from the bed and limped to the bathroom.

 

After grudgingly getting ready, he met Scott at the small dining table on the balcony. He couldn’t deny the view as a sure way to rouse him fully, that and the smell of coffee. By the time they were done, he was awake and eager to set off which his brother seemed to delight in.

 

Virgil was ready to leave when Scott approached him with his second crutch. Virgil groaned.

 

“You either take two, or I push you around in a wheelchair,” Scott offered with little sympathy.

 

“I can manage just fine,” Virgil protested even as he took the second crutch.

 

“Hey, I’m only following orders.” Scott patted Virgil on the back as he moved around him and opened the door. “I can make a quick call to the island if you want a second opinion.”

 

Considering both Gordon and Brains had been the ones to relay instructions to Scott, he doubted it would change his options. He followed Scott out of the room and down the hall, keeping his grumbled complaints to himself.

 

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

 

Virgil wouldn’t admit it, but it was the right decision to take both crutches. He’d barely made it halfway around the Louvre before pain had set in and Scott had noticed it, sat them down to rest in a secluded area and encouraged him to take his pain medication. He hadn’t needed to take them for some time with the pain being manageable and his lack of activity, but now that he was on the move more, it had returned with vengeance. At one point he actually considered the wheelchair for any further trips whilst they were here, but his stubbornness helped him find the strength to fight that urge.

 

They had waited for the medication to kick in before moving on, but Virgil had found his interest waning with the reminder of his physical disabilities curbing his enthusiasm. Scott noticed that too and suggested that they have an early lunch, they left slower than they came and took a taxi to what the driver said was the best café around.

 

The view was beautiful, the food delicious but Virgil couldn’t find it in himself to be happy. He sighed as he leaned his chin on his hand and stirred his coffee, looking out at the people that walked by.

 

“Penny for your thoughts,” Scott said and Virgil flicked his eyes to his brother.

 

“Keep the penny,” Virgil replied on a sigh. “You know them anyway.”

 

“We knew this would drain you,” Scott swivelled on his seat to turn away from the view and give Virgil his full attention. “Don’t let it get you down.”

 

“You know, I was actually enjoying myself in there.” Virgil dropped his hand and leaned back in his seat. “And I hate that my damn leg took that away from me. That’s all the accident has done, taken so much from me and I don’t know how much more I can tolerate.”

 

“You’ve made it this far,” Scott countered gently. “And you’re almost there, don’t give up now.”

 

“Physically,” Virgil added, his eyes now downcast. He shook his head in denial. “Combined, I still have a long way to go.”

 

“I don’t want to state the obvious but I feel like I have to. The two are connected, when you’re healed up and fully mobile again things will be different, you’ll be more positive.”

 

“Maybe,” Virgil replied. Scott’s hand wrapped around his forearm, he lifted his head and his brother smiled reassuringly.

 

“No ‘maybe’ about it.”

 

He wished he could believe that, but if Scott wasn’t backing down the least he could do was try to keep up.

 

TBC


End file.
